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Significant others and the hobby

West 23rd

Review Contributor
Messages: 410
Reviews: 37
Joined
#82
When I was married and living with my wife, I stepped back into hobby, once, for a bit. I committed to having my first affair with an old college GF but we had yet to (re)consummate our agreement at the time but I was so horny one night I figured, "eh let me get an appetizer" and did a ultimately so-so session at an AMP. Fast-forward to divorce, started "full-time" but would take breaks when a SO would come into play. Right now, I've got a regular gal on the side but still hobby. Easy to keep UTR though there have been some times of, "oh honey, why aren't you spending the night tonight?" moments.
 

0h.hay

Review Contributor
Messages: 44
Reviews: 4
Joined
#83
So from what I've gathered.... marriage sucks lol

Any girl I've seriously dated has really enjoyed sex and kept me satisfied/ not looking elsewhere. Then I hobby in between relationships when life gets too busy. I'd imagine these are long duration marriages/ the women are over 30 and having kids definitely changes the dynamics.

Would appreciate any imparted wisdom on this question. I always figured a girl that loves sex while we're in a relationship would still be that same person should we ever get married. Is that not true from those with similar significant others? Is it just the decades wearing things down? Kids? Menopause?
 

Matawan3

Registered Member
Messages: 1,216
Joined
#84
So from what I've gathered.... marriage sucks lol

Any girl I've seriously dated has really enjoyed sex and kept me satisfied/ not looking elsewhere. Then I hobby in between relationships when life gets too busy. I'd imagine these are long duration marriages/ the women are over 30 and having kids definitely changes the dynamics.

Would appreciate any imparted wisdom on this question. I always figured a girl that loves sex while we're in a relationship would still be that same person should we ever get married. Is that not true from those with similar significant others? Is it just the decades wearing things down? Kids? Menopause?
Not a chance. Things change. I was in a relationship for 8 years, and for the first few months, the sex was bad, we just weren't on the same page. Then it got really great for about 3 years which I figured would last forever. It doesn't It dwindled from about 15 times a month, to twice a month, to maybe once every 3 months. Then it became a dead bedroom.

Then, we broke up, then 10 months later she text me saying she just wanted it. Would you believe, the sex we had outside of our relationship was better than the 8 years we were in a relationship?

The point is; sex changes. It never stays the same. Actually staying the same is the problem, the same old stuff gets boring.
 

Matawan3

Registered Member
Messages: 1,216
Joined
#85
The guy next door to me is about 30 years old, is married to a very attractive wife, two healthy cute kids.

One day he stopped me and asked if I wanted to hang out. He seemed lonely, unfullfilled. He pointed to his house and said "I don't get out much THIS IS ALL I HAVE".

Thats all I needed to hear about marriage and kids.
 

Bultaco103

Review Contributor
Messages: 165
Reviews: 8
Joined
#86
So from what I've gathered.... marriage sucks lol

Any girl I've seriously dated has really enjoyed sex and kept me satisfied/ not looking elsewhere. Then I hobby in between relationships when life gets too busy. I'd imagine these are long duration marriages/ the women are over 30 and having kids definitely changes the dynamics.

Would appreciate any imparted wisdom on this question. I always figured a girl that loves sex while we're in a relationship would still be that same person should we ever get married. Is that not true from those with similar significant others? Is it just the decades wearing things down? Kids? Menopause?
It all depends on you finding the right girl and both completely understanding and being 100% honest with each other before you get married. So if she realizes you like bjs often and wants to satisfy you. If she enjoys flirting and having guy friends and you want her to be happy, etc. My SO allows me to do whatever I want and the closeness and sex gets better every year. Problems arise when either of you stops being totally honest, stops trying to satisfy each other, or simply grow in opposite directions and no longer are 100% attracted to the “new” partner. Hard to generalize, but so many guys/girls on this site seem to enjoy the hidden nature of spa activity. Hiding stuff in a relationship typically harms the trust and closeness. Also, do not rush or get pressured into marriage. Wait for the right one. Might take a long time, but better than a suck ass marriage.
 

Bultaco103

Review Contributor
Messages: 165
Reviews: 8
Joined
#87
The guy next door to me is about 30 years old, is married to a very attractive wife, two healthy cute kids.

One day he stopped me and asked if I wanted to hang out. He seemed lonely, unfullfilled. He pointed to his house and said "I don't get out much THIS IS ALL I HAVE".

Thats all I needed to hear about marriage and kids.
Wrong your neighbor is just a spineless idiot. There is nothing that can be more fulfilling than having a great marriage and raising children. You just can’t make that your only focus in life. You need to do shut that brings you joy and happiness no matter what your marital status.
 

Matawan3

Registered Member
Messages: 1,216
Joined
#88
Wrong your neighbor is just a spineless idiot. There is nothing that can be more fulfilling than having a great marriage and raising children. You just can’t make that your only focus in life. You need to do shut that brings you joy and happiness no matter what your marital status.
I get what you are saying. He definitely seemed like he is just socially awkward in general. Like he was nervous asking if I wanted to hang out. Like a guy asking his crush out to the high school prom. It was kind of bizarre to be honest.
 

twotimesone

Review Contributor
Messages: 102
Reviews: 5
Joined
#90
So from what I've gathered.... marriage sucks lol

Any girl I've seriously dated has really enjoyed sex and kept me satisfied/ not looking elsewhere. Then I hobby in between relationships when life gets too busy. I'd imagine these are long duration marriages/ the women are over 30 and having kids definitely changes the dynamics.

Would appreciate any imparted wisdom on this question. I always figured a girl that loves sex while we're in a relationship would still be that same person should we ever get married. Is that not true from those with similar significant others? Is it just the decades wearing things down? Kids? Menopause?
You should check out deadbedrooms in reddit if you want more information. Unfortunately, nobody ever knows what's going to happen until you get married. Fortunately, some women give you signs of sexless before marriage and even after marriage but no kids and in these kinds of situations you should leave.

However, most situations go downhill after kids when your wife becomes a mom and she essentially becomes your mom and thinks she knows what is best for you. The "Happy wife, Happy life" BS motto comes to mind. For me, I go back home, nothing to really look forward from my wife in a point of self-defeat kind of way. So the other day she looked menu online and made some effort in making some kind of tasteless veggie crap and asked me, "Don't you like this kind of stuff that I made for you?" And I said, "you know I don't like tasteless, meatless stuff." Like Walter White's dumb logic of why he is in the meth business, but my wife is spending all the effort doing good for herself but thinks that she is doing she is doing good for you.

Sorry, ranting here about my wife. But you never know what will go on with your SO until you marry them. Some couples have happy marriages and some have miserable marriages and everywhere in-between. Despite the dead bedroom in my situation, I like being married and come home with kids in the house. Nobody will know what will happen down the line so it depends on you if you want to take the chance or not.
 

0h.hay

Review Contributor
Messages: 44
Reviews: 4
Joined
#91
Appreciate the advice and experienced insights guys! Good to know a successful marriage isn't impossible.

Not tryna waste my youthful years and take a hit to hard earned net worth based one decision.
 

YOYOBlue

Registered Member
Messages: 57
Reviews: 4
Joined
#92
Marriage for anyone can be hit or miss. Seems its like doing lsd or something like that where as much as people want to share their experience you have to go through it yourself.

As for other pussy besides my wife. I just like different pussy. I dont want to eat mcdonalds everyday and i dont want to eat a steak everyday. Seeing new pussy in person is great.
 

Don Hollinger

Registered Member
Messages: 64
Joined
#95
People with SO’s, do you just not partake in bbbj’s? Or is your bedroom so dead there is 0 chance in being with your wife more? Or do you just accept the risk?
Zero chance...some women by 50 just won't, mine's over 60. Not going to happen. As funky as backpage was five years ago it enabled me to remain happily married again. It's a don't ask/don't tell kind of thing.
 

instinctsrtrue

Review Contributor
Messages: 222
Reviews: 5
Joined
#97
I got involved with a SB and it ended BADLY with her making a call to the wife after I dumped her. Imagine being in bed with your wife at 11 pm and the SB calls her. We are still together but it has been hell. I got revenge on the SB by telling all her family that she is a sex worker and showing proof.

The wife and I had a young kid and problems and I wanted a connection beyond just an AMP or escort. Huge mistake. Beware, my SB and many of these girls have borderline personality disorder.

Anyway, you can have a good marriage with regular sex but it just takes work and communication. Problems arise when resentments build and she does not want to have sex. Also, keep in mind that women can be very selfish and also they are not interested in solving your problems. You have to strike the right balance of being a man but not a dick. And keeping communication open. Plus women (and men) get lazy in relationships and start eating crappy and the gym becomes a distant memory. Cant let that happen. One thing I learned is if you’re unhappy, you have to speak up and change that shit. It is helpful to read books, go to counseling.

I have fucked up in the biggest way possible. But in many ways my marriage is better than ever. And btw, young kids are so hard but they are the cutest things ever.

Other lesson - vet the women in your life carefully and make sure she is self sufficient and not mentally ill. Those qualities are much more important than hotness. Never ever get involved with any woman who has ever been involved with sex work!!!!
 

didi88

Review Contributor
Messages: 1,307
Reviews: 20
Joined
#98
I got involved with a SB and it ended BADLY with her making a call to the wife after I dumped her. Imagine being in bed with your wife at 11 pm and the SB calls her. We are still together but it has been hell. I got revenge on the SB by telling all her family that she is a sex worker and showing proof.

The wife and I had a young kid and problems and I wanted a connection beyond just an AMP or escort. Huge mistake. Beware, my SB and many of these girls have borderline personality disorder.

Anyway, you can have a good marriage with regular sex but it just takes work and communication. Problems arise when resentments build and she does not want to have sex. Also, keep in mind that women can be very selfish and also they are not interested in solving your problems. You have to strike the right balance of being a man but not a dick. And keeping communication open. Plus women (and men) get lazy in relationships and start eating crappy and the gym becomes a distant memory. Cant let that happen. One thing I learned is if you’re unhappy, you have to speak up and change that shit. It is helpful to read books, go to counseling.

I have fucked up in the biggest way possible. But in many ways my marriage is better than ever. And btw, young kids are so hard but they are the cutest things ever.

Other lesson - vet the women in your life carefully and make sure she is self sufficient and not mentally ill. Those qualities are much more important than hotness. Never ever get involved with any woman who has ever been involved with sex work!!!!
This is a cautionary tale regarding SBs. Never give them any personal information. As this case shows, you never know what might be used against you later on
 

FatCho

Trying to quit
Messages: 184
Reviews: 9
Joined
#99
So from what I've gathered.... marriage sucks lol

Any girl I've seriously dated has really enjoyed sex and kept me satisfied/ not looking elsewhere. Then I hobby in between relationships when life gets too busy. I'd imagine these are long duration marriages/ the women are over 30 and having kids definitely changes the dynamics.

Would appreciate any imparted wisdom on this question. I always figured a girl that loves sex while we're in a relationship would still be that same person should we ever get married. Is that not true from those with similar significant others? Is it just the decades wearing things down? Kids? Menopause?
I have been married for 16 years. Dated for 9 years before getting married. The sex was awesome when we were dating, but slowly started decreasing in frequency and quality year after year. 2 Kids later and it is virtually nothing. I think I had sex 1 time this whole covid year. We are in good standing, no arguments etc. Something changes in them when the kids happen. It is just a part of life. Things that happen for you when you're dating all of a sudden stop. In fact, there isn't even much physical closeness anymore. No more hand holding, no more asking how my day was. I still buy the flowers and cake for certain occasions, but we both know it's just going through the motions. Both kids are doing great in school, typical suburban life but just no sex. When I look at how her parents act, I see where she gets it from. The mom treats the dad like a child. I refuse to walk down the same path, but I'm so far into this. Waiting for the kids to move out and have a good life before I will think about options. Do not marry a woman just to lock down sex.
She will probably cheat on you or look for it somewhere else if she gets bored of you. A marriage certificate is just a piece of paper to them. Marriage rates are down in the US because men are waking up. I hope this helps you out a bit.
 

discreet jim

Review Contributor
Messages: 6
Joined
I work away from the city I live in. I go months without seeing my wife, so this is how I justify it. But I also look at it this way: So many men have affairs, and break up their marriage, and sometimes that of their married partner. Kid are hurt, homes are lost, etc. I don't get people who have an affair with work partners, a neighbor, or their wife's relative (it happens). It will never end well. If you have an urge to "cheat", this is the way to do it. Hopefully no one finds out, and no one is harmed. None of these girls are going to fall in love with us, and show up at our door, or call our wives. So really, you are saving your marriage, not destroying it. lol...how's that for justification ha
 
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