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Therapy for this hobby

dirkjones

dirkjones

Registered Member
Messages: 1,034
Reviews: 6
Joined
#121
#121
Starcraft09 said:
Break the taboo inside your mind, this is perfectly normal and has been like that for centuries, enjoy it and know why you are doing it.
You are doing it because it makes you feel good, it brings variety and is fun, we are men we are the apex species and we are lucky to have options and things available to us, if you are going broke because of this hobby then I would feel guilty too, but if you can afford it and keep living a normal life then is nothing wrong.

Sex is what keep us doing what we are doing, everything in life would be senseless if we don’t have women available, the more you make and the better you become the more girls you can have. Or you just want to work to keep your house tidy and cars tidy with no women to fuck?
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this would make a great end speech to a monger based movie, only thing you’re failing to acknowledge is the providers true willingness to be a participant in your decision. I know we all wanna paint the picture it’s a business transaction, men need choices/variety, be thankful we have the options, if you can afford it there is nothing wrong with it, etc… but there could be some instances where there is something far more sinister going on behind the scenes. This is where it is evident that this “hobby” is more of an addiction then a casual choice (if we even think to acknowledge the evil side of the hobby). I know there may be providers that aspired to do this and truly love their work, but we can’t pretend that’s all of them. On that note, HAPPY HOLIDAYS GUYS!!!! Tip your provider 150% this season!
 
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DeuceJiggalow

Review Contributor
Messages: 711
Reviews: 8
Joined
#122
#122
AsacSchrader said:
Hey guys. I have an update that I want to share. Somewhat bad but hopefully ends on an optimistic note. I couldn’t find a therapist I was comfortable with but I was still able to stop for a bit.

I went 4 months without hobbying. I was able to suppress my urges by invoking images of post nut guilt. That image of laying on a massage table. Partially draped with a towel which was used to clean god knows how many other mongers. And staring forlornly at how I ended up in such a position. That kept me out of the mongering scene for a while.

I did however substitute with porn, often 2-3x/day. I am still a sex addict.

I eventually relapsed. Met girls who are genuinely interested. And I self-sabotage with thoughts of “what if she finds out about my past?” or “what if I get into a relationship and see sex workers behind her back?”. I devalue myself to the point where mongering is my only means of satisfying my sexual needs.

But I think there’s a deeper problem as many of you mentioned. A problem I’ve been burying my head in the sand around. Porn and mongering addictions are quick dopamine fixes at an attempt to fill that void.

I lack fulfillment and I’m no doubt severely depressed and crippled with social anxiety. I don’t have any hobbies. I work for the sake of working. I realized the few close friends I have only use me as an outlet to listen to their complaints. I am determined to make a change. I will explore and pursue fulfilling hobbies. I have a big list of things I want to try out.

What I want to ultimately get out of it is to get up in the morning looking forward to my day. Looking forward to doing something fulfilling. As opposed to now where I wake up wondering why the hell I’m alive.
I know I can do it.
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Good job in your journey. I like that you have identified the problem and have a keen sense of self-awareness. I would wager for most younger mongers here, the habit was likely sparked by porn. Agree that they are both quick fixes and add nothing to long term happiness, might actually work against it. Have you tried nofap? This really works to rewire your thought patterns and I found its helped a lot. Also avoid even looking at porn or erotic imagery, although this may be close to impossible nowadays.
 
A

AsacSchrader

Registered Member
Messages: 49
Reviews: 10
Joined
#123
#123
Starcraft09 said:
Break the taboo inside your mind, this is perfectly normal and has been like that for centuries, enjoy it and know why you are doing it.
You are doing it because it makes you feel good, it brings variety and is fun, we are men we are the apex species and we are lucky to have options and things available to us, if you are going broke because of this hobby then I would feel guilty too, but if you can afford it and keep living a normal life then is nothing wrong.

Sex is what keep us doing what we are doing, everything in life would be senseless if we don’t have women available, the more you make and the better you become the more girls you can have. Or you just want to work to keep your house tidy and cars tidy with no women to fuck?
Click to expand...
I don’t believe it’s inherently wrong. And I’m not judging anyone who partakes. My problem is that I’m abusing it to fill a hole in my life. I’m using it to escape from the reality in front of me. It gives me that temporary dopamine rush to just barely hang on to life.

As someone mentioned earlier. I’ve been addicted to porn since I was a child. Life was tough, and porn was always there for me. And my porn addiction transitioned into this hobby. There’s a deeper issue here where I truly never experienced life and it just so happens porn and hobbying is my crutch. For others it can be video games, gambling, workaholics etc.

I am by no means demonizing this hobby or sex workers. It’s ridiculous that it’s stigmatized as much as it is in contemporary society. I whole heartedly recommend those who have their shit together but lacking sexual release to visit sex workers. And I strongly believe sex workers are integral for men to continue to have a stable and long-lasting marriage.
 
F

fobdfkcim

Review Contributor
Messages: 247
Reviews: 15
Joined
#127
#127
DeuceJiggalow said:
What also helps is that talent in nyc has gradually been getting worse and it’s combined with a hefty price tag. In my opinion, internet porn is much more addictive - easily accessible, free, you can see more naked babes in an hour than our ancestors could in a lifetime, none of the risks of mongering.

It’s not impossible to quit this hobby and it’s harder the longer you’ve been in it. You just have to retrain your mind. The trick I suggested is essentially a mini dopamine detox. You may have to do something more extensive along the same lines. You may not be able to 100% quit, but I guarantee you can dramatically decrease the frequency.

One person I think of to refrain from this hobby is Val Kilmer. No one really talks about how he got his illness, but pretty sure it’s hpv related from eating mad punani, like michael douglas. Now we have the vaccine, but I don’t trust it.
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I got that same type of HPV-related throat cancer. Got cured though (thankfully). But I will still lick a sweet little peach now and again.
 
krideynyc

krideynyc

Registered Member
Messages: 3,283
Reviews: 9
Joined
#137
#137
winternights said:
why 46?
I thought you needed to get it before you were 'sexually active'
Im 50+ and chow down all around the world, Id kinda like some vague type of protection.
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Johnny Blaze said:
There is some cutoff age for it. It is some year in the later 40s... Not sure why it is a cutoff or if it is a hard cutoff.
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It's highly recommended for active teens 18 to 26. Over 26 to 45 is optional. Over 45 is not recommended. Reason is: if over 45, you've most likely been exposed to it and already have antibodies.

https://www.cdc.gov/hpv/parents/vaccine-for-hpv.html#:~:text=HPV vaccination is not recommended,benefits of vaccination for them.
 
Johnny Blaze

Johnny Blaze

YMMV Intercontinental Champion
Messages: 3,037
Reviews: 188
Joined
#139
#139
krideynyc said:
It's highly recommended for active teens 18 to 26. Over 26 to 45 is optional. Over 45 is not recommended. Reason is: if over 45, you've most likely been exposed to it and already have antibodies.

https://www.cdc.gov/hpv/parents/vaccine-for-hpv.html#:~:text=HPV vaccination is not recommended,benefits of vaccination for them.
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The thing is there are so many fucking strains... but only a few that physically manifest. I at least never had any that physically manifested.

45 sounds about right. I got it before that.

I read somewhere that if you get it you build or should build antibodies for it in 3 months...well, for that strain. I am guessing that it could be per strain immunity or else the vaccine would work for all of them.

I have always been a pussy eater / pussy inspector and if I see anything even close to weird I fucking bail.
 
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