I need to vent about women

[PorterD]

Totally hear you, and at first, it was hard to fathom that you had ZERO possibilities, but then after digging into it, I didn't realize just how small your potential pool was.

I think, at 42 years of age, you SHOULD be picky...you don't want to just "settle". No need for you to waste time and money chasing someone that's not marriage, or even relationship material.

But definitely read the article that I mentioned, because it makes some good points about dating in general. And I think you might possibly have to expand your reach in other ways, even geographically. If you think about it, as we get older, the potential places to meet someone new is quite limited...it's either within your own circle of friends who can potentially introduce you (limited), or at work (which is usually not a good idea anyway), or at places that are part of your every day life (gyms, church (if you're religious), and other places.

Have you tried attending Meetup events that are catered to your interest? Whether that's golf or wine tasting or foodie groups...you like history and comic conventions...I'm sure you can find an event that's interesting to you. And not necessarily with the single goal of meeting new women, but just new people in general to expand your network. You should try to expand that circle of people you know, so that your pool has a shot of becoming larger.

I'm not suggesting you're doing a similar thing, but it's like looking for a new job...if all you're doing is just simply applying to job postings online, and not getting a call back for an interview, what do you do? Just sit there and hope something will turn up, or do you go out and send dozens of blind emails and phone calls and tap your network for leads, and then follow up again and again? The latter, I would hope, because one needs to be proactive and put in the time and effort to make things happen, instead of leaving it to chance. Why should it be any different for dating?

I wouldn't say online dating doesn't work...I would say it's a lot of work, and a lot of filtering, trial and error, and experimentation to come up with a strategy that works for you. But it's also not the be all, end all...think of it as just one tool in your arsenal...you have to utilize everything at your disposal, if you want to better your odds.

Thanks!

Yeah- it’s good to be picky with any long term relationship. Casual sex or even casual dating- there are tons more options. It doesn’t matter much at all. But long term? Different story altogether.

I will check out that article. I do get out to a lot of these events but I always strike out. I was actually had a comic convention a couple weeks ago and struck up a conversation with a woman in line and it was great and then she literally just walked off mid conversation. It’s always stuff like that. I’ve actually had quite a few women literally just abruptly walk off. It doesn’t go anywhere. There is no interest. It’s not that I’m bad looking or weird. It’s just how things are.

I agree that online dating can work but it’s work if you just go on there and like a bunch of profiles you won’t get much. Most women on there get 5000 likes a month. They don’t see you.

 

[이 회장님]

Thanks!

Yeah- it’s good to be picky with any long term relationship. Casual sex or even casual dating- there are tons more options. It doesn’t matter much at all. But long term? Different story altogether.

I will check out that article. I do get out to a lot of these events but I always strike out. I was actually had a comic convention a couple weeks ago and struck up a conversation with a woman in line and it was great and then she literally just walked off mid conversation. It’s always stuff like that. I’ve actually had quite a few women literally just abruptly walk off. It doesn’t go anywhere. There is no interest. It’s not that I’m bad looking or weird. It’s just how things are.

I agree that online dating can work but it’s work if you just go on there and like a bunch of profiles you won’t get much. Most women on there get 5000 likes a month. They don’t see you.

Next time you talk to a lady, assume that she likes you, have a comfortable body language and smile more. This is what I do when I talk to them.

And work on whatever makes you stand out from the rest of the guys.

 

[TIskier]

Next time you talk to a lady, assume that she likes you, have a comfortable body language and smile more. This is what I do when I talk to them.

And work on whatever makes you stand out from the rest of the guys.

Good advice.

I will add: always, always, always work on yourself. Don't worry about other men or women. Get really really really good at something and people will notice, appreciate and admire you for it. More importantly, they will be interested in you for a specific reason. Don't go into situations with the sole objective of “love/hooking up/etc” - it's obvious and reeks of desperation.

Love (for me) has always happened organically after meeting people with a common goal or interested where we find mutual admiration/attraction for one another which is NOT based solely on initial physical attraction.

Dating apps & cold call pickup lines in random situations require much more luck for a perfect situation (coming across a randomly horny woman) those situations are awkward and cumbersome for the most socially adept creatures and don't give an accurate representation of “normal” dating.

Good luck. Don't blame society/woman/men. Relax, it ain't all that serious.

 

[PorterD]

Today im reminded just how much easier it is for women. 30 something year old married woman in my office who is maybe a 6 out of 10.

The thirsty beta males basically form a line at her desk to talk to her. There is a dude there now. In 20 minutes it will be another one.

she loves the attention and validation but she won’t sleep with any of them.

Men literally have none of that. Ever. Unless they are a famous hot celebrity.

 

[VJLUTZ]

Today im reminded just how much easier it is for women. 30 something year old married woman in my office who is maybe a 6 out if 10.

The thirst beta males basically form a line at her desk to talk to her. There is a dude there now. In 20 minutes it will be another one.

she loves the attention and validation but she don’t sleep with any of them.

Funny you should bring this up. I've seen this happen more than a few times too. In fact, I see a major case of this now with one woman in my office.

This woman is married, mid-20s and would rate her a 6 or 7. Even so, she is able to wrap many (but not all) of the men she interacts with around her little finger. Sometimes, she will go out on long, 1:1 lunches with selected male acolytes. It is definitely like they have unrequited crushes on her. And some of these guys are likewise married. This can be a problem as it gives her far more influence than she normally should have.

One thing you have to remember though is that she will lose this power as she ages. After 40, it will be gone. And that is the great equalizer. Some men can age like wine, but nearly all women age like milk (or fish). Especially the non-East Asians.

 

[PorterD]

Funny you should bring this up. I've seen this happen more than a few times too. In fact, I see a major case of this now with one woman in my office.

This woman is married, mid-20s and would rate her a 6 or 7. Even so, she is able to wrap many (but not all) of the men she interacts with around her little finger. Sometimes, she will go out on long, 1:1 lunches with selected male acolytes. It is definitely like they have unrequited crushes on her. And some of these guys are likewise married. This can be a problem as it gives her far more influence than she normally should have.

One thing you have to remember though is that she will lose this power as she ages. After 40, it will be gone. And that is the great equalizer. Some men can age like wine, but nearly all women age like milk (or fish). Especially the non-East Asians.

This is so true. And this is exactly how the woman in my office operates. She wants every decent looking guy wrapped around her fingers. She has certainly tried it with me too.

It’s also true that it eventually goes away as women age. This woman in my office is clearly at the stage where it worries her how much longer she has- so she needs the validation to reaffirm it.

 

[Whizzard]

Funny you should bring this up. I've seen this happen more than a few times too. In fact, I see a major case of this now with one woman in my office.

This woman is married, mid-20s and would rate her a 6 or 7. Even so, she is able to wrap many (but not all) of the men she interacts with around her little finger. Sometimes, she will go out on long, 1:1 lunches with selected male acolytes. It is definitely like they have unrequited crushes on her. And some of these guys are likewise married. This can be a problem as it gives her far more influence than she normally should have.

One thing you have to remember though is that she will lose this power as she ages. After 40, it will be gone. And that is the great equalizer. Some men can age like wine, but nearly all women age like milk (or fish). Especially the non-East Asians.

Regarding your last sentence.

As the late, great Patrice O’Neill once quipped.

Middle aged women are like an open box of Cracker Jacks. They have already been picked through, they’re half stale, and the prize is gone!

 

[VJLUTZ]

This is so true. And this is exactly how the woman in my office operates. She wants every decent looking guy wrapped around her fingers. She has certainly tried it with me too.

It’s also true that it eventually goes away as women age. This woman in my office is clearly at the stage where it worries her how much longer she has- so she needs the validation to reaffirm it.

I also can't help but wonder if these women are looking for a better "deal" than they are currently getting from their husbands. I don't interact with this woman a lot and don't know much about her husband (except that he has some kind of white collar job). But from the way she is acting, it does seem like she is fishing around for a Plan B. She also has no kids.

 

[solomon_456]

I also can't help but wonder if these women are looking for a better "deal" than they are currently getting from their husbands. I don't interact with this woman a lot and don't know much about her husband (except that he has some kind of white collar job). But from the way she is acting, it does seem like she is fishing around for a Plan B. She also has no kids.

Usually it’s just for the attention and validation

 

[markkennedy]

Today im reminded just how much easier it is for women.

Yes so true, I'm dealing with one of these women in my plant right now. Clerk in accounting, cute, 22yrs, curvy, big bobs big butt, fat pussy, wears tight yogapants for maximum cameltoe, etc.

But, we are talking about different things. Because dudes are swarming her desk, is this "success"? Is she blowing any of them? Getting fucked? Getting her pictures hung at her house? Going on romantic dates with future husband? For me, I enjoy female attention, so I'd like chicks to be puppy dogging my office, but I'm still no fucking them so this isn't 'easy". Shes in same boat you are, sure she can't say she's "invisible to men", but still what is the result?

 

[PorterD]

Yes so true, I'm dealing with one of these women in my plant right now. Clerk in accounting, cute, 22yrs, curvy, big bobs big butt, fat pussy, wears tight yogapants for maximum cameltoe, etc.

But, we are talking about different things. Because dudes are swarming her desk, is this "success"? Is she blowing any of them? Getting fucked? Getting her pictures hung at her house? Going on romantic dates with future husband? For me, I enjoy female attention, so I'd like chicks to be puppy dogging my office, but I'm still no fucking them so this isn't 'easy". Shes in same boat you are, sure she can't say she's "invisible to men", but still what is the result?

Ah yes… the whole tight yoga pants thing hiked up her crotch. I know that one…

These are all really great points. The way you lay it out we are in the same boat. Because she’s getting the attention but she’s also giving it. So I’m getting that same bit of attention hit as her. Only difference is; I’m not playing her game. Which in turn makes her want to play it harder. Just today she said to me “I bet you like cuddles” definitely upping the ante a little.

 

[이 회장님]

I keep things strictly professional with all of my female colleagues. I’m already stressed out with the NBA playoffs so I don’t need any more from a female colleague. lol

 

[markkennedy]

I keep things strictly professional with all of my female colleagues. I’m already stressed out with the NBA playoffs so I don’t need any more from a female colleague. lol

100%, I have extremely strict rule about personal relationship in workplace. I eye her up every time she comes to my office, but that's where it ends. If I had instead met her like at grocery store, I'd already have been up in those Lane Bryant stretch pants. Fucking amazing thing to look at! For me it's extremely lucky she's a clerk to the accounting dept, so my interaction with her is small; if she were MY clerk, omg. My clerk is umm a very 5+ old lady. I'd bang her, but it doesn't really enter my head, ever.

Sometimes when HR dept invites me to join them during a high-value hiring meeting, I walk in, see cute lady or hot chick, and I walk right out like I forgot something, then text the HR girl and tell her I got called to the other side of the plant or something. If I were doing the hiring exclusively, lol my whole plant would be 50 year old AMP ladies

 

[markkennedy]

Ah yes… the whole tight yoga pants thing hiked up her crotch. I know that one…

These are all really great points. The way you lay it out we are in the same boat. Because she’s getting the attention but she’s also giving it. So I’m getting that same bit of attention hit as her. Only difference is; I’m not playing her game. Which in turn makes her want to play it harder. Just today she said to me “I bet you like cuddles” definitely upping the ante a little.

And you know, I might be way off base with this opinion slash observation, but I feel like a lot of girls and guys have symptoms of some mental illness where they can't or won't make eye contact with other people or talk directly to them or touch them or even point their body plane toward them. I know there is a disease that has these symptoms but I don't remember the name. I see it all the time with young people, they just will not look you in the eye! For me, this kind of thing implies either weakness or subterfuge or both, neither of which are attractive qualities to me. I can imagine a bar or club scene of all 20 somethings with this kind of affliction, I'd be surprised if ANY fucking is happening at all!

To your point, when my sister was coming into her own, like middle school or so, she started dressing kind of whorey. Mother used to tell her, "if you're no selling, don't advertise!" Girls who openly suck up the attention but never put out, you can smell them a mile away and that's coincidentally the distance you ought to stay. If that girl in your office IS putting out, ok you can play the game and take her to the fifth floor handicapped bathroom no one knows about, but more likely she's just enjoying men drooling. Might go to Staples and have some business cards printed up that just have the OF logo on them, nothing else, and leave them on her desk when she's no looking. Gals like her would be PERFECT for OF, always be advertising but never be selling

 

[PorterD]

And you know, I might be way off base with this opinion slash observation, but I feel like a lot of girls and guys have symptoms of some mental illness where they can't or won't make eye contact with other people or talk directly to them or touch them or even point their body plane toward them. I know there is a disease that has these symptoms but I don't remember the name. I see it all the time with young people, they just will not look you in the eye! For me, this kind of thing implies either weakness or subterfuge or both, neither of which are attractive qualities to me. I can imagine a bar or club scene of all 20 somethings with this kind of affliction, I'd be surprised if ANY fucking is happening at all!

To your point, when my sister was coming into her own, like middle school or so, she started dressing kind of whorey. Mother used to tell her, "if you're no selling, don't advertise!" Girls who openly suck up the attention but never put out, you can smell them a mile away and that's coincidentally the distance you ought to stay. If that girl in your office IS putting out, ok you can play the game and take her to the fifth floor handicapped bathroom no one knows about, but more likely she's just enjoying men drooling. Might go to Staples and have some business cards printed up that just have the OF logo on them, nothing else, and leave them on her desk when she's no looking. Gals like her would be PERFECT for OF, always be advertising but never be selling

Yes! I’ve run across quite a few women now who are just socially inept and awkward. I had one I was talking to; super cute; I was into her; but she couldn’t have a conversation, kept looking at the ground, didn’t ask questions, and giggled uncontrollably. It’s a shame because I was close to asking her out but in mind I’m thinking: if it’s this painful to have a 5 minute chat; how bad is a date going to be? And it wasn’t like she wasn’t interested. I found out from a mutual friend she was. But many women I encounter; just can’t seem to handle things. I started to think; is she autistic?

This woman at work I definitely don’t think she is banging any of these guys. I can read it pretty well. Biggest cue was the day she went over to a group of women (I overheard the conversation) and announced that a guy just told her that she had a nice personality and she wondered what that meant…. But what she was really doing was rubbing it in the faces of the female coworkers . That’s all attention driven; there isn’t any sex there imo. She is such a snake in the grass.

 

[AutomaticSlim]

I know there is a disease that has these symptoms but I don't remember the name.

Social Anxiety or in the more extreme form, Avoidant Personality Disorder.
I don't know if it is a mental illness/disease though, like Schizophrenia or BPD, which they use drugs to treat.
But then again, they have drugs for just about anything these day, and the medical community seems to love prescribing them, so it would not surprise me.

 

[markkennedy]

Yes! I’ve run across quite a few women now who are just socially inept and awkward. I had one I was talking to; super cute; I was into her; but she couldn’t have a conversation, kept looking at the ground, didn’t ask questions, and giggled uncontrollably. It’s a shame because I was close to asking her out but in mind I’m thinking: if it’s this painful to have a 5 minute chat; how bad is a date going to be? And it wasn’t like she wasn’t interested. I found out from a mutual friend she was. But many women I encounter; just can’t seem to handle things. I started to think; is she autistic?.

Yes that's the one I was thinking of, autistic! They say it can come from environmental exposure to chemicals in the womb, and or from older ladies giving birth with their last few spoiled eggs (this goes to thing argued here recently about women wanting to be "free" to do their "career", ending up 40 and wanting kids, then dooming those kids to a life of bad from being of a rotten old lady egg). Both of which would characterize a good portion of the last two generations.

The thing you talk about, I can see how a man, a non-thinking man, might take the observation you make of this kind of woman and see that she is no interested, or sees him as invisible, and then put this as either women are shitty or he's no qualified. But in reality, is HER social ineptitude, and in other scenario girl may seem completely interested. Again this is part of reading signal, something I see many men and women today, 20s and 30s ones, have exactly no skill at. Of course my Army training in intelligence I see even a small movement of nostril or eyebrow and read this code with other signal, but this is the extreme. I watch dudes I am wingman'ing, and their game is solid, until it comes to the fourth quarter, girl is in the coy giving signals portion of the event, and they lose the whole thing because she won't right out ask "hey let's go to my place so you can lick me from stem to stern", and the dude can't read the signal, possibly instead taking it as cuck flirting or outright polite rejection. Misreading signals I see this so much, lots of dudes let pussy slip from their fingers because men and women don't know how to properly talk to each other and make non-verbal communication. Part of this comes from the socialization that used to happen, like my grandfather actively "training" me in the art of pussy hunting. I think a lot of dudes and women aren't getting this kind of thing, they just see on tv or movie that hot dude walks into bar and chats hot girl and thirty seconds later he's pounding her against the wall of the stall in the bathroom. They missed the whole middle part of the story! Regular non-movie dude tries this and after a hundred times of it no working because he doesn't know the middle part, maybe he concludes that "women are bad", or the he's defective or something.

 

[TIskier]

Ah yes… the whole tight yoga pants thing hiked up her crotch. I know that one…

These are all really great points. The way you lay it out we are in the same boat. Because she’s getting the attention but she’s also giving it. So I’m getting that same bit of attention hit as her. Only difference is; I’m not playing her game. Which in turn makes her want to play it harder. Just today she said to me “I bet you like cuddles” definitely upping the ante a little.

Dude, you’ve been complaining for four months about how you can’t get attention from women. How you’re invisible. This woman sends some vibes your way and your reaction is to mock and belittle her for it?

Lighten up. Wrap with her a bit maybe there is the off chance that you’ll like and understand her more if you do. She’s not an “10”, big deal neither are you. Everyone has their own little bag of insecurities and faults, don’t be so judgy.

This little scenario paints a very vivid and telling picture of why you are in the predicament you are.

 

[PorterD]

Dude, you’ve been complaining for four months about how you can’t get attention from women. How you’re invisible. This woman sends some vibes your way and your reaction is to mock and belittle her for it?

Lighten up. Wrap with her a bit maybe there is the off chance that you’ll like and understand her more if you do. She’s not an “10”, big deal neither are you. Everyone has their own little bag of insecurities and faults, don’t be so judgy.

This little scenario paints a very vivid and telling picture of why you are in the predicament you are.

Maybe you missed the part where she was married? I don’t seriously date married women. She also has kids apparently. Definitely a no go.

Entirely different ballgame if she was single. But it brings up another point; most women in my age range…….
arent

 

[PorterD]

Yes that's the one I was thinking of, autistic! They say it can come from environmental exposure to chemicals in the womb, and or from older ladies giving birth with their last few spoiled eggs (this goes to thing argued here recently about women wanting to be "free" to do their "career", ending up 40 and wanting kids, then dooming those kids to a life of bad from being of a rotten old lady egg). Both of which would characterize a good portion of the last two generations.

The thing you talk about, I can see how a man, a non-thinking man, might take the observation you make of this kind of woman and see that she is no interested, or sees him as invisible, and then put this as either women are shitty or he's no qualified. But in reality, is HER social ineptitude, and in other scenario girl may seem completely interested. Again this is part of reading signal, something I see many men and women today, 20s and 30s ones, have exactly no skill at. Of course my Army training in intelligence I see even a small movement of nostril or eyebrow and read this code with other signal, but this is the extreme. I watch dudes I am wingman'ing, and their game is solid, until it comes to the fourth quarter, girl is in the coy giving signals portion of the event, and they lose the whole thing because she won't right out ask "hey let's go to my place so you can lick me from stem to stern", and the dude can't read the signal, possibly instead taking it as cuck flirting or outright polite rejection. Misreading signals I see this so much, lots of dudes let pussy slip from their fingers because men and women don't know how to properly talk to each other and make non-verbal communication. Part of this comes from the socialization that used to happen, like my grandfather actively "training" me in the art of pussy hunting. I think a lot of dudes and women aren't getting this kind of thing, they just see on tv or movie that hot dude walks into bar and chats hot girl and thirty seconds later he's pounding her against the wall of the stall in the bathroom. They missed the whole middle part of the story! Regular non-movie dude tries this and after a hundred times of it no working because he doesn't know the middle part, maybe he concludes that "women are bad", or the he's defective or something.

Thanks for your informative post. I totally agree.

In the case of the aforementioned “autistic woman“ I will fully admit that I totally screwed up. Now it might not of worked anyway. But I needed to shoot my shot. And I didn’t- and that was dumb. I really like this woman; and I just needed to ask her out regardless and I’m still kicking myself to death that I didn’t.

Like I said; these opportunities come around maybe once a year- that was an opportunity I blew. Wish I could have a do over.