Therapy for this hobby

What also helps is that talent in nyc has gradually been getting worse and it’s combined with a hefty price tag. In my opinion, internet porn is much more addictive - easily accessible, free, you can see more naked babes in an hour than our ancestors could in a lifetime, none of the risks of mongering.

It’s not impossible to quit this hobby and it’s harder the longer you’ve been in it. You just have to retrain your mind. The trick I suggested is essentially a mini dopamine detox. You may have to do something more extensive along the same lines. You may not be able to 100% quit, but I guarantee you can dramatically decrease the frequency.

One person I think of to refrain from this hobby is Val Kilmer. No one really talks about how he got his illness, but pretty sure it’s hpv related from eating mad punani, like michael douglas. Now we have the vaccine, but I don’t trust it.

Say what??? Both Val Kilmer and Michael Douglas were 3 pack a day smokers for years before they contracted throat cancer. Their reports are publicly listed as they are both huge advocates for cancer and cigarette smoking awareness. That HPV rumor is a bunch of bovine scatology, created in the ignorance of the jealous and the depraved. On the .0000009% chance its true can you think of a better way to go?

Now back to reality. A lot of people can smoke three cigarettes a day albeit mostly women. A lot of people can have one or two glasses of wine or booze once or twice a week. A lot of people can go to a casino or the track and not go again for a long time. It is the same with this. I hobby once or twice every 4-6 weeks. Always did. Different people simply have different dopamine transmitters in the brain. Addiction is a chemical thing. If you are wired for it, best never to indulge. That really is the bottom line. If you are doing something, opioids, the hobby, gambling, smoking, drinking, (isn't it amazing that many addicted people do all of these things simultaneously or bounce between them) and find you cannot stop, get professional help. You will not get it in this board, seek out a trained professional.

When do you know? Plain and simple, when you start to plan your day around when you are going to do it. When you miss a meeting at work to do it. When you miss the rent and divert the money to the hobby, or your car is being repossessed. Every addiction is the same, at one point you will bottom out. Everyone has a support level of normalcy. When you break through that level and keep crashing, you are like a bad options trade. Close the trade. I hope if you read this and have a legitimate problem, you seek out professional trained help.

Me, I am older, my young days are a distant memory. To quote the late great Jim Morrison " I don't know man, I don't know where this all goes. I just want to get my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flames" Raise your glass gentlemen and a toast to the hobby. " To all my friends" Mickey Rourke Barfly.

I’m glad I triggered you so. I didn’t know they both smoked like that. Guess I’m wrong, but it helps to avoid this hobby assuming my theory is correct. Yes, eating punani is prob the best way to go.

Hey guys. I have an update that I want to share. Somewhat bad but hopefully ends on an optimistic note. I couldn’t find a therapist I was comfortable with but I was still able to stop for a bit.

I went 4 months without hobbying. I was able to suppress my urges by invoking images of post nut guilt. That image of laying on a massage table. Partially draped with a towel which was used to clean god knows how many other mongers. And staring forlornly at how I ended up in such a position. That kept me out of the mongering scene for a while.

I did however substitute with porn, often 2-3x/day. I am still a sex addict.

I eventually relapsed. Met girls who are genuinely interested. And I self-sabotage with thoughts of “what if she finds out about my past?” or “what if I get into a relationship and see sex workers behind her back?”. I devalue myself to the point where mongering is my only means of satisfying my sexual needs.

But I think there’s a deeper problem as many of you mentioned. A problem I’ve been burying my head in the sand around. Porn and mongering addictions are quick dopamine fixes at an attempt to fill that void.

I lack fulfillment and I’m no doubt severely depressed and crippled with social anxiety. I don’t have any hobbies. I work for the sake of working. I realized the few close friends I have only use me as an outlet to listen to their complaints. I am determined to make a change. I will explore and pursue fulfilling hobbies. I have a big list of things I want to try out.

What I want to ultimately get out of it is to get up in the morning looking forward to my day. Looking forward to doing something fulfilling. As opposed to now where I wake up wondering why the hell I’m alive.
I know I can do it.

Unpopular opinion: find god and religion you will find fulfillment

OK I feel for you. many moons ago, I was a almost rock star. I have played guitar since I was 9 like most of the greats I am left handed and play a standard right handed guitar left hand dominant, not like Hendrix , not lefty, I play righty like a righty would but my dominant hand is playing the chords and lead. BB King, Duane Allman, Eric Clapton, Jimmy Page, Shawn Lane, Garry Moore, Johnny Winter, Eddie Van Halen, Steve Vai, Joe Satriani, Alvin Lee, Mark Knopfler, to name a few. It is gift from God to be able to do it. I got as close as you could get, TV, radio, tour scheduled. Our fucking manager married to the boss of the record companies daughter, carries on an open affair with the phone girl. Poof, vaporized.

Where am I going ? My dream died that day. I could have kept going, professed my love for what I did, instead, I sold out. I went into sales. I play and write to this day, better than ever, but it is late in the game. I was successful for 20 out of 30 years at what I did, but my heart was never in it. If I see someone playing, I always want to go over jam with them, but I never do.

See if you do not love what you do, you will never be happy, and that manifests itself many different ways. For you, the hobby because you hate yourself. You hate yourself because you are angry. You are angry because you have not found the thing that makes you happy. Find that thing, whatever it is, helping people, trading stock options, not for profits, find it. When you find that key, it will unlock the door to your happiness.

Shortly before I stopped drinking, I was in a bar at 2 AM in NYC, the Oak Room. I was going at it pretty hard. A beautiful, classy woman tapped my hand. She started in my eyes like an angel of mercy, and said, my friend whatever it is your are searching for, I can promise you, it isn't in the bottom of that glass. My eyes swelled, said thank you. She kissed me on the cheek. Next day I stopped, never had another drink again. It takes time, however once you let your addiction go, you don't want to go back. You revert back to all the struggles you went through just to put it down. It scares you to revert back, as it should. I am scared to ever have a drink again, I know what would happen. It is not worth the ten first minutes of that first drink, or that first line of coke, or that first 30 seconds of that BBBJ from a woman you do not know.

If you find the thing in life you love, it will release you from all this. Now there are a lot of assholes here, they will put you down, tell you all kinds of crap. Listen to my words here to the letter. I am giving you the answer. The search is up to you. The sooner you start it, the sooner you can find happiness, true happiness, and get on with your life.

Me I will just keep acquiescing, hobbying, playing music, writing, singing, trading options, running my small marketing business. For me the best is behind me. But the only time I ever find love is when I play my guitar or are with my Thai woman, who I love but can not have full time. SO for her. Trust me on this one OK?

that's actually a very popular opinion... but, it is an opinion and you know what they say about opinions.

why not picture the image of you on your death bed and being angry at how much you over thought a girl cleaning your asshole and sucking you off? maybe that will counter balance the negative feelings. Also, If you're gonna think about how many mongers the towels were used on, might as well think about how many people used the silverware the next time you eat out. Same difference.

Funny that the thought of how many others have used the towel is somehow a deterrent, while the thought of how many others have "used" the girl isn't.

The only therapy is to get a girlfriend who is a freak just the same as you and get married.

Break the taboo inside your mind, this is perfectly normal and has been like that for centuries, enjoy it and know why you are doing it.
You are doing it because it makes you feel good, it brings variety and is fun, we are men we are the apex species and we are lucky to have options and things available to us, if you are going broke because of this hobby then I would feel guilty too, but if you can afford it and keep living a normal life then is nothing wrong.

Sex is what keep us doing what we are doing, everything in life would be senseless if we don’t have women available, the more you make and the better you become the more girls you can have. Or you just want to work to keep your house tidy and cars tidy with no women to fuck?

Have a look at the "good lives model". Is a therapy system designed around self-discovering the chain that creates the position you find yourself in, which choices you make, and then how to move on in a healthy way. It's used for drug and alcohol addiction, sex addiction, kleptomania, people recovering from PTSD, and so on. Can be done by yourself or on one-on-one sessions, but is best in groups. Groups are cheaper too btw. The goals you can set for yourself don't necessarily have to include stopping the behavior. Can be as simple as accepting it and making it function in your life, or can be something else. I've seen it work many many times, my psychiatrist uses it in her practice.

true, the towel gets washed with soap and then runs through 160 degrees of heat for an hour or so... can we say the same about her vajayjay?

Thinking of a girl rimming me on my death bed might be just what I need - or Nicole Doshi in a nurse outfit sliding her hand under the cover

That’s great. I think you’ve found the key to moving ahead: find something else to do that gives you purpose. Doesn’t have to be deep; just something that’s purposeful for you.

One of the most impactful books I ever read is Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. He survived Nazi concentration camps partly through his strong sense of purpose. If he could do that, you can stay clean from mongering. Stay strong.

Ya, it's basically the foundation of AA.

Some LSD in the proper setting has potential to help too.

I do the same with my female hot milf supervisor. She loves to hear the crazyshit I get myself into!

I’m too beautiful to die.

I agree it's good, but that can be an addiction too.
@AsacSchrader has the right idea by branching out and trying new things he always wanted to do.
The time to do that is when you are young, which he is.
And if taking religion seriously and going to church is part of it, great.
But from what I have seen, some people who "find God" are addicted to it and use it as a crutch as well.