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Confident but silent

Don Hollinger

Registered Member
Messages: 432
Reviews: 7
Joined
#21
Confidence comes from knowing one's self
I believe that you need to have communication with women. Have a genuine conversation and make her laugh and you’re good to go. (y)
...They've seen every signature move of ours, heard every compliment. Even the newer ones can see through our bullshit, it's better just to be one's self, whatever that is.
But making her laugh and relax is the key to creating a nice connection that sustains a professional friendship.

In a session I would steer clear of any reference to a movie from 70 years ago. Unless she's a confirmed "High Noon" geek. If she's into cinematography a good opening gambit would be that aerial shot that pulls back just before the gunfight. Will Kane is alone, scared, but down. He's afraid, but fuck it, here I go.

The whole Red Scare theme, the US being the reluctant sheriff to the world...don't go there, esp with Chinese and Korean gals who might have differing opinions.

She might be able to relate to the Katy Jurado character, the town whore who's one rich chingona.
 

Onecroissant

Registered Member
Messages: 315
Reviews: 18
Joined
#22
Some low key love it when you roast other providers
I'm no guru but telling them they're essentially better than other girls is more effective than a straight compliment
 

Wayne1250

Review Contributor
Messages: 11,115
Reviews: 96
Joined
#23
Yes, it gives them a chance to show their humble side. My current favorite gets a little embarrassed when I tell he thatr she is number 1 in Philly. The thing is, she is no doubt the best and she can make all of her customers feel like a king.
 

Doubleyellow

Registered Member
Messages: 919
Reviews: 21
Joined
#24
Confidence comes from knowing one's self


...They've seen every signature move of ours, heard every compliment. Even the newer ones can see through our bullshit, it's better just to be one's self, whatever that is.
But making her laugh and relax is the key to creating a nice connection that sustains a professional friendship.

In a session I would steer clear of any reference to a movie from 70 years ago. Unless she's a confirmed "High Noon" geek. If she's into cinematography a good opening gambit would be that aerial shot that pulls back just before the gunfight. Will Kane is alone, scared, but down. He's afraid, but fuck it, here I go.

The whole Red Scare theme, the US being the reluctant sheriff to the world...don't go there, esp with Chinese and Korean gals who might have differing opinions.

She might be able to relate to the Katy Jurado character, the town whore who's one rich chingona.
they know what we are going to say and do before we do.
 

Nylnlst

Registered Member
Messages: 573
Reviews: 16
Joined
#27
I’m 5-7 train at the gym with some hotties in the am. Over the summer I noticed this real sexy confident looking woman, hot body, wearing make up also, I am very outgoing and I can strike up a conversation anytime if the setting is right. I walk up to her and tell her how beautiful she is in my own words and she responds well and we talk. Many days go by and I consistently flirt and feel the vibe, I even sort of purposely let her see my weekend car and she responds about that. All I need to do now is get her # which seems easy. Moral here is personality and playing the game of knowing when to quite down and not act interested.
well how this played out is ………………. I have an SO, wife ! I do want this woman and I think the shot is there, she asked me to train her today after I mentioned it yesterday but DAMN I cant move forward bcz the SO will catch me, also my ring is on while I’m always with this woman, no comment yet. Anyway AMPS are the way to go, easy, fast and no commitment. (Still not sure how this gym girl will go or how I should proceed) any comments or suggestions ?
 

Doubleyellow

Registered Member
Messages: 919
Reviews: 21
Joined
#28
I’m 5-7 train at the gym with some hotties in the am. Over the summer I noticed this real sexy confident looking woman, hot body, wearing make up also, I am very outgoing and I can strike up a conversation anytime if the setting is right. I walk up to her and tell her how beautiful she is in my own words and she responds well and we talk. Many days go by and I consistently flirt and feel the vibe, I even sort of purposely let her see my weekend car and she responds about that. All I need to do now is get her # which seems easy. Moral here is personality and playing the game of knowing when to quite down and not act interested.
well how this played out is ………………. I have an SO, wife ! I do want this woman and I think the shot is there, she asked me to train her today after I mentioned it yesterday but DAMN I cant move forward bcz the SO will catch me, also my ring is on while I’m always with this woman, no comment yet. Anyway AMPS are the way to go, easy, fast and no commitment. (Still not sure how this gym girl will go or how I should proceed) any comments or suggestions ?
if you show me your weekend car maybe I‘ll let you train me. ;)
 

jim_hatez

Moderator
Messages: 1,913
Reviews: 175
Joined
#30
I have an SO, wife ! I do want this woman and I think the shot is there, she asked me to train her today after I mentioned it yesterday but DAMN I cant move forward bcz the SO will catch me, also my ring is on while I’m always with this woman, no comment yet. Anyway AMPS are the way to go, easy, fast and no commitment. (Still not sure how this gym girl will go or how I should proceed) any comments or suggestions ?
Just my 2 cents but isn't that too risky? If you work out there, she can easily find out your real name. Even if she is down for fucking a married guy, this opens you up to blackmail or her fucking with your life/destroying it if she decides to flake. Unless I'm missing something, this seems like a bad move... That said, only you know your situation. I've had women flirt with me at the gym and while I flirt back I would never do anything. Way too easy for them to make my life a living hell if they decide to. Sure, most wouldn't, but loose ends are a risk I prefer not to take. YMMV
 

Nylnlst

Registered Member
Messages: 573
Reviews: 16
Joined
#31
Gotcha brother, i hear you loud and clear and all too true, ive been down the aisle twice already, first one ended bcz of lust, if i continue down this same path the second one will end the same way (you think I would’ve learned my lesson) This lust thing destroys, i realize that oh too well. I met her last summer and she comes and goes so i dont see her that often but i guess the good news here is i have not pulled the trigger (yet) but we’ll see what happens. My head says no but you know who says go for it, i think I’ll continue to be my flirtatious self but then again im all talk at this point.
Again this is why amps are great, in and out with no ties.
Great advise Jim, we’ll received thanks
 

PorterD

Registered Member
Messages: 912
Reviews: 1
Joined
#32
Also depends on what you are looking for. Hookup? Side gf? Or new wife. The first two are risky. With the second one being most risky.

I actually would never lead in with a “you are beautiful” since most pretty women know they are pretty and get it like 20 times a day. But on the flip side you made your romantic interest known at hello. So I guess it can work too.
 

charliebrown

Review Contributor
Messages: 2,753
Reviews: 179
Joined
#33
Some women will talk with a married man because there is zero risk for her. You probably will not ask her out and even if you did, she could easily say no because you are married. I am a married older man and therefore there is little threat of me asking a college girl out. I talk you young beautiful college women in the gym all the time. They are safe and I enjoy the entertainment. If one ever asked about a SB arrangement, I would have the think about that for a very long time. used to take me microseconds to make up my mind and now it is taking milliseconds.
 

PorterD

Registered Member
Messages: 912
Reviews: 1
Joined
#34
I learned one thing today. I always thought asking women out at the gym was a no no. I guess not. I’ve been to the gym a lot recently and the women are so hot and I got a smile and a hi from one; but I just let it go by based on the unwritten rule. Maybe I need to rethink this.
 

jim_hatez

Moderator
Messages: 1,913
Reviews: 175
Joined
#35
Gotcha brother, i hear you loud and clear and all too true, ive been down the aisle twice already, first one ended bcz of lust, if i continue down this same path the second one will end the same way (you think I would’ve learned my lesson) This lust thing destroys, i realize that oh too well. I met her last summer and she comes and goes so i dont see her that often but i guess the good news here is i have not pulled the trigger (yet) but we’ll see what happens. My head says no but you know who says go for it, i think I’ll continue to be my flirtatious self but then again im all talk at this point.
Again this is why amps are great, in and out with no ties.
Great advise Jim, we’ll received thanks
Anytime. I've been marred about 20 yrs. I only did amps/agencies except 1 time. I had a co-worker who constantly hit on me, and she was married as well. She broke down my defenses by keep telling me oh don't worry I won't tell mine if you don't tell yours. Well I caved. Started with a HJ, went to BJs in the office, I did DATY once.. lots of hooking up/making out shit that didn't go all the way or ended with BJ/HJ.

Then eventually she told me it had to end because her husband was suspicious. And what I didn't know at the time (this is kinda hilarious actually now, wasn't then) is the guy was some kind of crazy ninja, like not a regular martial arts practitioner he was like into advanced sword fighting and all kinda crazy. At first I thought oh who cares then she showed me some videos of his competitions and this guy was the real deal.

I thought ok cool, it will end, I obviously don't want any guy coming for me especially someone like this that one of us won't get out of there alive (probably me lol). Well fast forward a couple weeks, she apparently still wanted to be with me, telling me it's bad at home and I should leave my wife for her. Well I wasn't prepared to do that at all obviously and told her I can't.

Welp you probably guessed it she comes to me and tells me she told her husband everything. Supposedly he didn't want to confront me or do anything (although I was obviously nervous as hell about this) and she kept making threats to call my wife.

Luckily for whatever reason she never decided to go through with it and neither did her husband. Years later she happened to hit me up on social and told me she had gotten divorced, and for the first time in her life she is happy, dating tons of guys (she wasn't super hot but hot enough, and loved sexual shit) that she thought she could never have. So in the end she got to a better place and my shit didn't get blown up.

It was that day I swore to myself never again will I have a civvy affair. Unless I can completely hide my identity which I don't think is possible to be honest. AMPs and agencies aren't perfect, but unless you want out of your relationship, they are the far better option.

Take care,

jim
 

TIskier

Review Contributor
Messages: 1,107
Reviews: 9
Joined
#36
Anytime. I've been marred about 20 yrs. I only did amps/agencies except 1 time. I had a co-worker who constantly hit on me, and she was married as well. She broke down my defenses by keep telling me oh don't worry I won't tell mine if you don't tell yours. Well I caved. Started with a HJ, went to BJs in the office, I did DATY once.. lots of hooking up/making out shit that didn't go all the way or ended with BJ/HJ.

Then eventually she told me it had to end because her husband was suspicious. And what I didn't know at the time (this is kinda hilarious actually now, wasn't then) is the guy was some kind of crazy ninja, like not a regular martial arts practitioner he was like into advanced sword fighting and all kinda crazy. At first I thought oh who cares then she showed me some videos of his competitions and this guy was the real deal.

I thought ok cool, it will end, I obviously don't want any guy coming for me especially someone like this that one of us won't get out of there alive (probably me lol). Well fast forward a couple weeks, she apparently still wanted to be with me, telling me it's bad at home and I should leave my wife for her. Well I wasn't prepared to do that at all obviously and told her I can't.

Welp you probably guessed it she comes to me and tells me she told her husband everything. Supposedly he didn't want to confront me or do anything (although I was obviously nervous as hell about this) and she kept making threats to call my wife.

Luckily for whatever reason she never decided to go through with it and neither did her husband. Years later she happened to hit me up on social and told me she had gotten divorced, and for the first time in her life she is happy, dating tons of guys (she wasn't super hot but hot enough, and loved sexual shit) that she thought she could never have. So in the end she got to a better place and my shit didn't get blown up.

It was that day I swore to myself never again will I have a civvy affair. Unless I can completely hide my identity which I don't think is possible to be honest. AMPs and agencies aren't perfect, but unless you want out of your relationship, they are the far better option.

Take care,

jim

So…. You never banged. You DATY once and everything else was Bj/HJ? Excuse me but what exactly was in it for her? Carpel tunnel & TMJ? ;p
 

jim_hatez

Moderator
Messages: 1,913
Reviews: 175
Joined
#37
So…. You never banged. You DATY once and everything else was Bj/HJ? Excuse me but what exactly was in it for her? Carpel tunnel & TMJ? ;p
Hahahah. Well, I think she really actually liked me, and was more concerned with getting me off. Based on the shit she said she was horny almost all the time and had lots of toys etc. Plus I think she was hoping she could get me to start an LTR with her which would have led to plenty of sex I'm sure. She was one of the horniest women I ever knew on the civvy side, I never came onto her, totally the other way around. And I ignored it several times in the beginning acting like I didn't get what she was saying to me (feign ignorance on my part).

Of course we all have certain regrets, and I do wish I got to bang her a few times, but... despite her high drive I didn't have feelings for her beyond sex. So in a way I didn't push for the FS because I thought that would complicate things even more. Yea there is a lot of rationalization there but hindsight always 20/20.

I'm just lucky I didn't lose it all or worse... have some madman chop me to bits lol.
 
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