For the vast majority of the pandemic i was living alone mostly dealing with a break up, once i got vaccinated i started to frequent spas more frequently. Recently i started dating online, and i really don't care about sleeping with the dates which is probably why the dates are going well lol. I am looking for a SO with similar sexual chemistry, but i find it hard to do both at the same time. Does anyone have prolonged experience with both? Right now i plan on using AMPs for when there is dry periods (which has been the entire period this time, granted only a few weeks). I'm not rich, but money isn't the factor for me. I'm craving the non sexual aspect of a partner as much or more than the sexual benefit of having consistent sex if that gives more context.
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AMP's vs OLD
- Thread starter Frogman52
- Start date
Experience with both? Do you mean having an SO you still have sex with, and hitting AMPS? Absolutely. Most SO after awhile aren't concerned with satisfying you as much except to prevent you from going elsewhere. We all know when the newness wears off its pretty routine. You gotta supplement with AMPs and or other providers. Unless you want to risk affairs/sugar babies... but my prob with that is the discretion is less. Of course everything has risks but I think if you have an SO and need to get laid more, the only smart choice is hobbying.
Can I ask what the online dating site was ? Haha but yeah this hobby is meant to be a side hobby not in place of a relationship, all relationships are gonna get dry and the amps will always be there for some easy side excitement. I’ve been going at it with amps and a SO for about 2 years now no issues at all luckily
I am completely single now and have been for awhile. There's obviously no issue with being single and going to AMPs. I was with SOs (including a wife), and also going to AMPs so i do have both experiences. My point was that i am technically in between both sides. I am in the process of dating, and actually looking for another partner not just a hook up. I thought the AMPs would help ease the sexual needs and make focus on the non physical side of attraction first with dating, but i have noticed i get much more horny even when scratching the itch so i stopped going to AMPs. My post was more about seeing if anyone is/was casually dating (not anything exclusive) and also hobbying, what there experiences were.
Understood Frogman thanks for the clarification. I have not been single for a long time so for me it's not a situation I have been in for awhile. But I will say this, and in no way is this supposed to be insulting so please don't take it this way. But when I was single I didn't go to AMPs... because the thrill of the successful hunt kept me focused on what I can get outside the hobby. And for me, in the dating scene, I wasn't the most successful guy but I definitely got dates. I can only speak for my exp but lack of exciting "new" sex was never an issue for me. If I was getting that from a g/f or romantic interest that's all I want. Didn't need to seek out other avenues like hobbying. LTR is diff though... I still get laid but at best its 1x a week and sometimes 1x every 2 weeks. Beyond that... my SO puts in absolute minimum effort. That to me is not very satisfying and hence why I hobby.
This is exactly how i feel now. For the vast majority of my adult life i never had to work for sex and my partner actually had a much higher sex drive than i did (i was lucky lol). I don't know if that's why it feels super new all the effort it takes to even get in position to have sex with someone that i actually care about, or its the fact for the same amount of money probably i can have sex with a new beautiful Asian and not have to even say a word to her lol I definitely have more desire for companionship at this time, but it coming at a cost of extreme horniness.
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish...
I think that it takes a different skill set to go out and meet a woman for a relationship. And a guy who can successfully go out and develop a romantic relationship would/ought to be devoting his time and resources to that civvie gal. Relationships have lots of ups and downs as we all know but the satisfaction is about working things out, not escaping to another vice.
Visiting an escort---all one needs are good manners, nice grooming and a white envelope. The biggest challenge that I had last week was memorizing the new gate code to her apartment. It's like eating fish in a barrel.
I think that it takes a different skill set to go out and meet a woman for a relationship. And a guy who can successfully go out and develop a romantic relationship would/ought to be devoting his time and resources to that civvie gal. Relationships have lots of ups and downs as we all know but the satisfaction is about working things out, not escaping to another vice.
Visiting an escort---all one needs are good manners, nice grooming and a white envelope. The biggest challenge that I had last week was memorizing the new gate code to her apartment. It's like eating fish in a barrel.
Frog I think I lucked into something that covers both ends. I had an extremely attractive female as a best friend. She would say I am her very best girlfriend. I told her everything including occasional strip clubs and AMPs. She found it funny and felt it must be very therapeutic. She and I both were unhappily married to other people. Fast forward and for unforeseen reasons we both ended up single. My kids actually suggested why am I not dating and why don’t I ask me friend out. So I did and was literally laughed at and told I am not her type. Ouch! Then a few weeks later she asked if I was serious about dating and if so I would have to make a serious commitment to long term, no fling/rebound and of course I could continue my therapy at AMPS. She even wished she could get such a nice treatment. Years and years later we are totally in the best love of our lives. We occasionally go to spas. I found a few that service women, even a few that have a man to massage the women. I feel complete honesty is what makes things work so well. We both know everything about each other and have 100% trust in our commitment. So while dating try to find someone that can understand and accept your lifestyle. I know some guys like the sneaking around secret agent part, but it is way more fun not having to worry about them finding out. So yes AMP and dating even marrying can work out well.
Your story makes me incredibly happy, but for the less obvious reason. In almost any capacity it makes me happy to see someone set a goal that is uncomfortable, and achieve it because too many people just give up. Honestly visiting AMPs isn't exactly part of my lifestyle, especially now. I thought originally that I just needed sex, but now i realize i need companionship. Honestly even having a platonic close female friend i think would make my life significantly easier, there really hard to find, IMO. I do think more and more female partners are aware of the hobby, and the smart ones know that it isn't truly a threat to the relationships especially if there is a dialogue around it. I have a friend in a similar situation as you, except she doesn't partake and her only rules are that he doesn't lie about it, and it doesn't affect their sex.
This is a complex topic that is deeply personal and one size does not fit all. I don't agree with the commonly held belief that this is an addiction for anyone who gets into it. One's predilection toward addiction depends on a lot of individual factors. If you are a young single guy, I don't see the harm in indulging. It's common in a lot of cultures outside of America and most guys don't grow up to be perpetually addicted mongers single for life. They move on from partaking (or not) and have normal fulfilling relationships in many cases.
I would never use it as a substitute for loneliness or non physical needs. If that is what you need, you are looking for love and it won't be found in a strip mall. But if you view it as entertainment, that is totally fine. Like, nobody would say you have a hole in your soul if you spent a lot of time playing golf or taking art classes. It's called a hobby as a euphemism but I think if you actually treat it as a hobby you will be totally fine. The ability to compartmentalize things is an underrated skill but I find it to be super valuable in handling trauma or partitioning different aspects of your life.
Being married adds another layer of complexity. If one is getting regular sex from his wife or LTR, then it would seem a purely selfish need to indulge in this hobby. But for a guy whose wife has shut down or significantly eliminated intimacy, what is he to do? If he has exhausted his options and has made a meaningful effort to engage and redevelop his relationship to no avail, then what?
Hard to judge a guy in that situation. It's like being a meat eater your whole life and then one day without warning you are expected to be a vegetarian. Do you go with it? Hope it goes back to the way before? Or do you find yourself stuck between being an unhappy vegetarian or having the guilt of sneaking out to get Ruth's Chris behind your SO's back? It's a dilemma.
I guess what I am trying to say is if you have the self control to not let it take over your life, do it. And likewise if you have the control to stop if you find yourself in a good relationship, you should stop then too. Ultimately, intimate needs are like eating and drinking. You need constant replenishment. There's no such thing as a one time thing and then you are satisfied. One way or another you need to meet your needs, or accept a lifestyle where your needs aren't met.
I would never use it as a substitute for loneliness or non physical needs. If that is what you need, you are looking for love and it won't be found in a strip mall. But if you view it as entertainment, that is totally fine. Like, nobody would say you have a hole in your soul if you spent a lot of time playing golf or taking art classes. It's called a hobby as a euphemism but I think if you actually treat it as a hobby you will be totally fine. The ability to compartmentalize things is an underrated skill but I find it to be super valuable in handling trauma or partitioning different aspects of your life.
Being married adds another layer of complexity. If one is getting regular sex from his wife or LTR, then it would seem a purely selfish need to indulge in this hobby. But for a guy whose wife has shut down or significantly eliminated intimacy, what is he to do? If he has exhausted his options and has made a meaningful effort to engage and redevelop his relationship to no avail, then what?
Hard to judge a guy in that situation. It's like being a meat eater your whole life and then one day without warning you are expected to be a vegetarian. Do you go with it? Hope it goes back to the way before? Or do you find yourself stuck between being an unhappy vegetarian or having the guilt of sneaking out to get Ruth's Chris behind your SO's back? It's a dilemma.
I guess what I am trying to say is if you have the self control to not let it take over your life, do it. And likewise if you have the control to stop if you find yourself in a good relationship, you should stop then too. Ultimately, intimate needs are like eating and drinking. You need constant replenishment. There's no such thing as a one time thing and then you are satisfied. One way or another you need to meet your needs, or accept a lifestyle where your needs aren't met.