Unofficial Survey... The Mongering Hobby and Marriage...

[krideynyc]

The counter argument for Divorce due to Infidelity if the wife catches you, is Divorce due to Abandonment/Desertion. That's when intimacy is no longer part of the relationship. Most States require a duration of a year before you can make that claim. The big question is if you want to divorce her at all.

My wife knows I get regular massages. It's part of my Physical Therapy to treat my back injury from a motorcycle accident. She also knows I moved from a Physical Therapy Center to a legit AMP because they provide back walking, and the Chinese style of massage offers more relief than the other massage styles I've tried. The legit place has to be properly licensed, because I need the LMT's License number to file for medical claims. She's been with me to my legit place, and she know there's no extras offered. She just doesn't know that I sometimes go to the other AMP's for the occasional extras. Unsheduled sessions is easy to explain because my back can just act up after sitting too long, or when I over exert myself.

 

[Bultaco103]

You need to start a new thread entitled " My wife doesn't mind me going to AMPs and even wants to join in. This is my ongoing adventure in my perfect life with a perfect wife!"

Funny! But for sure everything is more fun when it’s not a secret and your spouse encourages the fun

 

[Kingfish411]

...Why you gotta call them "Hoes" man... we're all living in Glass Houses and hoping no one starts to throw stones... just MHO...

I said that I love them tho so no derogatory connotations were meant.

 

[Kingfish411]

Even if you keep it a secret from your SO, if you’re not having sex at home, she’s gonna realize that you must be getting it somewhere. So if she doesn’t bring it up, she’s either in denial or doesn’t care

Once an SO stops taking care of your sexual needs for whatever reason she loses the right to even ask about how you take care of them. Not talking about someone being sick etc. Marriage is complicated especially with children, financials and divorce laws. There are more factors not least of which raising children by yourself is tough and almost impossible etc. IF you factor everything else a man does for a household spending 2 or 3 hour a week on his needs ain't really a big deal. A girlfriend legit requires time away from home, wants to go out etc, emotional commitment etc. That destroys marriages. Hobbying does not any of this and is only a problem if you get caught. If instead of going to the gym you see a provider a few times a week that can do wonders for you if you are in low or no sex marriage.

 

[headsup]

No way this.

 

[mikemendez]

Comerica Bank ads offering "FS" banking, lol, I have to laugh when I hear their ads, here are some examples, "Full-service banking for specialized services" , lol, if they only knew our view "Full-service banking for security" , lol, withdrawl cash only for a spa visit.

 

[VJLUTZ]

If she divorces me, she might get half, but she won't get me! She gets it.

That is a great way of putting it. After living with someone for a very long time (in my case 30+ years), even getting half of a very large nest egg (+ alimony) will not make up for the loss of a supportive life partner. My wife and I both do lots of things for each other, including provide companionship. I think she also values the "status" of being my wife. A divorce would end those things. It is difficult, really impossible, to put a price tag on that. I also think in any divorce she would get the short end of the stick and she knows that.

The other thing is that I do my utmost to mask my activities from her. The last thing I want to do is humiliate her by rubbing it in her face. I also try to minimize "missing time" and avoid patterns. If she suspects, she is doing a good job of hiding it. Even if she does suspect, she probably knows that no good will come from a confrontation. Especially since I am a man and she has not provided any honey for about 7 years now. And, I think she also knows that I won't kick-her-to-the-curb for a younger model. The last thing she wants to do is be an old, lonely woman living by herself, even if she is financially self sufficient.

 

[krideynyc]

The only flaw with the "she doesn't get me if she divorces me" argument is when they do file for divorce. By that time they've made up their mind they are better off without you. The freedom outweighs all the "security".

The irony to what I wrote above for Grounds of Divorce due to Abandonment is, if the husband stops asking for it, they are also entitled to use it. So, not only can they file for Infidelity if they catch you mongering, they can pre-empt your counter argument for doing it.

 

[mitchxy1]

@VJLUTZ
"The last thing she wants to do is be an old, lonely woman living by herself, even if she is financially self sufficient. "
Makes a ton of sense. I go back to how women "need" men, even when not exactly wanting them. I cover about 80% of household needs, none of which my wife can give a shit about because she knows I do it all well. But if I wasn't around, most of it won't be done and especially not done well. Hiring handymen can only go so far.

 

[chunfun]

The only flaw with the "she doesn't get me if she divorces me" argument is when they do file for divorce. By that time they've made up their mind they are better off without you. The freedom outweighs all the "security".

The irony to what I wrote above for Grounds of Divorce due to Abandonment is, if the husband stops asking for it, they are also entitled to use it. So, not only can they file for Infidelity if they catch you mongering, they can pre-empt your counter argument for doing it.

You may be missing the point. For some, it's not the financial security, nor is it the freedom they desire. It is the presence of a man in their lives, every day. Many of her friends are miserable and free. They will spend their days without a mate, going to museums and other old lady shit. She doesn't want that. She cannot (or will not) have sex anymore. That doesn't mean she doesn't want or need a man! And as men go, I'm an asset to keep around.

As previously noted, I am discreet. I will not humiliate her. But she knows when to ask questions, and when to accept my silence!

 

[krideynyc]

You may be missing the point. For some, it's not the financial security, nor is it the freedom they desire. It is the presence of a man in their lives, every day. Many of her friends are miserable and free. They will spend their days without a mate, going to museums and other old lady shit. She doesn't want that. She cannot (or will not) have sex anymore. That doesn't mean she doesn't want or need a man! And as men go, I'm an asset to keep around.

All good points. However, the most basic one is that you are not that man she wants around. She will most likely still want a man, but if she files for divorce, you are being replaced.

 

[mitchxy1]

All good points. However, the most basic one is that you are not that man she wants around. She will most likely still want a man, but if she files for divorce, you are being replaced.

Yes, until they realize that the grass isn't usually greener. At their age, it's hard to accept change. Once they're out in the world looking for their replacement man, they'll see that someone new won't fit in with their accustomed lifestyle. And a new man would want some excitement from their new companion, which we know is already going to be lacking. I could be wrong, but the newfound freedom might turn out to be a boon for the neighborhood cats.

 

[krideynyc]

Yes, until they realize that the grass isn't usually greener. At their age, it's hard to accept change. Once they're out in the world looking for their replacement man, they'll see that someone new won't fit in with their accustomed lifestyle. And a new man would want some excitement from their new companion, which we know is already going to be lacking. I could be wrong, but the newfound freedom might turn out to be a boon for the neighborhood cats.

Very possible. But as I've stated, they've already decided their freedom is worth the risk to proceed with the divorce.

 

[headsup]

Scenario possibly