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Maybe you guys aren't ALL sociopathic pieces of shit after all

BrettKavanaugh

Review Contributor
Messages: 1,614
Reviews: 95
Joined
#1
As many of you know, I do on occasion enjoy going off on an extended holier-than-thou rant. But recently I met a popular J girl and had a bit of conversation I found moderately heartening. So I thought I should balance out the books.

Very sweet GND pretty girl. Good time. One of those girls I might pursue out of the shop if I were 20 years younger. Well, I have some potentially good news for one lucky bloke next time she comes. She's hoping to return on a student visa. Then she told me she wants an English speaking boyfriend to help her learn. I said I bet by now you have lots of guys for you to choose from who will happily volunteer. She smiles sheepishly: yes, lots of nice men. This felt genuine - after all, it's not like she's complimenting ME when she says that. What does she have to gain with such a lie? It was almost like she might be considering the possibility for real. (Also, interesting, as a sex-worker back home, she says doesn't like sleeping with Japanese guys. To my surprise she says they smell like homeless people. Heh. Sweet, but this one also has a funny edge to her).

So there you go. Seems a good chunk of us are being well-behaved, and gentlemanly enough (and better smelling than our Japanese brethren) as we exploit her and she exploits us that she would consider auditioning several of you for the limited-time role of boyfriend/English practice partner. Good going, guys! You're not all obvious lunatics, stalkers or rapists who deserve to be drawn and quartered! Yay us! Go get her, tigers!

While I myself can't accept the position if offered, on her return I may submit myself for further interviews anyway, as the interview process itself is about as pleasant of an HR experience as you can come across these days.

And don't worry, I feel a new anti-lunatic screed welling up from within in reaction to some other threads......
 

BrettKavanaugh

Review Contributor
Messages: 1,614
Reviews: 95
Joined
#4
Agreed. I think most of on here are good dudes just looking for a tug or a little more.
Not sure if we're good dudes. But there's a wide spectrum in between "good dude" and "stark raving lunatic". And it's a LOT more, not a little.

Interviewer: please describe your experience with the English language
BK: sure, just read these five 10,000 word posts
I envision it going more like:
Interviewer: I find English verb tenses confusing. Give me an example of how you plan to teach those.

Me: Sure! Let me give you a sample lesson plan.

First we'll review subjunctive and future tenses. Then we'll focus on present continuous and imperative forms, before previewing the conditional form.

So the subjunctive tense. Repeat after me:
SHOULD I fuck the living daylights out of you?

Now the future tense: In one minute I WILL fuck the living daylights out of you.

Let's get to the meat of the lesson. Here's the present continuous: Right now, I AM fuckING the living daylights out of you.

Now let's do a deep dive into the imperative. Fuck the living daylights out of me! Note that there is no "I" here. Now you try some other verbs. Yes! Good girl!

35 minutes and 40 verbs later........

Phew! Now let's review the past tense: I just fuckED the living daylights out of you.

And we'll close off with a preview of the conditional tense. If I WERE your English teacher, I WOULD fuck the living daylights out of you every day.

In your case, I strongly recommend a deep immersion program of at least 3 hours per day. You did well, but we need to work on some things. Let's repeat the lesson again right now.
 

krideynyc

Registered Member
Messages: 3,285
Reviews: 9
Joined
#5
Offering to teach English to Chinese AMP workers was a surefire way to break the ice. Helps that I'm fluent in Mandarin, and have no accent when speaking both.
 

offlimits

Review Contributor
Messages: 122
Reviews: 10
Joined
#6
Honestly all I did for providers was a using my Orbicularis oris muscle to suck their thimbles on tits and also some gluts/quats/hamstrings to perform boom boom action on the hole. Even I paid right even sometimes service wasn't that satisfactory. So I believe I'm a good man.
 
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