An Inspiration for the Married guys

[tokyocup]

Probably look like this....

Tall
Athletic body
Full head of hair
Above average penis size, but low libido so doesn't want it constantly
Solid income/career
Honest, trustworthy, funny/good sense of humor, good communicator
Intelligent
Empathetic and supportive
Loves kids
Believes housework should be shared 50/50 or he does more than 50%
Gives great massages whenever wifey wants, but without trying to use it as foreplay
Loves to travel, take woman to dinner/trips, buys her shit she wants (good taste in jewelry)

What'd I miss?

In other words, a true Unicorn.

 

[jim_hatez]

In other words, a true Unicorn.

Well he said dream girl. If you're gonna dream, dream big!

 

[The Old Man]

"Not giving you at home what you need (and what she vowed to give)" is also a shitty thing to do to the one she married. Think balance.

Hope this helps.

Need to be careful with the "what she vowed" in her marriage vows. The hard fact is that many women as they get older, have serious hormonal issues which cause them to lose some or all of their Libedo. Now it becomes a serious effort to want that play in bed. Also, some women do not like how they look as they age, even when they seriously try and don't feel sexy. Think about you and that foot hider you cannot get rid of, even when concerned and trying. How many women have you seen that are carrying their winter reserves all year round and not just for winter. Frustrating for those women trying to look their best when nature likes reserves. Now it becomes our responsibility to make them feel special but not always expecting that intimate time we are seeking. For us guys, we can get turned on just thinking about sex. For the average woman, she has to have her mind and body working together. So lets try to keep things in perspective. My parents always said you can answer whether to say or do something by putting your feet in the other person's shoes. Let's imagine we lose our Libedo and our wife still has hers and we have some excuse why no play tonight. Could be a problem if she decides to fulfill her desire since we not fulling our "vow to give". Just trying to give some insight. Not trying to tell anyone what to do. We are all adults, at least in physical years.

 

[BobLaublaw11]

”Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”
—Albert Einstein

 

[charliebrown]

There is not black and white solution to the problem for me. When the marriage had a consistent frequency of affection, the guilt of subsidizing my urges were higher. As the frequency of romance went down in the relationship, the guilt went down along with it. I have a selfish wife who basically does not feel like having sex. When she engages, she is amazing and enjoys it as much, if not more than I do but she chooses to avoid it because she does not need it and she does not really care whether I want it or not. Once she explained her attitude about sex, I lost all pent up guilt that I held.

 

[BIGBOB62]

There is not black and white solution to the problem for me. When the marriage had a consistent frequency of affection, the guilt of subsidizing my urges were higher. As the frequency of romance went down in the relationship, the guilt went down along with it. I have a selfish wife who basically does not feel like having sex. When she engages, she is amazing and enjoys it as much, if not more than I do but she chooses to avoid it because she does not need it and she does not really care whether I want it or not. Once she explained her attitude about sex, I lost all pent up guilt that I held.

I'm curious what she would say or do if she knew. I am never married, but I know from dating life if a girl knows she has competition, she frequently acts to either extreme. She'll either tell me I'm not serious and dump me, or she'll intensify her effort, including ramping it up in the bedroom.

 

[DrYes]

There is not black and white solution to the problem for me. When the marriage had a consistent frequency of affection, the guilt of subsidizing my urges were higher. As the frequency of romance went down in the relationship, the guilt went down along with it. I have a selfish wife who basically does not feel like having sex. When she engages, she is amazing and enjoys it as much, if not more than I do but she chooses to avoid it because she does not need it and she does not really care whether I want it or not. Once she explained her attitude about sex, I lost all pent up guilt that I held.

A lot of us older guys have essentially the same story. We get massages when traveling to fun places and i often say I’m going to get a massage at my favorite local place.

 

[charliebrown]

A lot of us older guys have essentially the same story. We get massages when traveling to fun places and i often say I’m going to get a massage at my favorite local place.

Yep, One of my favorites told me she is more successful at saving marriages than and marriage counselor. It also makes it so easy.

[ME] Honey, I am headed out for counseling again.
[WIFE] Oh great, you are so much better every time you get back from counseling. You should go twice as much!!!
[ME] I love you so much baby. I can't afford two sessions a week but I will ask about a 90 minute session just for you!

 

[tokyocup]

There is not black and white solution to the problem for me. When the marriage had a consistent frequency of affection, the guilt of subsidizing my urges were higher. As the frequency of romance went down in the relationship, the guilt went down along with it. I have a selfish wife who basically does not feel like having sex. When she engages, she is amazing and enjoys it as much, if not more than I do but she chooses to avoid it because she does not need it and she does not really care whether I want it or not. Once she explained her attitude about sex, I lost all pent up guilt that I held.

Your wife actually said it. I would think that most don’t, but the result is the same.

 

[findinit]

There is not black and white solution to the problem for me. When the marriage had a consistent frequency of affection, the guilt of subsidizing my urges were higher. As the frequency of romance went down in the relationship, the guilt went down along with it. I have a selfish wife who basically does not feel like having sex. When she engages, she is amazing and enjoys it as much, if not more than I do but she chooses to avoid it because she does not need it and she does not really care whether I want it or not. Once she explained her attitude about sex, I lost all pent up guilt that I held.

If you could do it over would you forgo marriage and children?

 

[chunfun]

Korea used to have an “Anti-Adultery” law. It was considered a criminal act if you were caught having an affair. It was finally abolished several years ago and the condom, RLD and all other sex-related businesses went up. lol.

There are still states in the US (North Carolina, for example), where a spouse can sue (in civil court) the person having an affair with their spouse.
"Alienation of affection" or some such $#!+

 

[tgunk]

If you could do it over would you forgo marriage and children?

I think so, kids are ungrateful just like wife

 

[AGAR1986]

Such a gray area

 

[Fundork]

Ah ok, appreciate you explaining a bit more. I'm glad you are able to feel like that, unfortunately for me, I haven't been feeling good about my hobbying.

Of course I love the sessions, too much so in fact of the matter. But the guilt over time for me becomes a heavier burden.

I can easily rationalize to myself what I do, but I can't make myself believe it's ok. I feel like a total scumbag and traitor. Even though I am not getting at home what I need I can't be dishonest. This is a shitty thing to do to someone if you are married.

Can I stop? I don't think I can. At least, not completely.

I never wanted to live a life of lies. But it's too late now, because that's exactly what I'm doing. And I know I have betrayed many people in the process.

But I still can't seem to stop. Life is a conundrum.

If I could easily stop I would I think it's shifty too... but it's like a drug... I've never had an issue with drugs but that's what I comparit too.

 

[AGAR1986]

We all live our life based off choices we make. Nobody is perfect and sometimes we get ourselves in situations we shouldn’t . We just have to accept the consequences and be able to live through any scenario that may be because of it. That’s the reality . If you ain’t ready to pull through it , then you might want to reconsider what you’re doing . If you can find peace with what you’re doing and find a balance between what you need vs what you may be crossing the line with .. I am sure things will be diff for you.

For example .

Needing sex
Vs
Needing sex and taking it further than sex

Gotta set boundaries within your actions so you don’t get sucked even deeper into the things that make you feel guilt

 

[tokyocup]

Probably look like this....

Tall
Athletic body
Full head of hair
Above average penis size, but low libido so doesn't want it constantly
Solid income/career
Honest, trustworthy, funny/good sense of humor, good communicator
Intelligent
Empathetic and supportive
Loves kids
Believes housework should be shared 50/50 or he does more than 50%
Gives great massages whenever wifey wants, but without trying to use it as foreplay
Loves to travel, take woman to dinner/trips, buys her shit she wants (good taste in jewelry)

What'd I miss?

In other words, that guy doesn’t exist.

 

[tokyocup]

I absolutely and competely envy you. My wife having an affair would be my wettest dream as it would absolve me of everything

My wife couldn’t get past the first 15 minutes of talking to the guy to have an affair.

 

[tokyocup]

I really don’t ever judge others on their behavior but since this is that discussion …. It feels like two things are existing in this topic, marriage is terrible yet people are staying married even in a sexless relationship. So; despite the pitfalls; marriage must certainly mean quite a bit to many. I’m single. Probably for life. Marriage is to much of a risk and I love my freedom to go where I want without having to answer to someone. I’m lonely; I’ll probably die alone. But the alternative? No thank you.

How many men remain married just because it’s easier? The kids are grown and gone, the house is paid off, you have plenty of money, and you get your sex elsewhere. Best of a less than optimal situation.

 

[Pop_pop]

How many men remain married just because it’s easier? The kids are grown and gone, the house is paid off, you have plenty of money, and you get your sex elsewhere. Best of a less than optimal situation.

Well marriage is not all about sex

 

[stinkweed56]

My wife couldn’t get past the first 15 minutes of talking to the guy to have an affair.

there is no possibility of my wife having an affair. She is complete;ly asexual since the time we were done having kids and I had the vasectomy. I didnt really get the fact that the only reason she put out prior to that was to have kids. Its all a trap...