Significant others and the hobby

[YOYOBlue]

I work away from the city I live in. I go months without seeing my wife, so this is how I justify it. But I also look at it this way: So many men have affairs, and break up their marriage, and sometimes that of their married partner. Kid are hurt, homes are lost, etc. I don't get people who have an affair with work partners, a neighbor, or their wife's relative (it happens). It will never end well. If you have an urge to "cheat", this is the way to do it. Hopefully no one finds out, and no one is harmed. None of these girls are going to fall in love with us, and show up at our door, or call our wives. So really, you are saving your marriage, not destroying it. lol...how's that for justification ha

Preach brother. Although I still want to catch fish sometimes instead of buying them.

As far as the sex decline after marriage I would think that would happen in any long term relationship unless you really work at it. Like everything in life it seems like a cycle. We are animals and probably feel that crazy lust in the beginning so we procreate. After that it makes sense that men would look else where to spread their seed. I am okay having sex with my wife once a month or none at all. I dont want to eat her pussy and Idc if she ever blows me again. Most of the time I look at it as work and I would rather jerk off. My point of view on marriage overall is that we are partners now in something much bigger than sex. Our family is a company we need to run well.

But not enough emphasis can be put on the fact that having this hobby as an option is an absolute necessity. A long term monogamous relationship just seems impossible in my mind for men.

 

[Don Hollinger]

Preach brother. Although I still want to catch fish sometimes instead of buying them.

As far as the sex decline after marriage I would think that would happen in any long term relationship unless you really work at it. Like everything in life it seems like a cycle. We are animals and probably feel that crazy lust in the beginning so we procreate. After that it makes sense that men would look else where to spread their seed. I am okay having sex with my wife once a month or none at all. I dont want to eat her pussy and Idc if she ever blows me again. Most of the time I look at it as work and I would rather jerk off. My point of view on marriage overall is that we are partners now in something much bigger than sex. Our family is a company we need to run well.

But not enough emphasis can be put on the fact that having this hobby as an option is an absolute necessity. A long term monogamous relationship just seems impossible in my mind for men.

Absolutely....Families are businesses. And women see their partner as a stable provider who will take care of them. Consider if the guy leaves her for a hot young 'start up' and there's so much societal blowback---assets divided, children hate the dad for what he did. And the new SO might not be so trusting.

IDK about this being a hobby...a passion, yes, lifestyle. It's an absolute necessity for me--keeps me sober, in shape and happier than I've ever been. I think other guys in sexless marriages lose their drive, find societally sanctioned real hobbies, sports, crafts, nice shit like that. For all I know they're mongering as well. Or they gave up. Or more likely, they thought about this pastime but never had the balls to make a date. Worried about Guido the pimp.

 

[instinctsrtrue]

Does anyone know stories of happy marriages and relationships?

 

[negativeland]

Absolutely....Families are businesses. And women see their partner as a stable provider who will take care of them. Consider if the guy leaves her for a hot young 'start up' and there's so much societal blowback---assets divided, children hate the dad for what he did. And the new SO might not be so trusting.

IDK about this being a hobby...a passion, yes, lifestyle. It's an absolute necessity for me--keeps me sober, in shape and happier than I've ever been. I think other guys in sexless marriages lose their drive, find societally sanctioned real hobbies, sports, crafts, nice shit like that. For all I know they're mongering as well. Or they gave up. Or more likely, they thought about this pastime but never had the balls to make a date. Worried about Guido the pimp.

Totally agree. The family, as a business thing. This hobby is actually necessary for me to run my business. It keeps me happy and healthy. Sex with wife is still good, but not often enough, no BJs, but I can do her. We are getting old though.

 

[negativeland]

Does anyone know stories of happy marriages and relationships?

The happiest couples are the ones who don't get married. I think thats the secret, a little too late for me.

 

[instinctsrtrue]

Do guys go with sex workers because they feel they are young or hot? Or is it that their wives don’t fuck? If your wives fucked, would you still see Sex workers? Would your answer be different at 40 than 60?

 

[Sporty3064]

I wonder how many SO are on this thread? Lol

 

[twotimesone]

Do guys go with sex workers because they feel they are young or hot? Or is it that their wives don’t fuck? If your wives fucked, would you still see Sex workers? Would your answer be different at 40 than 60?

It is just me. But I rather have good sex with my wife. It is not just sex, but it is companionship. Age is not that important to me, and I know my provider is on the older side.

 

[tooput718]

I work away from the city I live in. I go months without seeing my wife, so this is how I justify it. But I also look at it this way: So many men have affairs, and break up their marriage, and sometimes that of their married partner. Kid are hurt, homes are lost, etc. I don't get people who have an affair with work partners, a neighbor, or their wife's relative (it happens). It will never end well. If you have an urge to "cheat", this is the way to do it. Hopefully no one finds out, and no one is harmed. None of these girls are going to fall in love with us, and show up at our door, or call our wives. So really, you are saving your marriage, not destroying it. lol...how's that for justification ha

I work away from the city I live in. I go months without seeing my wife, so this is how I justify it. But I also look at it this way: So many men have affairs, and break up their marriage, and sometimes that of their married partner. Kid are hurt, homes are lost, etc. I don't get people who have an affair with work partners, a neighbor, or their wife's relative (it happens). It will never end well. If you have an urge to "cheat", this is the way to do it. Hopefully no one finds out, and no one is harmed. None of these girls are going to fall in love with us, and show up at our door, or call our wives. So really, you are saving your marriage, not destroying it. lol...how's that for justification ha

Discrete Jim: you're likely not wrong re: your "justification" comment, although you made it in jest. Marriage counselors and books say that men cheat to stay in a marriage. Women cheat to get out of a marriage.

 

[4Milfgaard]

To be honest visiting amps and providers is nice and all once in a while, but it's not like they will help you with your problems or be there for you emotionally. It's taken me a while to realize that for me this activity has made me a hollow person. I feel like I have become more quiet, reserved, have absolutely no friends (not even female friends), and life just generally feels shitty. I'm seeing a therapist now.

 

[Hugh mongus]

They'll also

To be honest visiting amps and providers is nice and all once in a while, but it's not like they will help you with your problems or be there for you emotionally. It's taken me a while to realize that for me this activity has made me a hollow person. I feel like I have become more quiet, reserved, have absolutely no friends (not even female friends), and life just generally feels shitty. I'm seeing a therapist now.

They'll also add more problems to your life, so it balances out

 

[Don Hollinger]

To be honest visiting amps and providers is nice and all once in a while, but it's not like they will help you with your problems or be there for you emotionally. It's taken me a while to realize that for me this activity has made me a hollow person. I feel like I have become more quiet, reserved, have absolutely no friends (not even female friends), and life just generally feels shitty. I'm seeing a therapist now.

Maybe you were going out a bit much then. I've known guys who lose perspective in this lifestyle and get lost in it.

Companions are not therapists, and I would never burden my late in middle aged shit on a young lady. That would ruin their day.
The ones that I've stayed with have been very empathetic in surprising ways that transcends their job descriptions.

I wish you well.