Question about why we continue to hobby

[69chuck]

I started this hobby after my first way to young marriage fell apart. I fell in love with one hour dates with many different types of women... mostly Asian.
I now have a relationship full of passionate sex for the last six years but I’m still pulled towards the hobby.
I simply think I’m addicted to fucking many different women.
I’m curious to hear if anyone else in a similar situation has an opinion on why they hobby.......

 

[Nicksuperlover]

A long time ago I was talking to this guy who was in a relationship and I said, “that’s why I fuck lots of girls so that when I meet the right girl, I’ll settle down and be good with it. He said “nick, you always want to fuck other girls.” So, this is having your cake and eating it too. Don’t question or run away from mongering. I don’t.

 

[kantuchdis]

If you have a woman you are attracted to who gives you passionate sex for six straight years I wonder also why you would risk fucking that up?

 

[dotcom]

Key word(s)...."six straight years".

 

[jim_hatez]

If you have a woman you are attracted to who gives you passionate sex for six straight years I wonder also why you would risk fucking that up?

I don't want to answer for chuck but some people just have addictive personalities and no matter how much its never enough…. I'm like that unfortunately but at home I'm getting at best 1/week... sometimes it's 2x a month. It's just not enuf and if I don't have this outlet I find myself getting very angry, and acting like an asshole all the time. There is a big mental health piece of this for me... although the guilt part is hard once you rationalize it a few times it gets a little easier...

 

[69chuck]

I don't want to answer for chuck but some people just have addictive personalities and no matter how much its never enough…. I'm like that unfortunately but at home I'm getting at best 1/week... sometimes it's 2x a month. It's just not enuf and if I don't have this outlet I find myself getting very angry, and acting like an asshole all the time. There is a big mental health piece of this for me... although the guilt part is hard once you rationalize it a few times it gets a little easier...

exactly why i started in this hobby.......It calmed me down and put a smile on my face.

 

[Koujiao]

The answer to this question on how you started is different than why you continue, and depends on how honest you are willing to be with yourself. The whole "prehistoric need" or 'it is programmed into our male genes' story is a form of rationalization, it would be more believable if you were running around almost naked, killing mastedons with a spear you made and wearing animal skin for cover.

 

[69chuck]

If you have a woman you are attracted to who gives you passionate sex for six straight years I wonder also why you would risk fucking that up?

Maybe I"m so addicted to the pleasure of fucking different women.........I'm definitely a lot more selective than i used to be.......If i wasn't selfish i would swing so she could have some variety....LOL

 

[kantuchdis]

I probably over simplified my comment/question.

If the OP is in a committed, long term relationship with a woman who provides (enjoys?) having passionate sex with him in a full (and satisfying?) way, but he still pursues sex outside of the relationship then he might be addicted to the thrill of getting caught and everytime he pulls off another "date" he is emboldened to try it again.

Since he did not say he is in love with this partner, maybe she is expendable and it won't be the end of the world if she finds out and tells him to move on?

Almost every guy craves sex for 1000 reasons. Most guys stop thinking about sex right after they had sex. But soon they start thinking about it again, lol. All I am saying is a man with a partner who makes an effort to please him sexually is usually a man who is satisfied and does not make much effort to find it outside the relationship. If I was walking arm in arm with Kate Beckinsale and Scarlett Johannsen walked past winking at me would I look? Hell ya! But wishing and doing are two different things!

 

[kantuchdis]

Maybe I"m so addicted to the pleasure of fucking different women.........I'm definitely a lot more selective than i used to be.......If i wasn't selfish i would swing so she could have some variety....LOL

Take her to the Pleasure Garden and see if she's attracted to other women feeling her up and getting crazy?

 

[69chuck]

I probably over simplified my comment/question.

If the OP is in a committed, long term relationship with a woman who provides (enjoys?) having passionate sex with him in a full (and satisfying?) way, but he still pursues sex outside of the relationship then he might be addicted to the thrill of getting caught and everytime he pulls off another "date" he is emboldened to try it again.

Since he did not say he is in love with this partner, maybe she is expendable and it won't be the end of the world if she finds out and tells him to move on?

Almost every guy craves sex for 1000 reasons. Most guys stop thinking about sex right after they had sex. But soon they start thinking about it again, lol. All I am saying is a man with a partner who makes an effort to please him sexually is usually a man who is satisfied and does not make much effort to find it outside the relationship. If I was walking arm in arm with Kate Beckinsale and Scarlett Johannsen walked past winking at me would I look? Hell ya! But wishing and doing are two different things!

Yes i have fallen in love with her......... That has brought me to this point of questioning my activities.......

 

[69chuck]

Take her to the Pleasure Garden and see if she's attracted to other women feeling her up and getting crazy?

Thats DEFINITELY what i would like to replace my amp addiction with..........That sounds really HOT ! Maybe i can substitute fantasy play for my amp addiction.....

 

[RonnieD2]

I think I like to be taken care of with out asking or being on my best behavior.I’ve been with my wife 28 years and I love her and would hate to ruin that but probably last ten years or so started mongering and it’s just nice to go somewhere quiet be pampered showered rubbed and how ever it ends is usually good with a smile and see you next time. I walk out happy and relaxed and good to go one with my day to day

 

[Swiggen]

You’re completely normal!

Addiction is common but NOT normal. All forms are a turning away from uncomfortable realities. In the case of sexual addiction it is the flight from/fear of intimacy. Sex without emotional involvement serves a need but ultimately the human need for connection is stronger. When a monger is in love with his SO it’s commitment that’s tough so the OP has a choice to make. You can’t really have both . At least not for long as the tension grows too great. Delusional to think otherwise. Kantuchdis is correct a compromise or sacrifice becomes necessary when a relationship is involved.
Many in the hobby are living this delusional secret life. It will catch up to them.

 

[69chuck]

Addiction is common but NOT normal. All forms are a turning away from uncomfortable realities. In the case of sexual addiction it is the flight from/fear of intimacy. Sex without emotional involvement serves a need but ultimately the human need for connection is stronger. When a monger is in love with his SO it’s commitment that’s tough so the OP has a choice to make. You can’t really have both . At least not for long as the tension grows too great. Delusional to think otherwise. Kantuchdis is correct a compromise or sacrifice becomes necessary when a relationship is involved.
Many in the hobby are living this delusional secret life. It will catch up to them.

Great point........and that’s where I’m at now...... my relationship has grown to the point that all my sexual and emotional needs are being met......and I’m questioning my desire to continue just because I love fucking different women......swiggen.......I would love to know what motivates you to hobby.

 

[Swiggen]

Chuck, I’m not going to launch into a soliloquy about my personal 15 yr history in the hobby( Que up Dr Evils speech “ the details of my life are inconsequential...” lol).
Let’s just say while each of us has a unique experience there are common denominators such as the thrill, the release and above all the intoxicating feeling of being with beautiful young women unattainable outside this transactional world of mongering. Underlying the motivation is our emotional core issues however hard we tell ourselves that it’s just having fun.

I won’t offer a justification for my behavior and I don’t have any answers but I will submit this: if you have a partner that satisfies you in all aspects as you describe and truly loves you just as you are then it doesn’t get any better than that. Not in this world. So think hard about the risk of your pursuit of your fantasy world.
Are you willing to lose one for the other? My message is the two are incompatible.

Sounds like you are at a juncture and need to make a decision. Just be true to yourself and best of luck.

 

[69chuck]

Chuck, I’m not going to launch into a soliloquy about my personal 15 yr history in the hobby( Que up Dr Evils speech “ the details of my life are inconsequential...” lol).
Let’s just say while each of us has a unique experience there are common denominators such as the thrill, the release and above all the intoxicating feeling of being with beautiful young women unattainable outside this transactional world of mongering. Underlying the motivation is our emotional core issues however hard we tell ourselves that it’s just having fun.

I won’t offer a justification for my behavior and I don’t have any answers but I will submit this: if you have a partner that satisfies you in all aspects as you describe and truly loves you just as you are then it doesn’t get any better than that. Not in this world. So think hard about the risk of your pursuit of your fantasy world.
Are you willing to lose one for the other? My message is the two are incompatible.

Sounds like you are at a juncture and need to make a decision. Just be true to yourself and best of luck.

Your incredibly insightful and thought provoking comments truly helped me face the decision i must make. As intoxicating it is experiencing the variety of beautiful women available to us in this hobby ............It pales in comparison to what i have in my actual relationship.........I think i can replace hobbying with fantasy role playing and other fun things to keep the sex stimulating and intoxicating with the one i love. THANK YOU !

 

[TheEnjoyer]

Also, keep in mind. This hobby is going nowhere, it will be around in some fashion long past us.
As long as you have the cash, the door is open.
If you ever need it again, it will be there for you.

 

[Niceguy0388]

I have no game picking up chicks thats y I hobby...

 

[Swiggen]

Also, keep in mind. This hobby is going nowhere, it will be around in some fashion long past us.
As long as you have the cash, the door is open.
If you ever need it again, it will be there for you.

The Oldest Profession assures there will always be providers
We assure there will always be customers
In the context of Chuck’s situation the perspective is:
Sex addiction is a lifelong affliction. It never goes away,it can only be controlled. Free will