Confession?

[KittyHawk]

Tell the priest that you feel worse about cheating on you Asian milf whore girl friend than you do for cheating on your wife.

I am actually in that position because my atf has awakened things in me that I thought were long gone. My wife slammed the door shut on them years ago. I know it's a dangerous position to be in since I know very little about her. She could have a dozen other guys on the hook but I intend to enjoy it while it lasts.

 

[KittyHawk]

hat the few hours I spend a month in the embrace of a companion makes me right with the world, enables me to put up with pretty much everything that comes my way

Amen!!

 

[kgirler]

Amen!!

After reading the many good replies to this thread, I realize I don’t feel guilty about anything. I must be a sociopath.

Or just a horny old man looking to atone for too many years of unfulfilling marital sex.

 

[AutomaticSlim]

Without getting into explicit detail, I have not been to confession in a long (long) time. However, the idea popped into my head today. And I am still considering it, though not sure if, or when, I might go. Right now, I'm leaning toward no.

If it happens, the confession would almost be entirely about my mongering. I'm not afraid of telling the priest about it. I'm sure he would keep it confidential. And, actually, if I do go, I'd specifically pick a church I'd never been to before. I'd be going just to tell my story and see what the priest has to say. The big dilemma for me is that I'm not at all sorry for what I've done. Nor do I plan to stop. And that kind of negates the value of confession and is probably a waste of everyone's time. He may even think I'm trying to mock him. Plus, adultery is a mortal sin and I really don't want to hear about how I'm going to Hell (on some fundamental level, that still makes me nervous).

So here is my question: Has anyone confessed their mongering exploits (in confidence) to a priest or other religious (or even secular) counselor? If so, what was their reaction? What was their advice? How did it make you feel? Did you hold anything back? Do you regret it?

The floor is open.

I have recently been seriously considering going to confession. A friend of mine told me that if I do, I should bring a brown bag lunch and a sixpack. He is not far off. Haven't been since I was 17.
I am thinking I will need to make an appointment.

 

[AutomaticSlim]

If you don't believe or want to hear about your sins. Why not just speak to God??

If you believe in God, speak to him directly. No need for a priest.

In my case, I would go to the Priest because I am Catholic. No matter how lapsed I have become, I am still Catholic. Nothing will ever change that.

 

[AutomaticSlim]

After reading the many good replies to this thread, I realize I don’t feel guilty about anything. I must be a sociopath.

Or just a horny old man looking to atone for too many years of unfulfilling marital sex.

"Sociopath"...I've been called that many times in my life. My mother was the first one I ever heard that word from.

 

[AutomaticSlim]

I regret telling a couple of my civvie friends of my mongering. They in turn told their wives. Which got me declared permanently persona non grata.

Silence is golden, my friend.

Everyone knows what I do. I just don't care

 

[njlefty]

Everyone knows what I do. I just don't care

At this stage of my life, I don't care either. My regret was telling a few others. It was not necessary and it would have been preferable just to keep my mouth shut. What I do is no matter to others, and vice versa.

 

[VJLUTZ]

At this stage of my life, I don't care either. My regret was telling a few others. It was not necessary and it would have been preferable just to keep my mouth shut. What I do is no matter to others, and vice versa.

I am mostly an introvert, but keeping all my exploits (& related feelings) bottled up inside is still difficult. As far as I know, those who know me in person have no inkling of my double life. On the contrary, some of my friends and colleagues think I am a cynical, world weary guy who no longer cares about the opposite sex, or sex in general. Outside these boards and some on WeChat, I don't confide in anyone about this. I am just afraid to. I am also very reluctant to meet fellow mongers in person. Frankly, if it weren't for the outlet these boards provide, not sure I'd be able to hold it all in. And that would be very bad indeed.

 

[haaretz]

I was brought up Episcopal but have left that church, and Christianity to convert to Buddhism. I’m not prosletyzing, but one of the big reasons I left was all these rituals, traditions, beliefs that are not part of Christ’s teaching, along with a few fundamental observations about the lack of moral behavior between proponents major religions (hypocrisy)
But when I got involved with Buddhism I did have a major set of discussions with a couple Buddhist priests about my life and the things I’ve done. But it was much more of a back and forth conversation than I’d imagine one with a catholic priest would go. The priests big concern wasn’t paying for sex, it was the question of whether it devalued the other person in the transaction. Of course I am not married, so no judgement there. But anyway Buddhism isn’t a sort of spy system like the church is with the priest as some sort of intermediary between god and a person. So my lessons weren’t valuable for you except to say I felt better talking about it to someone and I feel my life is in good balance. So if I was going to do it, I’d do it outside the ridiculous trappings of the confessional and just go talk to a priest you like.

Great point. This has nothing to do with Christ at all, whose relationship with Mary Magdalene and others who were imperfect folks, made the Bible a book that many can relate to. I feel that most priests have a prescriptive remedy for such things, which mirrors that coming from feminists: don't do it, abstain, yada yada (and a heavy dose of prayer, the case of a priest). Which ignores the root causes of our mongering.

No disrespect intended to religious types or feminists for that matter.

 

[Anonajohn]

I think what I really want is to discuss it face-to-face with a real person.

I was going to suggest have a couple beers with a fellow monger, since they would be likely be the only ones to relate without judging, but then I saw your later post about your reluctance of that very thing.... Rock and a hard place.

 

[Anonajohn]

I regret telling a couple of my civvie friends of my mongering. They in turn told their wives. Which got me declared permanently persona non grata.

Silence is golden, my friend.

I told one longtime friend about some (not all) of my exploits, but I know he'd never tell. Let's say I know where the bodies are buried that he wouldn't want his wife to know about. Good friends can keep each other's secrets.

 

[njlefty]

I am mostly an introvert, but keeping all my exploits (& related feelings) bottled up inside is still difficult. As far as I know, those who know me in person have no inkling of my double life. On the contrary, some of my friends and colleagues think I am a cynical, world weary guy who no longer cares about the opposite sex, or sex in general. Outside these boards and some on WeChat, I don't confide in anyone about this. I am just afraid to. I am also very reluctant to meet fellow mongers in person. Frankly, if it weren't for the outlet these boards provide, not sure I'd be able to hold it all in. And that would be very bad indeed.

One thing that has helped me is contact with fellow mongers, but not so much the meeting aspect. I'm not a fan of that either. But I trade friendly e mails with a couple of mongers. It's almost like a modern version of what used to be called "pen pal." We discuss all things, not just the mongering stuff. Friendly banter of interests, family, doings, plans. This is a good outlet and helpful to me, and I think it might be helpful to you as well.

 

[East Lake II]

One thing that has helped me is contact with fellow mongers, but not so much the meeting aspect. I'm not a fan of that either. But I trade friendly e mails with a couple of mongers. It's almost like a modern version of what used to be called "pen pal." We discuss all things, not just the mongering stuff. Friendly banter of interests, family, doings, plans. This is a good outlet and helpful to me, and I think it might be helpful to you as well.

Same here

 

[Rignes]

As a non-believer I find this thread interesting. It just seems strange going to an organization that been involved in decades long controversy for doing things that are arguable way worse than visiting a prostitute from time to time and asking it for forgiveness.

I mean, don't get me wrong, you guys all do what is best for you but I'd say to keep your hobby close to the vest. The less anyone else knows the better.

 

[Chiparlor]

In continuance of confession, my children knows my hobby. I trust them completely to talk about it because they understand what I went through and where I am coming from.

My dialogues with them makes me feel better and I trust them more than any other family members and friends.

Both of them met my Asian lady. As of right now, I have three trusting humans to talk about it. My Asian lady believe talking to Trinity of God is the best avenue to seek guidance.

Example: Go to a neutral place such as putting a tree stand on a tree with no weapons, sit on a tree stand above ground, and talk to the Trinity of God and you will feel and receive guidances. After your private ritual with Trinity of God, you will come down on ground and carry a tree stand back to your vehicle stronger!

 

[Koondog]

As a non-believer I find this thread interesting. It just seems strange going to an organization that been involved in decades long controversy for doing things that are arguable way worse than visiting a prostitute from time to time and asking it for forgiveness.

I mean, don't get me wrong, you guys all do what is best for you but I'd say to keep your hobby close to the vest. The less anyone else knows the better.

It's not fair to indict the entire organization for the sick, corrupt actions of a few bad apples. We don't hold other professions and groups to this unrealistic standard of perfection so it's not fair to the Catholic Church either.

 

[AutomaticSlim]

I am mostly an introvert, but keeping all my exploits (& related feelings) bottled up inside is still difficult. As far as I know, those who know me in person have no inkling of my double life. On the contrary, some of my friends and colleagues think I am a cynical, world weary guy who no longer cares about the opposite sex, or sex in general. Outside these boards and some on WeChat, I don't confide in anyone about this. I am just afraid to. I am also very reluctant to meet fellow mongers in person. Frankly, if it weren't for the outlet these boards provide, not sure I'd be able to hold it all in. And that would be very bad indeed.

I used to be reluctant to meet people, but I have changed a bit over the years. Less inhibited I suppose. Have known guys from another site , none monger site that is, for a few years and over the past year we've started to meet up. Two of them I've taken to AMPs with me and another guy recently referred to me as "the best drinking partner ever". I figure what the hell? If you get along with guys for a while online, you'll most likely get along in person.

 

[KittyHawk]

I used to be reluctant to meet people, but I have changed a bit over the years. Less inhibited I suppose. Have known guys from another site , none monger site that is, for a few years and over the past year we've started to meet up. Two of them I've taken to AMPs with me and another guy recently referred to me as "the best drinking partner ever". I figure what the hell? If you get along with guys for a while online, you'll most likely get along in person.

After 20 years on the road, working alone and getting home after everyone was asleep, I felt like the ultimate loner. Something like AR was completely new to me and I was seriously nervous starting out. I have since come to think of it as a brotherhood. I would not have a problem with meeting up.

 

[xxxooz]

It's not fair to indict the entire organization for the sick, corrupt actions of a few bad apples. We don't hold other professions and groups to this unrealistic standard of perfection so it's not fair to the Catholic Church either.

KDog...I would agree with you if "a few bad apples" was in fact the case but it's not... The problem is systemic and the RC church knows it...They have participated in covering up the pedophile problem for years and it finally caught up with them... There is need for great substantive reform in the RC church and very little possibility it will happen in this lifetime... They should take a lesson from the Anglicans and allow their priests to marry like normal men...for starters...