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Significant others and the hobby

Cuzadam1010

Registered Member
Messages: 150
Reviews: 1
Joined
#41
My two cents.

I am married, in my early thirties. My wife is my best friend so to everyone saying no marriage i think maybe you just got burned. Then again I havent dated an american woman in a long time and met my wife in another country.

Not sure if my desire is nature or nurture but i just know that i like to see new pussy. And i find after I see a provider I enjoy sex with my wife more.

In the past I kept my mongering a secret and i hated it. I didnt feel guilty, i just didnt like not being honest. So I decided just to be upfront about it. My wife accepts it and i often show her pictures of women etc.

I know in the past I said I would do a youtube video talking to her about it and never did. no excuse im jsut an ass. This time however will be different. When i make it and its up Ill post a link here.
99.9% of wives would ask for a divorce if their husband told them they were mongering.
 

Zippy17

Review Contributor
Messages: 979
Reviews: 25
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#42
Just wanted to thank you for sharing your comment with us... It was nice to learn I wasn't alone.
I think a lot of mariages become sexless or almost sexless largely because guys are so fucked up by indoctrination with the sexual double standard. They can't marry any girl who gives them what they really want sexually...and they can't get the kind of sex they need from anybody they date seriously and respect. That's why they have to go elsewhere for sexual satisfaction. I don't see girls for what I can't get at home; when I see girls, I'm looking for the closest thing possible to exactly what I do with my wife, just with the thrill of being with a new girl.
@instinctsrtrue never said HE wasn't fucked up. We all are. I think the key is we know we are and I'm not sure the providers do, IMHO
I don't think I'm fucked up at all; nor do I think other guys are fucked up just for wanting sex with hot young girls. IMO, the measure of whether or not you're fucked up is what kinds of things you need sexually. We all have different preferences, and I'm not talking about that: For example, I dislike feet but don't think it's fucked up if feet are your thing. IMO, some of the other shit that guys write about doing with these girls is just vile in an objective sense, not just a difference in what body parts or "type" of appearance turns someone on. Ironically, I believe that it's the guys who've been fucked up the most by that indoctrination who are least likely to realize they're fucked up. If you're incapable of respecting a woman who gives you exactly what you need sexually, I think that's a huge problem that's incompatible with long-term happiness in a relationship.
There are those that are FU and go into the biz, and those that go into the biz and get FU. A third category would be those that just love to fuck and discover that they can get paid for what they love to do.
Agreed. Same goes for strippers. My wife danced nude and played around with guys if she liked them; but she's genuinely the nicest girl I've ever met. Those are exactly the kinds of providers I like the best, too: sweet girls who just happen to be very sexual and are OK with doing this. To me, none of that shit is incompatible with being a really nice girl and I've met several girls doing this with whom I'd have been very interested in exploring a more serious dating relationship and their doing this wouldn't have bothered me a bit other than with regard to concerns for their safety.
 

Left

Review Contributor
Messages: 1,311
Reviews: 39
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#43
I got caught by my wife having a relationship with a girl on SA. It turned out almost like bf / gf and she was 20 yes younger. I left her and she called my wife. We are still together, are in therapy, and the marriage is much better in many ways. (I’m in my 40s). I have t cheated in a while and am not nearly as tempted as I used to be given the fear I have after coming close to divorce, and importantly, that we reconnected. Now we have sex 4 times a week!

I don’t know how married guys get free ass. I’m handsome but did not see how that was an option. Maybe others can explain.

One thing I learned is that girls who sell it are basically all fucked up. And that it is not worth having a relationship with feelings outside the marriage. You can work on shit and improve it. I think many of us just get resigned to a bad marriage
I’m older than you and I’m very good shape for my age . I still have good game but I got into this hobby due to necessity and my wife lost desire for sexy after 2nd kid . anyway, I never considered a GF , never wanted one. So I’ve been hobby over 5 years . I’ve become friendly with regulars I see exchange cel {google voice ) not my personal cell . But I did fall for this single mom who I met an agency I asked if we can meet at her house and she said yes . I, gave her donation when I’d see her so nothing was free but she needed money plus kid so I didn’t think twice about it
Anyways , I did fall for her , young hot , good person , yes she is a good person cared die sick dad and mom with cancer so we judge these girls but don’t know their full stories . I wanted her to be mine and she said will I leave your wife ? I stuttered like a mumbling fuck so that changed things and even though we saw each other she wasn’t as friendly as before we had talks . Anyway moral of story . Don’t admit anything to your females as this is your cross to carry not theirs. I argued with my wife abkur lack of intimacy and still do but they’re doing everything else and not cheating on us so we’re wrong and feeling the truth is. It always best . That’s my cross to carry . I know some of yju think Im awful person but I’ve seen too many people be honest and destroys everything.
 

Uniquelyme

Review Contributor
Messages: 7,750
Reviews: 162
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#44
Society (women in particular) are programmed to believe in a strictly monogamous relationship. They can accept masturbation with little to problem at all, but use another woman and it is the end of the world.

As for feeling guilt about the hobby, hum, I have a wife who was an amazing partner in and out of bed. When menopause hit, her desire for sex died and her desire to satisfy me died. It was a very difficult time in our marriage because of my frustration. How many times did I have to jerk off before I finally broke? I can not remember but their absolutely was a number for me. Yes, I hobby and keep it a secret so my wife does not get upset emotionally or financially but I continue to do it without much guilt and there is no longer any pressure in our marriage.

Good luck guys, if you are young, I absolutely recommend you find free ass as much as possible and invest wisely. When you are a rich old man, if you have the urge, you will have the means to walk into a shop and be with a beautiful YOUNG 40 something year old woman to enjoy your
If you got the money is say 20-30 yr old.
 

Don Hollinger

Registered Member
Messages: 428
Reviews: 7
Joined
#45
I’m older than you and I’m very good shape for my age . I still have good game but I got into this hobby due to necessity and my wife lost desire for sexy after 2nd kid . anyway, I never considered a GF , never wanted one. So I’ve been hobby over 5 years . I’ve become friendly with regulars I see exchange cel {google voice ) not my personal cell . But I did fall for this single mom who I met an agency I asked if we can meet at her house and she said yes . I, gave her donation when I’d see her so nothing was free but she needed money plus kid so I didn’t think twice about it
Anyways , I did fall for her , young hot , good person , yes she is a good person cared die sick dad and mom with cancer so we judge these girls but don’t know their full stories . I wanted her to be mine and she said will I leave your wife ? I stuttered like a mumbling fuck so that changed things and even though we saw each other she wasn’t as friendly as before we had talks . Anyway moral of story . Don’t admit anything to your females as this is your cross to carry not theirs. I argued with my wife abkur lack of intimacy and still do but they’re doing everything else and not cheating on us so we’re wrong and feeling the truth is. It always best . That’s my cross to carry . I know some of yju think Im awful person but I’ve seen too many people be honest and destroys everything.
You're not horrible. The worst thing to do besides leaving your wife for a young hottie would be to be honest. There's nothing to gain, she'll feel like shit no matter what. You won't feel one bit better at all by being open. Some things are better off unsaid.
 

didi88

Review Contributor
Messages: 1,532
Reviews: 33
Joined
#46
I have a great sex life with my wife. I just love women and sex. I don’t feel guilty anymore.
I also have a job where I travel all day so I can fit it in anytime.
I also take breaks and budget it my SB too. I’m not obsessed but when I get the urge it’s go time with one of me regulars.
And it’s not cheating
Really? Ask your wife if it’s not cheating. If she doesn’t know about it and she wouldn’t tolerate it if she did know, it’s cheating. But what’s more important than what it’s called is if you feel ok about doing it. If you are ok with it, then you learn to live with the risks. If not, maybe it’s time to reconsider pursuing this hobby
 

Uniquelyme

Review Contributor
Messages: 7,750
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#47
Really? Ask your wife if it’s not cheating. If she doesn’t know about it and she wouldn’t tolerate it if she did know, it’s cheating. But what’s more important than what it’s called is if you feel ok about doing it. If you are ok with it, then you learn to live with the risks. If not, maybe it’s time to reconsider pursuing this hobby
Pros have told me it's not cheating :devilish::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::unsure:we all know damn well it is.
 

Bultaco103

Review Contributor
Messages: 631
Reviews: 31
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#48
Everyone has a different perspective. My SO was my best friend first and knew I liked getting massages and the occasional strip club. So when we decided to make a run at togetherness, she told me I know you like massages and I don’t want you to not get them. It’s probably really therapeutic and obviously fun for you. Nothing better than not sneaking around. We even both go sometimes and compare notes. I think some guys love the sneaking around aspect. It may not be normal to have your spouse onboard with the fun, but it makes it 10 times better as you can talk about what happened and she can try and outdo your massage story.
 

Lovemyspa

No longer on this site. Please do not message me.
Messages: 1,281
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#49
I have a funny story to share. When I was young in the 70's, I lived for a few months in Amsterdam. I was told at that time, and time may have changed things, but many housewives would have a special cookie jar or other saving device and each week they would put a glider or two into it. When their husbands were in the mood and they were not, the housewives would go into their special savings and tell the husbands to go to the canal.
Now back in the 70's a visit to one if the window shops along the canal was only 25 gliders.
Now we are into 2021, so who knows if the cookie jars are still in use
But I hope you all enjoyed this story.
 

Lovemyspa

No longer on this site. Please do not message me.
Messages: 1,281
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#51
I have a funny story to share. When I was young in the 70's, I lived for a few months in Amsterdam. I was told at that time, and time may have changed things, but many housewives would have a special cookie jar or other saving device and each week they would put a glider or two into it. When their husbands were in the mood and they were not, the housewives would go into their special savings and tell the husbands to go to the canal.
Now back in the 70's a visit to one if the window shops along the canal was only 25 gliders.
Now we are into 2021, so who knows if the cookie jars are still in use
But I hope you all enjoyed this story.
I need to correct myself the cost was 100 gliders not 25. My confusion, the exchange rate at the time was 4 gliders to the dollar so the cost was $25
 

transtemporal

Registered Member
Messages: 42
Reviews: 6
Joined
#53
I think this is more than fine and moral, it's necessary. I would have left my wife, had I not found this hobby. This is a perfect balance. Its a win win, as far as I'm concerned.
 

FLW19x3

Franklyspeaking
Messages: 29
Reviews: 8
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#54
There are 2 parts to this conversation: 1) the difference in sexual needs between men and women - I genuinely believe that as men, we are wired (vis hormones) to pursue women pretty much at all times. And further I think that the default social dynamics around dating, where guys are tasked with taking the initiative, exacerbates the male instinct to find new pussy. Now because we are also have a full human being attached to that penis, we will engage in relationships and ultimately marriage. Compare that to women, who risk far more in any potential sexual encounter and you will understand why they are a) generally more protective of their sexual side and b) because they don’t traditionally participate in the pursuit, why they are generally more content with the one man idea, i.e. monogamy. Personally I enjoy the pursuit almost as much as the score and frankly these are parts of my personality that I cannot just suppress. Part 2 - At the end of day, I think the bigger issue isn’t whether seeing any amp or hooking up with a random chick is cheating or not but whether you are betraying or jeopardizing relationship with your SO - in other words are you dismantling the relationship behind her back or are you protecting the shared investment. So in my view, it’s not really important if you (safely) stick your dick into the orifice of another woman to satisfy the occasional curiosity for new pussy, but whether you have the courage to be honest about the state of the relationship with your spouse and yourself. If the relationship has truly run its course, then end it mutually.
 

Don Hollinger

Registered Member
Messages: 428
Reviews: 7
Joined
#55
There are 2 parts to this conversation: 1) the difference in sexual needs between men and women - I genuinely believe that as men, we are wired (vis hormones) to pursue women pretty much at all times. And further I think that the default social dynamics around dating, where guys are tasked with taking the initiative, exacerbates the male instinct to find new pussy. Now because we are also have a full human being attached to that penis, we will engage in relationships and ultimately marriage. Compare that to women, who risk far more in any potential sexual encounter and you will understand why they are a) generally more protective of their sexual side and b) because they don’t traditionally participate in the pursuit, why they are generally more content with the one man idea, i.e. monogamy. Personally I enjoy the pursuit almost as much as the score and frankly these are parts of my personality that I cannot just suppress. Part 2 - At the end of day, I think the bigger issue isn’t whether seeing any amp or hooking up with a random chick is cheating or not but whether you are betraying or jeopardizing relationship with your SO - in other words are you dismantling the relationship behind her back or are you protecting the shared investment. So in my view, it’s not really important if you (safely) stick your dick into the orifice of another woman to satisfy the occasional curiosity for new pussy, but whether you have the courage to be honest about the state of the relationship with your spouse and yourself. If the relationship has truly run its course, then end it mutually.

Eloquent and direct.

We all have our reasons for going out. We are a variety of ages, in different phases of relationships (or not in one at the moment).

I can't imagine any benefit to my wife or myself for wrecking the marriage by having a conversation---we're in our mid 60's. I'd rather lead a secret life schtupping around than be the schmuck who confesses to his wife--that's just me.

She can't complete the act due to health reasons. My companions actually keep the marriage together. They 'prevent' me from pursuing relationships with civvies by giving me what I want--including companionship and a professional friendship.

A younger man may have other motivations like you stated. My 30 year old self would have had a real hard time maintaining anything with a civvie SO, with the allure of hot escorts on the side.

Your point about your "personality that you cannot just suppress" resonates with me. And paid companions tap into that need quite effectively. No matter what age we are.
 

Left

Review Contributor
Messages: 1,311
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#56
This is a very helpful sharing . I’m in my mid forties and i never I’m a million fuckin years thought I’d be paying for pussy in my forties. I’m cAtholic and I confess periodically so that’s how I deal with the guilt . I have friends who are in the same boat as me but they have no outlet besides porn which is great but there is nothing like the real deal . I wish I could gel them to do this but my best friends would destroy me , they would definitely tell me I’m fucked up but you don’t sex wives with yuur best friends because it’s fuckin awkward . I’m not bragging so please don’t misinterpret my wife is attractive so people don’t think good looking girls don’t have sex . At least my teenage brain thinks that , if you’re good looking you’re having sex and I think that’s a dumb assumption because it’s not true . A few of my friends have intimated that sad is non existent and my comment to them is that if I’m lucky enough to hook up I’ll deal with it and my buddy confessed to me that he did hook up and he witnessed me hook up with a girl so there is a large population of men who are underserved . Which I know you guys realize bud I woods venture to say that most of us are in the same boat . Soeey did the long diatribe ! This helps me share and get shit off my chest as too many of us are repressed . I want to scream at my wife every day but it’s. It healthy
 

Don Hollinger

Registered Member
Messages: 428
Reviews: 7
Joined
#57
This is a very helpful sharing . I’m in my mid forties and i never I’m a million fuckin years thought I’d be paying for pussy in my forties. I’m cAtholic and I confess periodically so that’s how I deal with the guilt . I have friends who are in the same boat as me but they have no outlet besides porn which is great but there is nothing like the real deal . I wish I could gel them to do this but my best friends would destroy me , they would definitely tell me I’m fucked up but you don’t sex wives with yuur best friends because it’s fuckin awkward . I’m not bragging so please don’t misinterpret my wife is attractive so people don’t think good looking girls don’t have sex . At least my teenage brain thinks that , if you’re good looking you’re having sex and I think that’s a dumb assumption because it’s not true . A few of my friends have intimated that sad is non existent and my comment to them is that if I’m lucky enough to hook up I’ll deal with it and my buddy confessed to me that he did hook up and he witnessed me hook up with a girl so there is a large population of men who are underserved . Which I know you guys realize bud I woods venture to say that most of us are in the same boat . Soeey did the long diatribe ! This helps me share and get shit off my chest as too many of us are repressed . I want to scream at my wife every day but it’s. It healthy
I'm a Catholic as well, and suffer no guilt whatsoever. I love and respect clergy for the most part but the advice to pray more from ordained, voluntary celibates just doesn't work.


I'd rather take advice from fellow mongers. We've made sensible lifestyle choices that uptight civvie guys drool over.
Sure, there are some competitive and immature nitwits on this site but for the most part there are thoughtful men who've found a way to feel good about life this way. And for the most part there's support and little to no judgement about safe, consensual sex.
 

br2k

Registered Member
Messages: 679
Reviews: 18
Joined
#58
I'm a Catholic as well, and suffer no guilt whatsoever. I love and respect clergy for the most part but the advice to pray more from ordained, voluntary celibates just doesn't work.


I'd rather take advice from fellow mongers. We've made sensible lifestyle choices that uptight civvie guys drool over.
Sure, there are some competitive and immature nitwits on this site but for the most part there are thoughtful men who've found a way to feel good about life this way. And for the most part there's support and little to no judgement about safe, consensual sex.
I subscribe to the separation between church and amps
 

transtemporal

Registered Member
Messages: 42
Reviews: 6
Joined
#59
Eloquent and direct.

We all have our reasons for going out. We are a variety of ages, in different phases of relationships (or not in one at the moment).

I can't imagine any benefit to my wife or myself for wrecking the marriage by having a conversation---we're in our mid 60's. I'd rather lead a secret life schtupping around than be the schmuck who confesses to his wife--that's just me.

She can't complete the act due to health reasons. My companions actually keep the marriage together. They 'prevent' me from pursuing relationships with civvies by giving me what I want--including companionship and a professional friendship.

A younger man may have other motivations like you stated. My 30 year old self would have had a real hard time maintaining anything with a civvie SO, with the allure of hot escorts on the side.

Your point about your "personality that you cannot just suppress" resonates with me. And paid companions tap into that need quite effectively. No matter what age we are.
I agree 100%. Married 19 years and my wife said fuck other women if you want, just don't let me know about it. Since sex was not as good as it used to be, and not as often, I took her up on that. I tried pursuing a civvie extra relationship, but that never worked out. I realized, even if it did work out, the ligistics would be a mess. Going to an AMP solves these problems. I still love my wife, but could not live just being monogamous to her. I feel healthier this way, and less stress than having a real 2nd secret relationship.
 

Left

Review Contributor
Messages: 1,311
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#60
I agree 100%. Married 19 years and my wife said fuck other women if you want, just don't let me know about it. Since sex was not as good as it used to be, and not as often, I took her up on that. I tried pursuing a civvie extra relationship, but that never worked out. I realized, even if it did work out, the ligistics would be a mess. Going to an AMP solves these problems. I still love my wife, but could not live just being monogamous to her. I feel healthier this way, and less stress than having a real 2nd secret relationship.
Wow bless her !
 
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