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An Inspiration for the Married guys
- Thread starter stinkweed56
- Start date
This writer does not feel any guilt whatsoever for extracurricular activities.
It's a long story, but my wife had an affair first. I will admit I was less than romantic in the middle years of marriage, but when I challenged her for not taking care of her wifely duties, she told me "do what you gotta do". So I did what I had to do. With the help of a keystroke logger, I learned about her activities. This included double dates with her friends and their "boyfriends". I had no clue. But the guilt evaporated. Eventually, menopause hit her and she had no sex at all. It's been over a decade. I never stopped having sex. Occasionally, she gets angry about the lack of sex. I'm sympathetic, but sex had become painful for her (and unappealing to me). She's not dumb, but we maintain a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Works for me!
All this to say that a wife who has gone cold may have someone else stoking her flames, and women are much better at hiding their indiscretions.
Goose, meet gander.
It's a long story, but my wife had an affair first. I will admit I was less than romantic in the middle years of marriage, but when I challenged her for not taking care of her wifely duties, she told me "do what you gotta do". So I did what I had to do. With the help of a keystroke logger, I learned about her activities. This included double dates with her friends and their "boyfriends". I had no clue. But the guilt evaporated. Eventually, menopause hit her and she had no sex at all. It's been over a decade. I never stopped having sex. Occasionally, she gets angry about the lack of sex. I'm sympathetic, but sex had become painful for her (and unappealing to me). She's not dumb, but we maintain a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Works for me!
All this to say that a wife who has gone cold may have someone else stoking her flames, and women are much better at hiding their indiscretions.
Goose, meet gander.
Sounds similar to my journey except her affair was intolerable and ended it all for a myriad of reasons I won’t bore you with but I see now years down the road that it actually was my wettest dream, just a shitty process when it happens.
I bumped into this thread accidentally and it’s fascinating. I see Jim H in some of the posts where I monger & if you’re still reading this Jim, one thing you said that I completely disagree with- you pondered existence without your SO and that it might be totally depressing sometimes (paraphrasing). I’m here to tell you as a divorcee, life has been an amazing journey with no regrets and no more or less loneliness that when I was married. Honestly, what a lot of the posters are describing is loneliness within their relationships. I had that & while I do miss some of the grounding things about being married, 12 years later I can say none of those things I miss include my ex!! It’s a better, more honest and satisfying existence. And if I get the urge to monger- I do, no guilt, no shame, no anything, just satisfaction. YMMV as the saying goes and it applies in this part of life too.
I bumped into this thread accidentally and it’s fascinating. I see Jim H in some of the posts where I monger & if you’re still reading this Jim, one thing you said that I completely disagree with- you pondered existence without your SO and that it might be totally depressing sometimes (paraphrasing). I’m here to tell you as a divorcee, life has been an amazing journey with no regrets and no more or less loneliness that when I was married. Honestly, what a lot of the posters are describing is loneliness within their relationships. I had that & while I do miss some of the grounding things about being married, 12 years later I can say none of those things I miss include my ex!! It’s a better, more honest and satisfying existence. And if I get the urge to monger- I do, no guilt, no shame, no anything, just satisfaction. YMMV as the saying goes and it applies in this part of life too.
Maybe this sounds like a double standard but I feel men cheating and women cheating can be very different. There are exceptions to this rule; but guys often cheat to get off; it’s glorified masturbation. While women often have deep emotional connections with people who they cheat with.
Again; there are exceptions to this; but an emotional romance is very different from just sex.
When my ex moved on it wasn’t the sex that bothered me; it was that she had formed a deep emotional bond with someone else.
Again; there are exceptions to this; but an emotional romance is very different from just sex.
When my ex moved on it wasn’t the sex that bothered me; it was that she had formed a deep emotional bond with someone else.
It's difficult. Biologically, women really tend to slow down after a while and if you are a good friend/husband/parent and things are running smoothly, except for you getting laid more than once a week, it's a condumdrum. You can either stay pissed off, waiting for a rare "non-excuse night" and begging for it, or have your 'fill ins" and stay quiet about it and move along with a content smile. There is a reason there are more AMPS then Starbucks here in NJ. Also, depends on if when you were a pussy hound when you were young, sometimes its a male biological issue with a personality type, needs concurring to feel a sense of living to a core inherent DNA replication level.
What I've learned, over many years, is that marriage is actually not a "sacred vow". It's a lie. Man-made, by the church, to keep us trapped in a relationship even when the other person turns into a living nightmare. I used to feel guilt. I don't anymore. Not for a rule made up by men, a long time ago, who used to either be celibate (priests) or cheat on a regular basis (kings and pretty much any man) because, what was your wife going to do? Leave you and work a farm or hunt for herself? No. I'm done with guilt.
I think the reality is, there are no dream girls and if there are, they are locked up in relationships or no where around here.
Here is my list of a dream girl:
Young but not too young
Intelligent enough to have conversation on diverse topics
Athletic body but with great natural T&A
Beautiful face
Caring and sweet
Voracious sexual appetite, open to pleasing her man whenever he wants and does it with glee, adventurous in the bedroom
Honest and trustworthy
Good financial sense, preferably with her own strong income source and savings/investments
Likes good music, partying, exotic cars, hikes, beach, travel, and a foodie
Doesn't fart and or burp often if at all
Actively tries to make her man happy outside of the bedroom as well
Does she exist? I have my doubts LMAO
Have a great weekend guys!
jim
Here is my list of a dream girl:
Young but not too young
Intelligent enough to have conversation on diverse topics
Athletic body but with great natural T&A
Beautiful face
Caring and sweet
Voracious sexual appetite, open to pleasing her man whenever he wants and does it with glee, adventurous in the bedroom
Honest and trustworthy
Good financial sense, preferably with her own strong income source and savings/investments
Likes good music, partying, exotic cars, hikes, beach, travel, and a foodie
Doesn't fart and or burp often if at all
Actively tries to make her man happy outside of the bedroom as well
Does she exist? I have my doubts LMAO
Have a great weekend guys!
jim