AMP Reviews
  • You asked and we delivered! AMPReviews now provides the option to upgrade to VIP access via paid subscription as an alternative to writing your own reviews. VIP Access allows you to read all the hidden content within member-submitted reviews AND gives access to private VIP-only forums in each city. You can upgrade your account INSTANTLY by visiting the Account Upgrades page in your own user profile and using a valid credit card to purchase a subscription. You can get to this page by clicking the link in any review, by clicking the red "See the Details Now" banner on the home page, and by clicking the Purchase Private Details link in the navbar at the top of every page

Funny/Strange/Weird stories

teriyakitsunami

Registered Member
Messages: 64
Reviews: 6
Joined
#43
Interesting between-pops conversation but one girl asked me if I knew any tips for helper her shit, apparently she hasn't gone in three days and it was really backed up. I forget how I responded.

Another girl didn't have an appointment after mine and decided to make me food I had somewhere to be but she wasn't really giving me a chance to leave so I stayed to be nice. She fed me this sweet Korean tofu skin wrapper with rice inside. Was terrible TBH and I was trying my best not to gag and made excuses like I just ate before the session, not hungry, etc. Never went back after that.

A while ago, when my phone was one of the older Samsung Galaxies with actual LED indicators, including blinking red on low battery, it must've been poking out of my pants which I tossed onto a chair and it caught the girl's attention, she freaked and was like "what's this, what's this?" thinking I was recording us, had to convince her otherwise.

The first time I ever went to an AAMP, it was a mindfuck because the address they gave me was my last apartment. Sat there looking at my phone like "is this for real? am I being fucked with somehow?" The very popular place in San Mateo and just three doors down from where I lived. Never had any idea before that.
 

firstattack

Registered Member
Messages: 32
Joined
#44
Saw an ATF I had a few years ago and we were done with the deed and was doing the second shower before getting changed. She opened the door to the bathroom and forgot her roommate had a session going on who just finished up with a shower. They usually knock for situations like this. I look up and saw the other guy...we made eye contact and I'm sure I looked like a deer in the headlights, but am thankful I didn't recognize the guy and he didn't recognize me (seriously, who knows..I found out one of my wife's friends mongers because he was dumb enough to use the same screenname for everything...).
 

dragon_on_the_floor

Registered Member
Messages: 75
Reviews: 4
Joined
#45
Interesting between-pops conversation but one girl asked me if I knew any tips for helper her shit, apparently she hasn't gone in three days and it was really backed up. I forget how I responded.
Would have been a great opportunity to try to get some greek action going. Although on second thought, maybe not.

The first time I ever went to an AAMP, it was a mindfuck because the address they gave me was my last apartment. Sat there looking at my phone like "is this for real? am I being fucked with somehow?" The very popular place in San Mateo and just three doors down from where I lived. Never had any idea before that.
Would have been even better if it was the exact same apartment. Although 3 doors down is really close enough. Too bad you didn't still live there, you could have hung out with them.
 

roundtwo123

Registered Member
Messages: 13
Joined
#48
One more?
4. Green tea with Mamasan. I went to a place in South SF right off a Bart station. I’d been there before and had doubles with others there. I went and saw they had two younger hotties and I asked not for doubles but to see one then take a break and see the other. I met with the first. Went to the shared shower they both used afterwards, got dressed then sat in the kitchen in the back with the mamasan and she handed me a cup of green tea while she smoked and watched tv. Junior was ready for another round. I looked at her and nodded and she took me to the next. In between rooms, I was now the only one there and the first saw that I was coming out of the shower with the second. She smiled at me and gave me the thumbs up. The second didn’t know why. Finished with the second and mamasan and the first were sitting in the kitchen together watching tv. I sat with them both again, and the three us were sitting drinking tea when the first shows up and is like wtf?! Hell, by now I was considering having a round with the mamasan herself. Lol.
 

roundtwo123

Registered Member
Messages: 13
Joined
#49
5. You look familiar - I had recently divorced and had the need so I drove out of town a ways to avoid running into any one I might know. This was still CL days and was hoping for a freebie hookup or provider in disguise using the site. I get the latter. I meet with this woman at her hotel room. She opens the door and all is well and then we talk and we realize she’s a parent at the same school where I’m a parent. We are from the same town. She drove way out of town like me to avoid running into someone she knows. I saw this woman at school events for years and neither of us ever told anyone (at least I didn’t until here and even then no names). I sent her a text and said “one more time?” She said “ok”. That was then the last time. I just wanted to enjoy another round with her now that I knew she was a working single mom from the same school.
 

Jayk4

Registered Member
Messages: 2
Joined
#50
Would have been a great opportunity to try to get some greek action going. Although on second thought, maybe not.



Would have been even better if it was the exact same apartment. Although 3 doors down is really close enough. Too bad you didn't still live there, you could have hung out with them.
I too lived there. It was a surprise for me as well.
 

Mandingo1969

Registered Member
Messages: 447
Reviews: 13
Joined
#52
Before relocating to bay area, I lived in NYC for about 6 years. One time I tried out some old old white GILF. Turned out she had a terrible body but she only charged like a C note for all inclusive service and at the time NYC didn't have many reliable review sites, just CL (before CL reputation was destroyed) and maybe BP for ads mainly. Anyway, it turned out she was terrible at FS just cause body was awful but she had possibly the best DT skills I have encountered since she could remove her dentures! I found out she was computer illiterate and couldn't post her own ads. For the next couple of years I worked it out for her to come over to give me free DT gummings with full swallow in exchange for just posting her ads on CL. I think she was a functioning alcoholic and/drug addict as well as a senior with no safety net. I always wonder what became of her as that was 15+ years ago.
Sounds like good Ole nasty Patty
 

Cool_Jazz

Registered Member
Messages: 279
Reviews: 12
Joined
#53
I was with Kandi (VF) and we were resting after our exercise listening to her music. A song from Ed Sheeran was playing and we were both singing/humming to the song. I asked Kandi so you like Ed Sheeran? Kandi said "Yes! I like this song." I showed her a picture of him and she quickly said "Eew he is ugly!" I just laughed and she did too. I miss Kandi.
 

aztec45

Registered Member
Messages: 31
Reviews: 3
Joined
#55
I mean, what did you expect? Rainbows and skittles to come out? Lol, but thanks for the story, got me laughing so hard reading this haha. Same thing happened to me but it was with my ex gf.
I was eating lunch while reading this story. I kid you not, I squirter soup out of my nose from the shock, disgust and laughter combined!! Literal holy shit!!
 

aztec45

Registered Member
Messages: 31
Reviews: 3
Joined
#56
Before relocating to bay area, I lived in NYC for about 6 years. One time I tried out some old old white GILF. Turned out she had a terrible body but she only charged like a C note for all inclusive service and at the time NYC didn't have many reliable review sites, just CL (before CL reputation was destroyed) and maybe BP for ads mainly. Anyway, it turned out she was terrible at FS just cause body was awful but she had possibly the best DT skills I have encountered since she could remove her dentures! I found out she was computer illiterate and couldn't post her own ads. For the next couple of years I worked it out for her to come over to give me free DT gummings with full swallow in exchange for just posting her ads on CL. I think she was a functioning alcoholic and/drug addict as well as a senior with no safety net. I always wonder what became of her as that was 15+ years ago.
I need to find me a GILF like that ... could teach them how to mine bitcoin and work the market on Robinhood. Get some free DT all the while helping their retirement
 

aztec45

Registered Member
Messages: 31
Reviews: 3
Joined
#57
My MIL is a mere ten years older than me and smoking hot still, but I hear you.
My MIL is ugly as hell, but loaded with cash (one main reason I'm still married and don't plan to divorce my bitch of a wife ). Also, I know she is into me. She'll pass by me and rubs my head ... wants to tickle me all the time, and occasionally I catch her watching me from a distance. She also constantly tells me how awful I'm being treated by my wife.

So, no lie, I fantasize that one night we are both alone, drunk as hell, and get her to drop $10K for a night of pleasure. I would do it in a heartbeat (and I think she would too!)
 

Rotf

Registered Member
Messages: 28
Joined
#58
This was several years back when I was relatively brand new. The girl at the window sees I pulled out slightly more than the HF, and says basically, gimme. The little head gives in. A woman dressed like she was going to church escorts me to one of many rooms. I ask if there’s a TS, she says, end of hall. It looked like something from The Shawshank Redemption, and leaking everywhere. After waiting for her or someone to do their thing, church lady comes in exasperated, saying mockingly, you not finish yet? Hurry up, and she leaves.

After a quick self wash, I come back into the hallway and realize I forgot what room she had initially put me in. I begin to panic as their little towel isn’t covering much and I’m dripping all over the hallway. Finally, I see one door ajar and figured that must be it. It takes me two seconds to realize I'm in the wrong room, and the clock is ticking. Moments later church lady barges in, that not your room, she says, smacks me on the arm and starts cracking up. She pulls me back into the hallway while crouched low, I crouch low too (like I’m in some damn Scooby Doo mystery), expecting some monger to run into us any second.

Finally, we’re in the right room and she goes straight to the price for the top menu item. I counter with what I will pay, and she angrily (from being sweet a moment ago) insists again on almost triple that, pulling on my arm. At that point I smile and calimly put my underwear and pants back on. She begins to plead, almost like a child at the mall, I know you have money. Smiling, I put on my shirt and begin to button it.

She begins to pout and then unbuttons my shirt. I start to re-button, and she asks, why you leave? I tell her with a smile, because you ain't actin’ right. She unbuttons my shirt again, and then grabs below and asks, how you leave like this? I told her well, you aren’t interested... Before I could finish she undresses, takes my offer, and make up for lost time with a great session including a trip downtown (clean as a whistle), all the while checking the video screens.
 

JDog831

Registered Member
Messages: 51
Joined
#59
This happened recently when I saw Zuri.

Apparently she used to work at a nail salon. On my way out of a session, I had stubbed my toe slightly, but it hurt more than usual. We both took a look at it and it turns out I had an nail starting to dig into my toe. She had me sit down and I had a toe manicure on the spot lol.
 

Rooster57

Registered Member
Messages: 56
Reviews: 1
Joined
#60
Several years ago I was seeing a new provider for the first time and the session was GREAT and we were clicking on the communication level
and we were very comfortably
sexually in sync.

We were at about the 45 minute mark and I asked her to jump off and give me some more blowjob action and she eagerly obliged.

I could feel my climax approaching and her skills were awesome.
I could tell I was gonna be unleashing a monster so in the middle of my oohhhs and aaahhs I asked her
“CAN I CUM IN YOUR MOUTH?
but she didn’t answer.

Over the course of the next 2 minutes or so I asked a couple of more times but still with receiving a response.

By this time I can feel the freight train picking up speed and getting ready to fly out of the tunnel.

In one final attempt I ask again with more enthusiasm and this time she nods YES !!! and in the wink of an eye
I let go this monster load into her mouth.........

You’d think I had just punched her in the head.

She screamed, jumped off the bed and dashed into the bathroom and I could hear her in there cursing and throwing shit around.

I’M THINK I’M IN DEEP SHIP AND MIGHT BE GETTING MYSELF BANNED FROM EVERY ORG. IN A THOUSAND MILES.

After a couple of minutes she comes out and continues raging at me in a mix of Korean and broken English.

Fortunately for me she spoke fairly good English and once I got her settled down I was able to explain myself and before long we were both laughing it off.

I saw her several times more before she retired and she was my go to girl for quite a while but that was the only time I busted in her mouth.
 
Top