Helping A Provider

[Jackboner]

I predict very few would step up to that challenge.

Another approach is to simply tip your companion more, especially if they're working at an AMP, where they're only making about 140-200 per customer.

Acknowledge quality, but the reaction shouldn't simply be, "I'm getting a bargain here". We should all be putting our money where our mouth is and rewarding quality more fairly.

I provided assistance to a Chinese provider and helped her get a Canada Goose winter coat in 2018. That was my gift to her. No sex was exchanged The old coat she had was ripped and torn and not keeping her warm. She was ecstatic. Also, took this same person to lunch and dinner. (Contrary to popular belief, she was able to leave the spa and go out without issue).
Helped her understand the summons the spa received from the landlord of the building threatening eviction. Eventually the spa closed later that year and she relocated to Queens and I haven't heard from her since.

 

[Zzzz]

I provided assistance to a Chinese provider and helped her get a Canada Goose winter coat in 2018. That was my gift to her. No sex was exchanged The old coat she had was ripped and torn and not keeping her warm. She was ecstatic. Also, took this same person to lunch and dinner. (Contrary to popular belief, she was able to leave the spa and go out without issue).
Helped her understand the summons the spa received from the landlord of the building threatening eviction. Eventually the spa closed later that year and she relocated to Queens and I haven't heard from her since.

It sounds like you were quite generous to her, and so it's somewhat surprising that she appears to have ghosted on you.

As I said, self-serving interests exist on both sides of the fence. Having the means to assist, it's a safe bet not to expect anything in return.

 

[Jackboner]

It sounds like you were quite generous to her, and so it's somewhat surprising that she appears to have ghosted on you.

As I said, self-serving interests exist on both sides of the fence. Having the means to assist, it's a safe bet not to expect anything in return.

I understand the game and am not surprised. She had a daughter in China and was sharing an apartment in Flushing with a friend. Who knows what she really was going through. I did what I felt was right. I hope she’s wearing her coat in good health.

 

[hamilton2015]

Truth is, we can sometimes ease into thinking that these girls are normal, because they are hot and charming and in many cases present fairly well. But it is useful to remember that many have serious mental health issues and trauma lurking in the background.

This is so true. When you really speak to them in a way that goes beyond the facade, you can always see the signs. I have seen blogs from providers who stress how empowering sex work is and how liberating it is. But I would counter, what are the underlying issues which lead women to go into this field, are they receiving any type of healthy treatment/support from the trauma or impact from sleeping with so many men day in and day out. If you think about the latina or asian fast houses, how many people these women see....it certainly takes a psychological and physical toll which often goes unaddressed.

I suspect this even applies to girls who charge thousands of dollars, the inablity to cope/unrealistic expectations of relationships/self-worth tied to materialistic things/etc. If anyone is able to come out of this work with out issues, they are very lucky.

Although, I wonder if culture can play a role in this. Latina providers are often married, will come to the US to make money and then go back home to their husbands or significant others without a concern. But, it probably affects them as well if they are doing this for any significant period of time.

 

[hamilton2015]

Collateral damage is unavoidable, I agree. However, if one cares about a particular provider, then offer her financial assistance without the sex. Maybe you’ll make a real friend. ( probably not). Who can step up and do that while putting aside their own self-serving interest?

The thing is, very rarely will they be a real friend. Very few will appreciate the token of friendship and true friendship conists of mutual expressions of genuine concern. I saw a post a high-end posted on twitter before christmas which stated their are people in dire need who are much more deserving of the $400+ appreciations given to providers and who will be much more thankful.

 

[Zzzz]

The thing is, very rarely will they be a real friend. Very few will appreciate the token of friendship and true friendship conists of mutual expressions of genuine concern. I saw a post a high-end posted on twitter before christmas which stated their are people in dire need who are much more deserving of the $400+ appreciations given to providers and who will be much more thankful.

Not only mutual expression of genuine concern. I think there is a sacrificial element to friendship that these gals are rarely willing to demonstrate.

Anyone who genuinely cares for another person is willing to go above and beyond for that person (inconveniencing themselves in certain cases).

Guys describe showering these gals in gifts to win their affection, but rarely do they create the opportunity for the gal to demonstrate what she is willing to give back to the relationship.

 

[puffin]

My brother just say NO , NO , and NO . step away from headaches coming to you if you help this chick Casue she is asking other dudes with the same lines . Happy 2020

Yep. Rub one out and re-read her letters. Use whatever money she wants to go to a spa. This is the same dog and pony show that you get on eBay before a scam is set up. This works a thousand times better when you are thinking with your wiener.

 

[puffin]

Not only mutual expression of genuine concern. I think there is a sacrificial element to friendship that these gals are rarely willing to demonstrate.

Anyone who genuinely cares for another person is willing to go above and beyond for that person (inconveniencing themselves in certain cases).

Guys describe showering these gals in gifts to win their affection, but rarely do they create the opportunity for the gal to demonstrate what she is willing to give back to the relationship.

The above is 1000 percent true.

There's a little trick psychologists and grandmas know; paying for a gift that is expensive but with no resale value, like a vacation is much more preferable for the giver over a never ending stream of material gifts like jewelry. They demonstrate generosity without materially benefitting the receiver. The advice is usually applied to the case of dating.

 

[Koondog]

Not only mutual expression of genuine concern. I think there is a sacrificial element to friendship that these gals are rarely willing to demonstrate.

Anyone who genuinely cares for another person is willing to go above and beyond for that person (inconveniencing themselves in certain cases).

Guys describe showering these gals in gifts to win their affection, but rarely do they create the opportunity for the gal to demonstrate what she is willing to give back to the relationship.

"but rarely do they create the opportunity for the gal to demonstrate what she is willing to give back to the relationship."

True. I have had some amp girls ask me if I wanted to be their boyfriend. Some of them said one condition would be that I would have to give them money. Who puts a condition like that on dating? I said to one of them "what if I said to you, one of MY conditions is that you need to give ME money"? What makes YOU so special? You don't make enough money from the multiple guys you fuck every day, you need MY money too???"

Needless to say THAT one didn't work out. Any girl who expects handout payments from a BF is not interested in any kind of good faith reciprocal relationship. When it's all about them and you're a just an affable ATM to them it's time to bail before you even start.

 

[puffin]

,..Some of them said one condition would be that I would have to give them money...

I give her points for up front honesty.

 

[Jackboner]

All these posts are very interesting. Sex work does not empower or liberate women. Quite the opposite. They believe this only to rationalize their behavior. From what I’ve learned speaking to providers, most have had bad experiences with men in their lives and they turn to sex work as a way to get back at men, that is taking the most money and gifts and whatever they can get. Because they’ve been hurt, their feeling of self worth is diminished and they don’t want to commit to a relationship. It’s a shame this happens.

 

[dbiz2]

Has anyone ever experienced a provider asking them for help and if so what did you do?

A Latina provider was let go from a place I use to see her at. We had exchanged numbers and we would talk periodically. I would ask her sometimes about seeing her at a hotel but she said that she didn't like going to hotels and didn't seem open to seeing me for an outcall otherwise. Anyways she text me a week ago apologizing for being distant but she has had some money trouble since losing extra money from not working at a spa and just doing uber now.

I know she was interested in psychology and social work so I was able to secure her an interview at my company and she just had to send her resume which I told her I would help her with. She said it was a great idea but she never followed up with me on it.

Today she asked if I could help her with $500.00 and help with her resume because the heat in her house is off and she had to use money to fix her car. She told me she felt really ashamed to ask. I told her I can't give her 500 like that and maybe I can see what I can do but I will help with her resume. She told me she doesn't really have help from people in her life. I told her I understand and can try to help but mentioned that it made me feel weird since she never wants to meet up when ever I had asked and didn't follow up with the job offer previously. I didn't get a response .

What would you guys do? (I'm not going to give her 500 since we aren't friends like that and i feel she is trying to take advantage of my kindness but I will help with her resume is she is serious about it). Part of me felt bad telling her I'd give her 500 if we did few hour outcall session since she was in a lurch so I didn't suggest that. And no she didn't mention anything about paying me back or offering a session for the money either...she just wanted me to help if I could.

Don't do it. Let her be.

 

[instinctsrtrue]

All these posts are very interesting. Sex work does not empower or liberate women. Quite the opposite. They believe this only to rationalize their behavior. From what I’ve learned speaking to providers, most have had bad experiences with men in their lives and they turn to sex work as a way to get back at men, that is taking the most money and gifts and whatever they can get. Because they’ve been hurt, their feeling of self worth is diminished and they don’t want to commit to a relationship. It’s a shame this happens.

Can you elaborate on why sex work enables them to get back at men?

Why can’t they commit to relationships? A fear of intimacy or getting hurt?

 

[Bigjay430]

she’s just interested in the cash brother. Women do this to guys that show interest & try to pull them for a sucker. It’s happened to me before so I speak for experience.

 

[Zzzz]

All these posts are very interesting. Sex work does not empower or liberate women. Quite the opposite. They believe this only to rationalize their behavior. From what I’ve learned speaking to providers, most have had bad experiences with men in their lives and they turn to sex work as a way to get back at men, that is taking the most money and gifts and whatever they can get. Because they’ve been hurt, their feeling of self worth is diminished and they don’t want to commit to a relationship. It’s a shame this happens.

It definitely isn’t empowering. I know one gal on twitter who routinely speaks about empowerment, but she also suffered sexual abuse, is hooked on ketamine and attends therapy a few times per week. There are some broken souls who find their way into this life.

And, there will never be enough Louis Vuitton or Chanel to fill the void.

Most lie to themselves, alter their perception of reality to cope with the pains of existing in this lifestyle.

At least independent gals have some self agency. Not the AMP gals, who are left to service whoever walks into the door - but they also have the immigrant mindset that helps them build up some resiliency to the trauma.

But, after awhile, the gal cracks. You can’t go through 5+ guys a day for months on end without eventually cracking.

 

[Jackboner]

Can you elaborate on why sex work enables them to get back at men?

Why can’t they commit to relationships? A fear of intimacy or getting hurt?

Sex work makes them feel powerful because in their minds they are using their bodies to make money off of men. But eventually it takes a toll. The strong ones make enough money and get out early enough and move on. Those who are in the game for years are damaged emotionally and physically. I know this from experience. I agree that independent gals can control who,and how many clients they want to,see. The AMP girls have it worse, having to,service multiple strange men every day.

I believe prostitution desensitizes women and they are unable to,have a relationship. It’s all about sex for money.

 

[puffin]

I think usually it's corrosive to a woman's self esteem, but I'm not big on absolute statements. Looking at Tryst etc, it seems there are women who run their own upscale "companionship" business at thousands per hour, but they would need a unique skill set to be sought out by the super rich (one percent of one percent). A girl who was simply the hottest in her high school couldn't pull that off with a smile and average social skills. Down the scale, the girls who eek by are another story; I know people who can't hold a regular job due to subtle psychological issues. You can call them lazy, short tempered or whatever, but I am convinced there are some people who could never pull off a 9 to 5 job. A girl can rent pussy or sugar, but a guy might be reduced to collecting empties, theft, dealing or pimping. As Chappelle once said: "Q: True or false, pimping is hard? A: Yes, then A: No - Oddly enough both answers are correct!"

 

[hamilton2015]

I think usually it's corrosive to a woman's self esteem, but I'm not big on absolute statements. Looking at Tryst etc, it seems there are women who run their own upscale "companionship" business at thousands per hour, but they would need a unique skill set to be sought out by the super rich (one percent of one percent). A girl who was simply the hottest in her high school couldn't pull that off with a smile and average social skills. Down the scale, the girls who eek by are another story; I know people who can't hold a regular job due to subtle psychological issues. You can call them lazy, short tempered or whatever, but I am convinced there are some people who could never pull off a 9 to 5 job. A girl can rent pussy or sugar, but a guy might be reduced to collecting empties, theft, dealing or pimping. As Chappelle once said: "Q: True or false, pimping is hard? A: Yes, then A: No - Oddly enough both answers are correct!"

True, there are never absolutes but even woman who are running their own upscale companionship business are still selling and doing the same thing that women on the lower end of the scale are doing. Perhaps because of the clientele they are serving, their facade might be more sturdy but they still run into same problems regarding emotional issues, warped perceptions, struggles in forming meaningful personal relationships, etc.

A CEO can be very successful and fit in upperclass social circles, doesn't change the fact that some can have very abusive personalities or psychopathic tendencies which are masked because of mediums in which these characterisitcs are directed.

 

[hamilton2015]

I think usually it's corrosive to a woman's self esteem, but I'm not big on absolute statements. Looking at Tryst etc, it seems there are women who run their own upscale "companionship" business at thousands per hour, but they would need a unique skill set to be sought out by the super rich (one percent of one percent). A girl who was simply the hottest in her high school couldn't pull that off with a smile and average social skills. Down the scale, the girls who eek by are another story; I know people who can't hold a regular job due to subtle psychological issues. You can call them lazy, short tempered or whatever, but I am convinced there are some people who could never pull off a 9 to 5 job. A girl can rent pussy or sugar, but a guy might be reduced to collecting empties, theft, dealing or pimping. As Chappelle once said: "Q: True or false, pimping is hard? A: Yes, then A: No - Oddly enough both answers are correct!"

And you are right that a woman who is organized, intelligent, professional with excellent vocational skills will do well in a regular 9-5 or working as a companion while others who have vocational issues or are unprofessional, will be so in a 9-5 or working as a companion. But the toll associated with seeing so many men or having sex for money will affect these women regardless of where they fall on the service spectrum, unless they are fortunate.

 

[Kingfish411]

Miss with all this providers have it so bad bullshit. They are trading off on their youth and ability to attract a decent man for loot. Go on P

"but rarely do they create the opportunity for the gal to demonstrate what she is willing to give back to the relationship."

True. I have had some amp girls ask me if I wanted to be their boyfriend. Some of them said one condition would be that I would have to give them money. Who puts a condition like that on dating? I said to one of them "what if I said to you, one of MY conditions is that you need to give ME money"? What makes YOU so special? You don't make enough money from the multiple guys you fuck every day, you need MY money too???"

Needless to say THAT one didn't work out. Any girl who expects handout payments from a BF is not interested in any kind of good faith reciprocal relationship. When it's all about them and you're a just an affable ATM to them it's time to bail before you even start.

I think you and AP girls have different notion of what BF means. Fro them you are not paying per use but will pay thru the ass nevertheless. Providers are women that use men for money. Unless you can either psychologically or sexually completely dominate one and make her yours you will just be a cash cow sucker whether she calls you her boyfriend or not. In the end it is much cheaper paying per use and having freedom to see whoever else you choose. Unless you are a cuck why would you want your GF fucking multiple dudes daily?