Conversation with SO

[ayatola]

Guys:

I used to dabble in the hobby, would indulge a small handful of times a year for about 10 years when I was single, when I was in a relationship I didn't really have the need to monger. During the pandemic I was single for almost 18 months. Once these places opened I was going often, really got into it, budgeted it, and loved it. I have been with a great girl for 6 months and I was being satisfied regularly.I love this girl but like all relationships things wane. I shouldn't complain, still going at it about twice a week. With this drop I've felt a strong urge to work in some mongering again.

This girl is open and European. She knows I used to engage in the hobby up until we started dating and had 0 problem with it. She's also not an uninhibited libertine freak on a leash, conservative and professional woman. I don't like to cheat and wouldn't. I'm considering asking her for permission to monger again. I honestly don't know how she will react. Have any of you guys had this conversation with your wife or girlfriend? Do any of you have an arrangement in your relationship? Is this just a terrible idea?

I'm 32, she's 34 and we are both conventionally attractive.

 

[Camaro13]

I've found its better to ask forgiveness than it is to ask permission.

 

[JerryGarcia]

I don't know your relationship, but I don't see that convo going well. I foresee her getting insecure about herself, the 'ol "What, I'm not enough for you?" convo ensuing, followed by rage.

 

[itwasntme]

I say go for it. The worst that can happen is you lose your relationship, which let's be honest, is destined to happen eventually if she can't accept hobbying. So there's mostly just upside here.

 

[MSeries7]

Why not ask her to join in the fun with you?

 

[TripleD116]

Don’t do it… like the previous gentleman said it will create major insecurities with her if you want her to stick around and work.

 

[whtwrth]

Most girls will want reciprocity. Are you ok with her picking up random guys?

 

[Bultaco103]

The reality is when you initially let her know you occasionally got some massage action that was the point she would have told you she’s OK with it.
I had a similar thing and my SO said well it that something that made you happy in the past I would never want you to stop doing it just because we are now together. It obviously is something therapeutic for you and you should continue doing it. Hopefully, not too much!
So if she didn’t offer back then chances are she might not bo on board. I have worked at trying to find an Amp that will do her too so we can both enjoy a great massage w/Extras. if I were in your shoes I’d casually bring up your past and just say you miss getting the occasional massage and see where it goes. If you are a happy couple it makes sense that you both want to do what makes life more beneficial

 

[24returns]

I've been in relationships with woman that were working in mps and ive always ask them Can I, or if you have a problem with me going to your job see someone from your job. They always told me "sure if you want" or "i dont care". Well I learn those two things mean in other words you better not go. And if you ask and they say "NO" that means in other words HELL NO! I've went without telling them the day I was going to see their co worker and they were pissed but they are also friends with them and know them and no they know they don't do extras or touch clients inappropriately. I think the problem I had is that their colleagues who I saw would brag about me and how good and young I look which got them more jealous.

The girls were insecure i don't know if about your relationship with her i wouldn't ask or discuss to possibility of going with my S/O

 

[TIskier]

Yes, terrible idea.

 

[foggy79]

I have worked at trying to find an Amp that will do her too so we can both enjoy a great massage w/Extras.

Any luck on that?

 

[Bultaco103]

Any luck on that?

Sure, it requires I go to check them out so the research is great fun

 

[nyfunguy]

Take her with you.

 

[Bultaco103]

Take her with you.

That can backfire as is they don’t want to massage a female they sometimes don’t want to do much for the guy either.

 

[Casinofire1]

Oh my boy lol

 

[Poptawt]

No one here can really tell you how bad of an idea this is because every person is different. Sure in general this seems like the type of thing an SO would want no parts in, but we live in an increasingly progressive society. Especially in NYC.

The fact that she knows this is something that you engaged in, enjoyed, and she doesn’t have any negative feelings toward you for it that you know of is probably a leg up on most people. The best thing you can do is explain to her why you want to do it again, why you want her permission, and just ask. If she has concerns, come up with and explain ways to mitigate them. Know that her health is something that you will have to greatly consider in all of this. If you were getting any bb services you should 100% give them up. You can’t let any of this change anything in your relationship, or it will immediately go south. If she says no, then it’s a no. And then you’ll have a decision to make. Whatever you do, do not press her to change her mind. If she says yes, and then later she changes her mind then she has the right to do that.

At the end of the day you know her better than any stranger on the Internet would. From what you’ve said she doesn’t seem like a person who would outright leave you for bringing this up. So just be honest.

 

[Uniquelyme]

Guys:

I used to dabble in the hobby, would indulge a small handful of times a year for about 10 years when I was single, when I was in a relationship I didn't really have the need to monger. During the pandemic I was single for almost 18 months. Once these places opened I was going often, really got into it, budgeted it, and loved it. I have been with a great girl for 6 months and I was being satisfied regularly.I love this girl but like all relationships things wane. I shouldn't complain, still going at it about twice a week. With this drop I've felt a strong urge to work in some mongering again.

This girl is open and European. She knows I used to engage in the hobby up until we started dating and had 0 problem with it. She's also not an uninhibited libertine freak on a leash, conservative and professional woman. I don't like to cheat and wouldn't. I'm considering asking her for permission to monger again. I honestly don't know how she will react. Have any of you guys had this conversation with your wife or girlfriend? Do any of you have an arrangement in your relationship? Is this just a terrible idea?

I'm 32, she's 34 and we are both conventionally attractive.

Bad idea if you don't want other guys fucking her.

Does she like Women?? If so might as well swing with her and have her get you girls.

 

[Bultaco103]

All the opinions are sort of funny. He said she is open and had zero issues with his past. Good chance she would not have a problem. As the guy you might stick more to RT places with just an occasional safe FS. There are not many men that work at amps and can service woman. Good chance if there is a male at the spa they prefer to service men. On the flip if you expect her to give her blessing you should give her the freedom as well. My SO has a private (non-amp) masseur who is totally professional yet still can bring some sensual for her. If she manages to get lucky good for her! It helps if you are fully committed and 100% open and honest with each other.