Is it normal for wife to hate you after a baby?

[Micawber]

Figured this place was best to ask.

Wife and I just had a kid a month ago. Haven't had sex in four months. I've been nothing but obsequious and attentive towards her knowing her body is wracked by harmones.

But my God. Since she's had the baby, it's like she finds every reason to hate me. I bite my tongue, swallow my pride, apologize, pick up her favorite snacks, help with everything but breast feeding. It doesn't do shit. I'm still dog meat. I can ask her an innocent, basic question and I'll get a snarky response back just dropping with contempt. She was never like this before.

I've read this is common thing. Wives, for some reason, hate their husbands after giving birth. But I'm only human. I can only take the abuse for so long. Going to work every morning is akin to going on vacation. Coming home is like going to hell. If I didn't love the cute, little snot rocket so much I probably wouldn't come home at all.

Christ. Sorry for this rant. Does it get any better?

 

[krideynyc]

Postpartem Depression. It's a thing. Her hormones are out of whack.

Went through it each time my wife gave birth. It passed on its own. But sometimes help may be required.

 

[Micawber]

Postpartem Depression. It's a thing. Her hormones are out of whack.

Went through it each time my wife gave birth. It passed on its own. But sometimes help may be required.

I was expecting her to be occasionally moody like she was during the pregnancy but holy hell, it's like I can do nothing right. The looks she shoots me sometimes makes me wonder if I'm gonna wake up with a knife to my throat. And I can't pin point what I can do differently. I'm already bending over backwards for her.

 

[krideynyc]

Giving birth is a traumatic, and very painful, event. What worked for me is to constantly remind myself she's the Mother of my children.

 

[Micawber]

Giving birth is a traumatic, and very painful, event. What worked for me is to constantly remind myself she's the Mother of my children.

I like that. That's sound advice. Thank you sir.

 

[EliteVinChi]

Postpartum Depression is worst with new mothers. specially with the firstborn. My two sisters gave hell to their husbands' . So I know It's really hard. You need to spend more time with baby, give her some more space - tey both had to visit doctors and counseling. Better you get expert advice. Some mothers go to an extreme level of suicidal.

 

[krideynyc]

You should let the OB/GYN know at the next appointment the situation. They can help point you in the right direction.

 

[Zzzz]

Figured this place was best to ask.

Wife and I just had a kid a month ago. Haven't had sex in four months. I've been nothing but obsequious and attentive towards her knowing her body is wracked by harmones.

But my God. Since she's had the baby, it's like she finds every reason to hate me. I bite my tongue, swallow my pride, apologize, pick up her favorite snacks, help with everything but breast feeding. It doesn't do shit. I'm still dog meat. I can ask her an innocent, basic question and I'll get a snarky response back just dropping with contempt. She was never like this before.

I've read this is common thing. Wives, for some reason, hate their husbands after giving birth. But I'm only human. I can only take the abuse for so long. Going to work every morning is akin to going on vacation. Coming home is like going to hell. If I didn't love the cute, little snot rocket so much I probably wouldn't come home at all.

Christ. Sorry for this rant. Does it get any better?

PPD is real, but maybe she found out that you're seeing pros on the side and all of this is essentially passive-aggression?

 

[Micawber]

PPD is real, but maybe she found out that you're seeing pros on the side and all of this is essentially passive-aggression?

I've rarely gone out. I think it's been four times this whole year. Last time was back in May. I know for a fact that's not the case.

Not that I would brag to her about it but she's Japanese and for her, it's normal for husbands to have "business transactions" on the side. Again, I don't tell her about it.

 

[Micawber]

You should let the OB/GYN know at the next appointment the situation. They can help point you in the right direction.

She's got one coming up this week. I think I'll do that, but I don't want her to feel insulted or embarrassed.

 

[krideynyc]

She's got one coming up this week. I think I'll do that, but I don't want her to feel insulted or embarrassed.

It's worth it for both the child and your marriage. You can tell the OB/GYN discretely and let them handle it.

 

[Zzzz]

I've rarely gone out. I think it's been four times this whole year. Last time was back in May. I know for a fact that's not the case.

Not that I would brag to her about it but she's Japanese and for her, it's normal for husbands to have "business transactions" on the side. Again, I don't tell her about it.

Japanese women may not leave you if you cheat, but they will resent the hell out of you for all eternity.

 

[EliteVinChi]

Japanese women may not leave you if you cheat, but they will resent the hell out of you for all eternity.

Not Just a Japanse thing. It's an Asian thing.

 

[EliteVinChi]

She's got one coming up this week. I think I'll do that, but I don't want her to feel insulted or embarrassed.

It's not an insult, I assume her family is not in US? then it's going to be worse, Having a big support system is key to PPD recovery. Family is key.

 

[Koondog]

Not Just a Japanse thing. It's an Asian thing.

And yet talk to the average amp woman and you come to find out she's married. Guess a healthy dose of hypocrisy doesn't bother them too much.

 

[krideynyc]

And yet talk to the average amp woman and you come to find out she's married. Guess a healthy dose of hypocrisy doesn't bother them too much.

It's not hypocrisy when the husband knows what the wife is doing at the AMP to make the money she sends home.

Seriously? A guy is asking for help and all you do is to try to escalate an off-topic discussion?

 

[EliteVinChi]

And yet talk to the average amp woman and you come to find out she's married. Guess a healthy dose of hypocrisy doesn't bother them too much.

I guess in your world, every Asian woman worked at an AMP once in her life? Let's stick to the topic for the sake of dear member and his family. No offense intend.

 

[Koondog]

It's not hypocrisy when the husband knows what the wife is doing at the AMP to make the money she sends home.

Seriously? A guy is asking for help and all you do is to try to escalate an off-topic discussion?[/QUOTEhave

It's not hypocrisy when the husband knows what the wife is doing at the AMP to make the money she sends home.

Seriously? A guy is asking for help and all you do is to try to escalate an off-topic discussion?

What, have you taken a survey of Asian men to see how many of them k now of or approve of their wives whoring? Sorry, not following this thread closely at all here, just couldn't help but notice and laugh to hear of these girls holding cheating against men, that's rich with irony.

 

[Koondog]

I guess in your world, every Asian woman worked at an AMP once in her life? Let's stick to the topic for the sake of dear member and his family. No offense intend.

Well, on an amp board someone made a comment about Japanese women and a other about Asian women in general. Didn't realize it was out of bounds to throw in my observations about amp women. Don't see why those prior comments were on topic and mine not, since the topic had veered off into people's opinions on Asian women's views on cheating men. My bad apparently.

 

[krideynyc]

What, have you taken a survey of Asian men to see how many of them k now of or approve of their wives whoring?

The husbands know. Most of the time it's was a choice made together for the sake of the family.

Sorry, not following this thread closely at all here, just couldn't help but notice and laugh to hear of these girls holding cheating against men, that's rich with irony.

Again, if the husband knows, there's no irony. Chances are if the wife works at an AMP, being unfaithful is no longer an issue for either of them.