I had just broken up with my girlfriend and was starting to question if I had made a mistake. She and I had an amazing sex life with incredible sexual chemistry, and my God was I attracted to her, but I was sick of the fighting and didn't see a happy future with her. (In hindsight, I still believe I made the right choice, but damn that body).
Sure, I had heard the cliche about Asian massage parlors and happy endings. Started to believe it might actually be true. On my way to a friend's house in Rhode Island, I stopped in a place I had seen ads for and rang the doorbell. Mamma opened the door and I was greeted with the glow of a red light.
Asked a few questions. How much for an hour? Do you do half hours? I think I looked nervous and she looked at me with suspicion the whole time.
Left and returned after hanging out at my buddy's house. She brings me into a room and give her house fee.
I wait there for my attendant, and when she walks in, I'm floored. Wearing a bikini with her top almost popping out from her huge cleavage, I didn't expect that. She gives me a very nice massage (I'm sure she knows I'm a newbie as I'm laying there with my boxer shorts on) and eventually asks, "Honey, what you want?"
"Umm...I don't know." I just don't know how to answer. I'm not gonna come right out and ask for a handjob.
"You want everything?"
"Umm... Sure." Mind you, at this point I think "everything" is code for a handjob. Like, that's the full package. Getting the happy ending. That's everything.
"How much you tip?"
Oh I didn't consider this part. Well, what did a massage therapist get tipped? The same as a waiter? 15-20%? So, like, $10 would be an expected tip, so I think I should offer a better than expected tip to get everything.
"Twenty dollars?"
She literally rolled her eyes up.
"How much do people usually tip?," I asked.
"$140," she said.
My eyes nearly bulged out of my head for the second time during my visit. What the hell??? She must be trying to screw me. (Had no idea how right I was.)
I refused to go higher than $60. "That's equal to the price of the massage!" I said. Surely she's not serious about the $140. Guys actual tip that high??
She finally said nothing more and got real stiff and jacked me off. Totally unsensual. Strictly, "Let's be done with this and get this guy out of here." Obviously not very happy. I'm sure if I had tried touching her, she'd have snapped at me. (But touching her didn't even occur to me. Surely that would be disrespectful. Guys can't and shouldn't get away with something like that.)
Once done, she cleaned me up and I got dressed. "Next time, you bring more. I do everything, ok?" Then she made some slurping sounds with her mouth. "Everything."
I walked out realizing what a naive dummy I was. "Wow," I thought, "I can't believe 'Everything' meant a blowjob."