So just curious to hear opinions from married guys on here. Do you think mongering has hurt or helped your relationship? In my opinion, I think it has helped save it - probably would have been divorced by now if I didn't do it. However, I suppose it also contributes in a negative way since I don't often even want to do it with the wife. Thoughts?
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Unofficial Survey... The Mongering Hobby and Marriage...
- Thread starter tsharp38
- Start date
I only started this a few months ago so it's too soon to tell. I think if we had a sexless marriage it would be saving it. Since we still do it a couple times a month, the potential for harm probably outweighs the benefit as it could potentially lead to divorce. I've cut back as a result. Like the OP said, it contributes negatively as well as this hobby makes you want it from the wife less and less. The first month that I did this my wife came to me like "you haven't asked for it in a month what's going on?" The whole thing is dangerous but once you get a taste of this, how do you go back?
I'm current;y just shy of 62, still very sexually active and have visited AMP's starting 1st during my college years. I've been married for 36 years and was out of the mongering faze until the past couple of years when the marital sex life basically expired. I would suggest and with morals to the side that it has actually help me with our relationship. I've been far more patient with my wife and we continue to have a very strong marriage. This is as long as she doesn't find out. That's always the risk side.
Can't say that everyone would be in the same boat under the circumstances.
Can't say that everyone would be in the same boat under the circumstances.
So there have been pros and cons with my marriage since joining the hobby.
Pros are pretty simple... I no longer look at sex with my Wife as my only source of release. This is pretty important because I used to always initiate it, and it began to feel like pitty sex. So I decided not to initiate, and we went almost a year without it. When I finally mentioned something about it being almost a year, she was like... Noooo it's only been a few months. Obviously this was a red flag for me. I had been loyal/faithful through her 3-pregnancies, but after 5-6 years of me just jerking the 1-eyed pony, I decided it was time for a change.
Now for the cons... A few days after my first FS session at an amp, my Wife decided she wanted to fool around. Normally I'd be good to go, but all I could think about was "what if I caught something from the provider? My wife and I don't use protection, and so my nerves were shot, my mind wasn't on the task at hand, and that's when I discovered why all you old fucks take Viagra lol.
Seriously though, it was the first time that I couldn't do the deed with my Wife, and it was a bit of a let-down for both of us.
Now that was a few years ago, and I still get nervous when we bump-uglies. But I get tested on a pretty regular basis, and try not to do anything too crazy or unsafe. But BBJTCIM is like my damn kryptonite.
Pros are pretty simple... I no longer look at sex with my Wife as my only source of release. This is pretty important because I used to always initiate it, and it began to feel like pitty sex. So I decided not to initiate, and we went almost a year without it. When I finally mentioned something about it being almost a year, she was like... Noooo it's only been a few months. Obviously this was a red flag for me. I had been loyal/faithful through her 3-pregnancies, but after 5-6 years of me just jerking the 1-eyed pony, I decided it was time for a change.
Now for the cons... A few days after my first FS session at an amp, my Wife decided she wanted to fool around. Normally I'd be good to go, but all I could think about was "what if I caught something from the provider? My wife and I don't use protection, and so my nerves were shot, my mind wasn't on the task at hand, and that's when I discovered why all you old fucks take Viagra lol.
Seriously though, it was the first time that I couldn't do the deed with my Wife, and it was a bit of a let-down for both of us.
Now that was a few years ago, and I still get nervous when we bump-uglies. But I get tested on a pretty regular basis, and try not to do anything too crazy or unsafe. But BBJTCIM is like my damn kryptonite.
Guys, there are things you should absolutely do. You should look for sex with your wife more If she ever , the only difference is that you will not be upset when she rejects you. You should ask her to give you a massage. again, no big deal when she rejects you. You should offer her money to spend some quality sensual time with you. No big deal if she rejects you.
If she ever finds out you are going to a spa, you can at least tell her you have always offered her the options first.
If she ever finds out you are going to a spa, you can at least tell her you have always offered her the options first.
No different than getting a thank you fuck when you get her an expensive gift. No?
Similar to Thumper. Major Pro is making up for the wife's lack of interest. One less issue to deal with. Major Con is when the wife and I do get it on, I sometimes forget who it is and start expecting certain acts, or level of performance. At least I don't scream out another provider's name. Yet.
Similar to Thumper. Major Pro is making up for the wife's lack of interest. One less issue to deal with. Major Con is when the wife and I do get it on, I sometimes forget who it is and start expecting certain acts, or level of performance. At least I don't scream out another provider's name. Yet.
I’m not married, but have that problem with expecting certain acts With different providers. It gets confusing when you see 3-4 providers regularly, to keep track of who likes DFK, or which girls rim you, or who does good pm and who does painful ones. I guess it would be harder, with a wife, if some spa girl taught you something and you really want the wife to learn it after 20 years of marriage.
