she just shut down once i told her no money first. Your Thots?
When I am seeing a girl for the first time, I just give her the $$ if she asks for it (assuming I decide to proceed). Why? Simply to put her at ease that you are a man of your word. If you refuse, she will spend the session wondering if you are going to shaft her and that will likely degrade the experience.
In my experience, the vast majority of the time it works out just fine, but there were two incidents where I did get shorted on time (she kicked me out after 40 minutes) and another one where she provided something less than FS. About half the time, they don't ask for the money up front, and once where we both almost forgot about it. If I repeat, there is some level of mutual trust and the girl is typically fine with getting the money at the end.
I will also say that I would never give/send any kind of money before the meet. She has to be there to get it.
You also have to look at things from the girl's perspective too. Not every guy is honorable (and I'm sure many are not). Once they provide, some guys may just walk and there isn't much they can do about it. Worst case they could get the Police involved, but that would likely be more trouble than its worth.
As for her drugging you, it's possible. If it is her place, that would be a stupid thing to do as you know where she lives. Try asking for a something (like a beer) that requires a bottle/can to be opened.