I've been in the game for more than 3 decades, 2 of which were heavy internet based on boards that no longer exist, sad to say. I went as far as hosting private parties with another hobbyist in hotels where no one was the wiser, and in front of many people. Went as far as renting a ballroom in a hotel with food and a open bar. Hotel manager thanked us for giving the place some class, since we held it as a black tie event. Yes, those were the days...
I also have good game, so if you don't have the patience to hunt, then I guess what I did is not for you. Regardless of how you find what you want, we hunt, and yes, we do negotiate or settle for something else. We see an ad for someone we like, little head gets all worked up, and then we don't want to pay that price so we settle for something less.
Just my opinion...
Have fun, stay safe!