It’s really not great to look back a decade or more. Different times. If it doesn’t happen much now that you are older…. You are kind of making my point for me. It’s not your age. It’s how it is for most guys who aren’t in the top 5%. They get… nothing.
It sounds like even back in the day- you were the one putting in most of the effort and having to chase down women and essentially beg them to like you.
Again- you are making my point for me. In this day and age of “equality” why isn’t equally the woman’s job?
Ya know there are men who are chased by women- they are again- the top 5%. So in summary I feel like everything you’ve written above confirms what I’ve said.
Also, I was doing all this just a few years ago and it worked just fine with multiple women, a few of which were in their 30s.
One was mid-twenties but honestly, I wasn't in the mood to
Where did I say chatting with a woman is begging?
However it quickly becomes begging when you persist and she isn’t showing any interest.
Example: saw a cute woman this weekend. Struck up a conversation. I made the first move. But I quickly noticed I was asking her questions about herself and she wasn’t asking me anything; even when it was obvious she should have been. She liked the attention and she liked the smell of her own farts. But she didn’t like me. It was obvious 5 minutes in. I moved along.
The simp is the one who keeps that going. The simp is the one who asks for her number. After that.
That’s the point I’m making. If a woman is into you; you might have to set the hook but she will put in the effort. Period. All this chasing is not good.
And the point I'm making is that you see what you expect to see in any interaction with a woman (or more to the point what you consider to be too much effort) is based in large part on your views of women in general.
In the air between her words and your ears is the filter of all the ridiculous and self destructive things you believe about women. This filter only lets you see the things that run with what you already believe and blocks out anything that doesn't match what you already believe.
I've definitely had conversations with women who talked mostly about themselves. Sometimes it was because they were self centered but sometimes it was because they were nervous or trying to impress me because they thought I was "out of their league".
So I kept talking to them to see which one of these it was. More importantly, over time I learned how to talk to women in order to find out what they were really like (and equally important how to make them more attracted to me while I was talking to them. Skills only come with effort! lol)
Sometimes the woman I was talking to was just self centered, but more often it was one of the other two.
And those cases where they weren't just self centered lead to some very fun times with some very sweet women.
But I would have never even given these women a chance if I believed the things you do about women and about yourself!
If I believed as you do that the vast majority of women are only attracted to the top 5% of men that excludes me,I would never have considered the possiblity that these women I was attracted to might be nervous and trying to impress me because they thought I was out of their league!
I heard what they were saying but I didn't reach an immediate conclusion that it meant they were self centered because I didn't already have the background believes that you have about women.
Instead I thought about all the times I talked about myself too much because I was nervous or wanted to impress someone I thought was "better than me."
You think that how you view women only speaks to your beliefs about them and how they treat you.
But these beliefs say way more about how you view yourself and how you are likely to interact with women.
Every time you believe that the vast majority of women, specifically the women you are attracted to, are only attracted to the top 5% of men, you are also believing that the vast majority of attractive women would not be attracted to you or want you to start talking to them.
Every time you believe that most women think about themselves and men the way you think they do, you limit yourself in terms of what you think is the normal effort required to get to know a woman and what is way too much trouble.
From what you've said it's pretty clear you think I've gone to way too much trouble when it comes to women.
But I'm healthy, financially secure, have good friends, enjoy hobbies, and (hopefully) not addicted to anything.
Most importantly, I'm not lonely. I have times when I am lonely, but in general I have real people I that I love and see regularly because we like spending time with each other and care about each other.
I am very lucky to have these things, but I can tell you that they all took work to maintain. Lovely work, but still work.
And my romantic relationships are some of the good things I work to have and keep in my life.
If I've managed to keep all these and still have good romantic relationships with civvie women, then how can you say that I am begging or trying too hard with women?
If the effort I put into meeting and pursuing romantic relationships with women was truly as excessive and demeaning as you believe, then why hasn't it had a negative effect on the rest of my life? More importantly, why have these efforts only added to my general contentment?
And since I am definitely not in the top 5% of men and have met many other non-5% men (which again, absolutely nonsensical category) who also have good relationships, what makes you so sure that we are the exception to your beliefs as opposed to questioning your beliefs?
