2 Years Since Last Visit Better Off

[Driver]

For some of you guys looking to stop the monger merry-go-round, I am at 2 years since my last visit to either a spa or escort. I decided to stop after 3 terrible encounters and a comment by an escort.
First the comment by the escort. While talking to her and after 2 tall glasses of wine, she said "guys that pay for sex are losers". After a pause she said "oh some guys". With the encounters 2 were with independents that have reviews on this site and 1 at a well-reviewed AMP in South Jersey. 1st instance was with a skinny, pale, small chested escort in CNJ. Was not attracted to her at all. Lackluster session and as I was leaving offered her chubby friend for duo next time. No thanks. While driving away said to myself "what a total waste of money that was". 2nd encounter was with an independent that really likes her weed. Went to her incall, was over-whelmed by the weed stench, she seemed high, and room a mess. Turned around and got out of there. 3rd time was with the very much reviewed now 70 plus year old therapist at a popular SJ spa. During table shower tries 2 times to give me her "special". I said no the first time and then she tries again. The thought of her old age, the endless number of guys she has serviced, and who knows how many guys got the special, I got skeeved out, got up, quickly dried off, dressed, and left. While driving away said to myself "what the hell am I doing". So over the last 2 years have put more effort into the relationship with my SO and things are much better. Not all her fault, I needed to look in the mirror. Also began hitting the gym more as well as found a great group of people that play pickleball. For me I just feel better about myself. Not preaching to anyone that continues to monger. We are all adults, but for some of you guys that are beginning to question why I am doing this yet, give it pause and think where else can I put my efforts.

 

[elsinore125cr]

I don't know why you are on this site if it's no longer your thing? Everyone is different and some might truly appreciate a great massage, or a little side fun. I think with the right attitude it can be overall great for a healthy outlook and well-being. I imagine so many of us actually do hit the gym, do focus on our SO's and aren't sizing up their therapists as skinny, pale, small chested, old aged. But it sounds like for you a good decision was made, why not go one step further and tell your SO the same thing you told us?

 

[thurber]

First the comment by the escort. While talking to her and after 2 tall glasses of wine, she said "guys that pay for sex are losers".

Thank god for the pervasiveness of this way of thinking! Otherwise AMPs (and sex workers of all kinds) would be swamped and have to raise prices even higher.

I used to think this way, too, along with the companion thought that all sex workers must be disease ridden untouchables.

My post-AMP thinking is that "guys who pay for sex value their time and their money." And that guys who get sex "for free" usually end up paying a lot more than $240 in time and energy to get a nut with a new girl.

 

[BillyBlueEye2]

First the comment by the escort. While talking to her and after 2 tall glasses of wine, she said "guys that pay for sex are losers"

Oh and a woman who spreads her legs for money is a winner? Its like the chicken or the egg debate over which side is the bigger loser IMO lol

 

[HomerJ]

Congrats, happy for you @Driver !

I am a few weeks short of my 2 years "clean of hookers" anniversary
Unlike you I unfortunately did not improve my relationship with the wife.
But I got a gf

 

[AutomaticSlim]

First the comment by the escort. While talking to her and after 2 tall glasses of wine, she said "guys that pay for sex are losers".

I know for a fact many of them think this way.
A majority or even a super-majority of them? Can't say for sure, but I would lean towards believing that to be true.
It's a free country and they are allowed their own thoughts and ideas.
I actually prefer the honesty.

But what needs to be stated is what I think they consider to be "losers".
IMO, it's not just the "paying for sex" part.
I guarantee you if it were a Hollywood star like Charlie Sheen (before his health issues) or some pro athlete paying for a few hours with her, she would NOT think he was a loser. In fact, it would be the highlight of her life.

No, to these girls (many of them anyway), a guy who is educated, honest, hardworking, polite, goes to work every day and "does the right thing" is "boring".
And to them, "boring" is being a loser. And not just to providers. To most younger, attractive women in the US and other Western nations.
So if being an educated, honest, polite, hardworking, upper middle class boring guy makes me a loser to the type of girls to which I am attracted (young thin and pretty), so be it. She thinks some tattooed biker or violent thug or loumouthed jerk, or some bartender/bouncer in a dead end job is better than me? Fine.
I have no problem whatsoever paying and banging girls who think I am a "loser".
Because the alternatives (dating wrinkled middle aged bags or whacking off to porn) are not an option.

 

[tannau]

I've been to a R&T place only once. I felt not so good after doing it. And a comment made by the provider irked me. I've never been with a woman. She asked me details like "what do you do?", "you don't have gf?", "how old?". Idk how she so quickly figured out that I've never been with a woman, but she commented that I'm a "boy" (I don't look like a boy, at least). That spoiled the mood for me.

 

[philly42]

I've been to a R&T place only once. I felt not so good after doing it. And a comment made by the provider irked me. I've never been with a woman. She asked me details like "what do you do?", "you don't have gf?", "how old?". Idk how she so quickly figured out that I've never been with a woman, but she commented that I'm a "boy" (I don't look like a boy, at least). That spoiled the mood for me.

This is a great use for sex workers. Go a few times get the sex and maybe that can help you to feel more like a man.

 

[philly42]

For some of you guys looking to stop the monger merry-go-round, I am at 2 years since my last visit to either a spa or escort. I decided to stop after 3 terrible encounters and a comment by an escort.
First the comment by the escort. While talking to her and after 2 tall glasses of wine, she said "guys that pay for sex are losers". After a pause she said "oh some guys". With the encounters 2 were with independents that have reviews on this site and 1 at a well-reviewed AMP in South Jersey. 1st instance was with a skinny, pale, small chested escort in CNJ. Was not attracted to her at all. Lackluster session and as I was leaving offered her chubby friend for duo next time. No thanks. While driving away said to myself "what a total waste of money that was". 2nd encounter was with an independent that really likes her weed. Went to her incall, was over-whelmed by the weed stench, she seemed high, and room a mess. Turned around and got out of there. 3rd time was with the very much reviewed now 70 plus year old therapist at a popular SJ spa. During table shower tries 2 times to give me her "special". I said no the first time and then she tries again. The thought of her old age, the endless number of guys she has serviced, and who knows how many guys got the special, I got skeeved out, got up, quickly dried off, dressed, and left. While driving away said to myself "what the hell am I doing". So over the last 2 years have put more effort into the relationship with my SO and things are much better. Not all her fault, I needed to look in the mirror. Also began hitting the gym more as well as found a great group of people that play pickleball. For me I just feel better about myself. Not preaching to anyone that continues to monger. We are all adults, but for some of you guys that are beginning to question why I am doing this yet, give it pause and think where else can I put my efforts.

I appreciate you sharing other views on this forum because I know its all something we think about from time to time.

But…..you reviews do not corroborate your supposed 2 years away from sex workers. It is a little strange to me that you would exaggerate the truth on this forum of all places.

 

[AutomaticSlim]

I appreciate you sharing other views on this forum because I know its all something we think about from time to time.

But…..you reviews do not corroborate your supposed 2 years away from sex workers. It is a little strange to me that you would exaggerate the truth on this forum of all places.

Damn I didn't even check that.
I was so focused on the "loser" part.

 

[tannau]

This is a great use for sex workers. Go a few times get the sex and maybe that can help you to feel more like a man.

That's the plan. It was only a HJ still she had to spoil it lol

 

[Driver]

But…..you reviews do not corroborate your supposed 2 years away from sex workers. [/QUOTE]

Lily’s Bodywork’s last review. Oct 22. Lily’s is a strictly legit massage therapy.

 

[Doubleyellow]

I know for a fact many of them think this way.
A majority or even a super-majority of them? Can't say for sure, but I would lean towards believing that to be true.
It's a free country and they are allowed their own thoughts and ideas.
I actually prefer the honesty.

But what needs to be stated is what I think they consider to be "losers".
IMO, it's not just the "paying for sex" part.
I guarantee you if it were a Hollywood star like Charlie Sheen (before his health issues) or some pro athlete paying for a few hours with her, she would NOT think he was a loser. In fact, it would be the highlight of her life.

No, to these girls (many of them anyway), a guy who is educated, honest, hardworking, polite, goes to work every day and "does the right thing" is "boring".
And to them, "boring" is being a loser. And not just to providers. To most younger, attractive women in the US and other Western nations.
So if being an educated, honest, polite, hardworking, upper middle class boring guy makes me a loser to the type of girls to which I am attracted (young thin and pretty), so be it. She thinks some tattooed biker or violent thug or loumouthed jerk, or some bartender/bouncer in a dead end job is better than me? Fine.
I have no problem whatsoever paying and banging girls who think I am a "loser".
Because the alternatives (dating wrinkled middle aged bags or whacking off to porn) are not an option.

i agree with you, Slim. What is the point of getting into a power struggle with someone you hired. If there is one thing this activity should teach everyone it is to have confidence/balls: don’t become their loser, and don’t feel lucky you are there, the entrance feel is all it takes. Be cordial, but never acquiesce or subjugate yourself in order to win their approval. Someone else is ready for hire, and literally right around the corner.

 

[Chicagoboy]

For some of you guys looking to stop the monger merry-go-round, I am at 2 years since my last visit to either a spa or escort. I decided to stop after 3 terrible encounters and a comment by an escort.
First the comment by the escort. While talking to her and after 2 tall glasses of wine, she said "guys that pay for sex are losers". After a pause she said "oh some guys". With the encounters 2 were with independents that have reviews on this site and 1 at a well-reviewed AMP in South Jersey. 1st instance was with a skinny, pale, small chested escort in CNJ. Was not attracted to her at all. Lackluster session and as I was leaving offered her chubby friend for duo next time. No thanks. While driving away said to myself "what a total waste of money that was". 2nd encounter was with an independent that really likes her weed. Went to her incall, was over-whelmed by the weed stench, she seemed high, and room a mess. Turned around and got out of there. 3rd time was with the very much reviewed now 70 plus year old therapist at a popular SJ spa. During table shower tries 2 times to give me her "special". I said no the first time and then she tries again. The thought of her old age, the endless number of guys she has serviced, and who knows how many guys got the special, I got skeeved out, got up, quickly dried off, dressed, and left. While driving away said to myself "what the hell am I doing". So over the last 2 years have put more effort into the relationship with my SO and things are much better. Not all her fault, I needed to look in the mirror. Also began hitting the gym more as well as found a great group of people that play pickleball. For me I just feel better about myself. Not preaching to anyone that continues to monger. We are all adults, but for some of you guys that are beginning to question why I am doing this yet, give it pause and think where else can I put my efforts.

Why are you still here with a bunch of lovers like us?

 

[Doubleyellow]

Why are you still here with a bunch of lovers like us?

his last sentence.

 

[ANDRW322]

For some of you guys looking to stop the monger merry-go-round, I am at 2 years since my last visit to either a spa or escort. I decided to stop after 3 terrible encounters and a comment by an escort.
First the comment by the escort. While talking to her and after 2 tall glasses of wine, she said "guys that pay for sex are losers". After a pause she said "oh some guys". With the encounters 2 were with independents that have reviews on this site and 1 at a well-reviewed AMP in South Jersey. 1st instance was with a skinny, pale, small chested escort in CNJ. Was not attracted to her at all. Lackluster session and as I was leaving offered her chubby friend for duo next time. No thanks. While driving away said to myself "what a total waste of money that was". 2nd encounter was with an independent that really likes her weed. Went to her incall, was over-whelmed by the weed stench, she seemed high, and room a mess. Turned around and got out of there. 3rd time was with the very much reviewed now 70 plus year old therapist at a popular SJ spa. During table shower tries 2 times to give me her "special". I said no the first time and then she tries again. The thought of her old age, the endless number of guys she has serviced, and who knows how many guys got the special, I got skeeved out, got up, quickly dried off, dressed, and left. While driving away said to myself "what the hell am I doing". So over the last 2 years have put more effort into the relationship with my SO and things are much better. Not all her fault, I needed to look in the mirror. Also began hitting the gym more as well as found a great group of people that play pickleball. For me I just feel better about myself. Not preaching to anyone that continues to monger. We are all adults, but for some of you guys that are beginning to question why I am doing this yet, give it pause and think where else can I put my efforts.

2 year sober ! That’s quite an achievement. Keep up the good work bro !!……I thought I am on the AA site. Sorry it is the AMP site, my bad

 

[BronxBoy]

"what the hell am I doing".

I had the same epiphany maybe 5-6 years ago & made similar adjustments to my priorities, all of which have made my life better. I still monger but much, much less and not habitually. Everything in moderation. Plus, there's only one place you can get the full AMP experience (TS, massage, back walk, hot stones - fucking the girl is just icing on the cake).

And yeah, get and stay reasonably fit, just fit enough to jog a mile without stopping; you don't have to go out and get jacked. It'll improve your life in ways you'd never imagine.

Keep going, brother!

 

[jim_hatez]

LOL @ thread....

Why bother writing reviews, to keep access, to a site you have no use for anymore?

This is so silly.

Most guys who monger have a GF or wife. When you have a GF or wife, mongering is the easiest way to get what you need with the lowest risk. Having a sugar baby/GF/Affair is far, far more risky.

Am I proud of what I do? Hell no. I think what I am doing is shady and a total dickhead move.

But, on the other side of the coin, getting some once every few weeks is maddening. Not a reason to get rid of her in and of itself, and I've tried to fix it many times with no avail. Her needs are less, she would be happy with once a month if I didn't push the issue.

Sadly that does not work for me. The rest of the relationship is mostly good. It sucks, I hate to be a scum bag (for real) but otherwise I may off myself. I can't handle the frustration of not having regular relations.

 

[KittyHawk]

LOL @ thread....

Why bother writing reviews, to keep access, to a site you have no use for anymore?

This is so silly.

Most guys who monger have a GF or wife. When you have a GF or wife, mongering is the easiest way to get what you need with the lowest risk. Having a sugar baby/GF/Affair is far, far more risky.

Am I proud of what I do? Hell no. I think what I am doing is shady and a total dickhead move.

But, on the other side of the coin, getting some once every few weeks is maddening. Not a reason to get rid of her in and of itself, and I've tried to fix it many times with no avail. Her needs are less, she would be happy with once a month if I didn't push the issue.

Sadly that does not work for me. The rest of the relationship is mostly good. It sucks, I hate to be a scum bag (for real) but otherwise I may off myself. I can't handle the frustration of not having regular relations.

Damn!! "Once a month", your SO must be a nympho.

 

[Doubleyellow]

For some of you guys looking to stop the monger merry-go-round, I am at 2 years since my last visit to either a spa or escort. I decided to stop after 3 terrible encounters and a comment by an escort.
First the comment by the escort. While talking to her and after 2 tall glasses of wine, she said "guys that pay for sex are losers". After a pause she said "oh some guys". With the encounters 2 were with independents that have reviews on this site and 1 at a well-reviewed AMP in South Jersey. 1st instance was with a skinny, pale, small chested escort in CNJ. Was not attracted to her at all. Lackluster session and as I was leaving offered her chubby friend for duo next time. No thanks. While driving away said to myself "what a total waste of money that was". 2nd encounter was with an independent that really likes her weed. Went to her incall, was over-whelmed by the weed stench, she seemed high, and room a mess. Turned around and got out of there. 3rd time was with the very much reviewed now 70 plus year old therapist at a popular SJ spa. During table shower tries 2 times to give me her "special". I said no the first time and then she tries again. The thought of her old age, the endless number of guys she has serviced, and who knows how many guys got the special, I got skeeved out, got up, quickly dried off, dressed, and left. While driving away said to myself "what the hell am I doing". So over the last 2 years have put more effort into the relationship with my SO and things are much better. Not all her fault, I needed to look in the mirror. Also began hitting the gym more as well as found a great group of people that play pickleball. For me I just feel better about myself. Not preaching to anyone that continues to monger. We are all adults, but for some of you guys that are beginning to question why I am doing this yet, give it pause and think where else can I put my efforts.

Excellent post! I recall your review of the spa where the ‘special’ was repeatedly offered and you walked. i suppose it was a relief for you to decide you reached your limit. I share that stage with you.

Thanks for catching us up on how you are doing, sharing your success and offering your advice.