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Review: She SHALL be named, and her name is Aurora of KG - The GOAT (Formerly…

BrettKavanaugh

Review Contributor
Messages: 1,615
Reviews: 95
Joined
#2
Postscript #1
So it turns out I haven’t given you enough after all. Watchya gonna do about it? I’ve got years of pent up thoughts about The Nameless One. I still have way more.
Instead of cutting, I moved this thing to here. I think it’s safe for the public comment section.

One thing to keep in mind. In general, she’s in charge. Sometimes she may have a routine. Sometimes she’ll feel like mixing it up in whatever way she feels at the moment. My advice: if she feels like doing something, you damn well let her do whatever she feels like doing. Because whatever it is, if she feels like doing it, she’ll do it exceedingly well. In my previous review of her in summer 2020, before she was doing any GFE stuff, I wrote “you will do as you’re told and take what you are given, and you will fucking like it”. I sense there’s still a big kernel of truth in that, but in reality, maybe because I’m now her semi-regular, she’s also been a very willing fun interactive partner with me and has indulged some of the silliness that I bring to the table. And then has added her own improvisational flair to my silliness. At heart, she’s something of a performer. An unpredictable performer, but that makes it even more exciting. I think she likes being mysterious. So understand that my experience won’t be exactly your experience. Your experience could very well be even better for all I know. Maybe she’ll take you places she hasn’t taken me.* I mean of course that’s true with lots of girls, even most girls, but I suspect it’s even more so with Chanel. But hopefully I’ve given you an idea of the range of possibilities here – and more importantly – the quality of those possibilities to get your mind rolling. The anticipation is part of the fun, right?

*You’ll have to trust me on this one, but I’m pretty confident in 2020 she viewed me as a perfectly acceptable repeat customer (you know, the usual: clean, polite, not an irredeemable asshole, doesn’t bite, etc.) but not particularly outstanding either. I mean, plenty of hot girls like funny guys, but how would she have known I’m the funniest writer on here? I wasn’t coming into 2022 with bonus points or anything, so the quality of service I described, if not the specific details, may be within reach of most non-vile dudes. Like many girls, she certainly treats her regulars well. (Sample size of one in my survey).

____
Now, if you’d like more NC-17 stuff starring this goddess that maybe you will or maybe you won’t quite experience, go to the Private Forum for some additional never-before-seen footage left on the cutting room floor for this theatrical release. That stuff is NOT for the public comments.
 

BrettKavanaugh

Review Contributor
Messages: 1,615
Reviews: 95
Joined
#3
Postscript #2

Wait! Wait a minute. No, let’s change that recommendation. It’s a NO! No, I do not recommend. Keep your filthy hands off of her. Animals.

And FYI, I reluctantly posted this (or “printed” it as she adorably says) only because she does specifically want a review now (as Aurora, while noting that “Chanel is back”.) She is accepting new "nice" customers. Otherwise I would have kept my damn mouth shut. You would think that I OF ALL PEOPLE, the man who created the SWSNBN character, would be the least likely to re-out her. But like I said, she bends me to her will. I have no choice. I am her prisoner of love and war. I am the Alec Guinness character in Bridge on the River Kwai. So if I'm forced to build her a bridge, then bloody hell I'm going to build her the best fucking bridge in the entire Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere. Even if it’s counter to my own war effort.

What have I done?


Oy, I probably have to explain the analogy here. Most of you probably have never seen Bridge on the River Kwai. Great movie. Classic. Go rent it. Might seem racist now though. Not sure, been decades since I've seen it. But it's from 1957, so it's hard to imagine it won't seem racist now. Note the cute Thai honeys in that scene too. They gotta be in their 90s now, or beyond. Insert 98 Mott joke here. For those of you too lazy to look it up, the Alec Guinness character is a British Colonel in a Japanese POW camp in Thailand. After much drama Guinness agrees to build a railroad bridge for the Japanese connecting Thailand to Burma - and inexplicably orders his men to do a good job. Then makes it an even better bridge than the Japanese had designed. Some Allied commandos, led by William Holden, try to blow up the bridge (and the first train) on opening day. (Those guys are probably metaphors for the rest of you who have already met her. Sorry fellas! She has me wrapped around her beautiful bedazzled finger). At the end, Guinness realizes that maybe building the bridge wasn't the best idea after all.

 

BrettKavanaugh

Review Contributor
Messages: 1,615
Reviews: 95
Joined
#4
Postscript #3

Some of you may be wondering: GOAT? Really? Your honor, what about Gisella? You always drone on and on and on about Gisella. Gisella this. Gisella that.

Gisella is the 1999-2000 Tennessee Titans.

Say whaaa....?

Rams-Titans Super Bowl. 2000. Before G, I never thought it would be possible for anyone to even approach Chanel/Aurora. But somehow, just as the Titans surprisingly put themselves in position to beat the heavily favored - and spectacular to watch - St. Louis Rams, Sugar/Gabby/Gisella entered the picture and blew me away, rising and rising and rising and in the end putting the final result in doubt. On the game’s final play on first and goal, Kevin Dyson caught the ball on like the 5 and seemed to have a path into the endzone for the win. (Technically, it was for the tie. Let's not get too literal. Tie works for this analogy too anyway, I suppose). For a metaphorical moment I really thought Gisella was going to get there. But then Chanel/Aurora reappeared after nearly 2 years, and this new dimension of emotive performance was like Mike Jones, coming out of nowhere and tackling Gisella inches short as time expires. Rams and Aurora win after all.

If in your inner Super Bowl, G slips the tackle just enough to break the plane, I can’t argue that either: they’re both so damn spectacular and so inconceivably out of my league. In different ways. You have to see both in your lifetime. Which blinding sun is brighter? Perhaps it’s a distinction beyond normal human perception. But in my version G is down inside the 1. (And if you look back carefully at what I’ve written, I’ve always implied SWSNBN was still ahead of G. Not implied: it was in the freaking title of the Gabby review), and right there in the Top 88 List.

Those two, and nobody else is or has been remotely close in my heart, mind or loins. Aurora + Gisella are head and shoulders beyond. We all love to bitch and moan about how things suck now. But now these two superstar suprenovas are both around(ish) at the same time. That simple fact alone means that, almost by definition, in 25 years of doing this, now is the best era ever. (You know. Ignoring the whole inflation question).
 

night5678

Monger Kong
Messages: 717
Reviews: 55
Joined
#11
My brother in Christ, I've read textbooks that aren't as in-depth as this review. You're really making a solid argument for me to go see her again... I'd I break down I blame you but I'm sure you'll be nodding approvingly.
 

BrettKavanaugh

Review Contributor
Messages: 1,615
Reviews: 95
Joined
#17
He needs his own dedicated sub-forum.
Aw, shucks.
Does this work? Next best thing.
https://www.ampreviews.net/index.php?search/12629145/

Thanks for your review @BrettKavanaugh !

It would be nice if Sheri from Sally's would reappear.
Meh. If I DID have my own sub-forum, maybe you would have caught that I specifically cited Sheri as a popular girl I've seen who did not make my Top 88. Essentially a dud and past her prime when I saw her post-Sally's in 2018. You want a time machine, not a reappearance.

Speaking of reappearances....looks like they posted that picture I described. But they cut her out of the glass door and pasted her onto a copyright infringement-laden white screen. Now that I see it on a larger screen and can take some time, I think it somehow doesn't do her justice. Not quite sure exactly what or where. Yes, I'm saying IMHO the real Chanel/Aurora is more attractive than that picture. Maybe the circular cut of the bikini makes her mms look more obviously mm than irl? I mean, of course there's no mistaking that they're mm, but it's one of the finest interventions, and i'll go ahead and say THE finest intervention at that magnitude I've ever experienced. Also, I think the photo undersells her eongdeong-i.
 

Paulles57

Registered Member
Messages: 137
Reviews: 5
Joined
#20
Postscript #1
So it turns out I haven’t given you enough after all. Watchya gonna do about it? I’ve got years of pent up thoughts about The Nameless One. I still have way more.
Instead of cutting, I moved this thing to here. I think it’s safe for the public comment section.

One thing to keep in mind. In general, she’s in charge. Sometimes she may have a routine. Sometimes she’ll feel like mixing it up in whatever way she feels at the moment. My advice: if she feels like doing something, you damn well let her do whatever she feels like doing. Because whatever it is, if she feels like doing it, she’ll do it exceedingly well. In my previous review of her in summer 2020, before she was doing any GFE stuff, I wrote “you will do as you’re told and take what you are given, and you will fucking like it”. I sense there’s still a big kernel of truth in that, but in reality, maybe because I’m now her semi-regular, she’s also been a very willing fun interactive partner with me and has indulged some of the silliness that I bring to the table. And then has added her own improvisational flair to my silliness. At heart, she’s something of a performer. An unpredictable performer, but that makes it even more exciting. I think she likes being mysterious. So understand that my experience won’t be exactly your experience. Your experience could very well be even better for all I know. Maybe she’ll take you places she hasn’t taken me.* I mean of course that’s true with lots of girls, even most girls, but I suspect it’s even more so with Chanel. But hopefully I’ve given you an idea of the range of possibilities here – and more importantly – the quality of those possibilities to get your mind rolling. The anticipation is part of the fun, right?

*You’ll have to trust me on this one, but I’m pretty confident in 2020 she viewed me as a perfectly acceptable repeat customer (you know, the usual: clean, polite, not an irredeemable asshole, doesn’t bite, etc.) but not particularly outstanding either. I mean, plenty of hot girls like funny guys, but how would she have known I’m the funniest writer on here? I wasn’t coming into 2022 with bonus points or anything, so the quality of service I described, if not the specific details, may be within reach of most non-vile dudes. Like many girls, she certainly treats her regulars well. (Sample size of one in my survey).

____
Now, if you’d like more NC-17 stuff starring this goddess that maybe you will or maybe you won’t quite experience, go to the Private Forum for some additional never-before-seen footage left on the cutting room floor for this theatrical release. That stuff is NOT for the public comments.
She was doing plenty of GFE in 2020!
 
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