My Top Pet Peeves about AMPS.

[jim_hatez]

So I had a session recently that got me thinking. Outside of the "private details" type of stuff (i.e. disappointments with the session or provider) which should always stay in the PD section of reviews (and not here), what are the top things that have annoyed you at AMPS?

Of course, not all AMPS do these things wrong, some never do any of them, but when I run into these things it bugs me, in no particular order:

1. Shorting time/Rushing things to try to get it over ASAP
2. Towels or sheets have stains on them
3. Mildew in the shower area
4. Using bar soap on the table shower and rubbing it on you
5. When you do facedown on the table and immediately smells like cigarettes. I hate inhaling that stench while trying to relax.
6. Giving your appointment to someone else.
7. Phone ringing off the hook/session interruptions from other customers scheduling or arriving.
8. Pressuring for additional tip at the end.

Did I miss any of yours?

 

[elsinore125cr]

One of the worst for me is the DIY thing. Ok so she does a bit of suggestive teasing, then I am supposed to tip her to watch me???? I also get so turned off by bad breath which is fairly common. Another one is stopping mid-stroke the second they realize you are finishing.

 

[L8yPleaser]

Learning that when she is only using one hand to massage, it's because she is using the other hand to text on her phone. There is R&T shop I used to frequent a lot (3-4 times/month) that collected the HF after the massage. She spent a lot of the time (in a 90-min session) on her phone, texting. I ended the session about 30 minutes in, told her that I would not pay the fee (and why), no tip, and I left. I contacted the owner the next day and explained what happened, and that I would not be back. I haven't been back since (over a year), and I don't know what (if anything) happened to her. I don't read their reviews (the shop is still open). and NO, I will not share the name of the shop.

 

[charliebrown]

Here is one to add and I am sure after I describe it, all of you guys are going to take note of it in the future.

Table Shower. they go in with soap and hand to make sure the crack is clean and then they continue washing you from neck to toe with the same said soap and hands.

All I can say is wash your ass thoroughly before heading to an AMP to make sure you done get a brown rub down.

 

[jtmobile]

in mid-humpty when she goes from hot and heavy ooh you strong you my husband ooh ooh to a casual voice conversation with the other girl over the wall then back to ooh ooh you too much. the verbal version of texting while doing the TM

 

[heynow]

I just got back from Paris and the woman in an AMP there farted loudly, twice. JFC. I also hate it when they stop mid pump at the finish, as someone mentioned above.

 

[KittyHawk]

1. Shorting time/Rushing things to try to get it over ASAP
2. Towels or sheets have stains on them
3. Mildew in the shower area
4. Using bar soap on the table shower and rubbing it on you
5. When you do facedown on the table and immediately smells like cigarettes. I hate inhaling that stench while trying to relax.
6. Giving your appointment to someone else.
7. Phone ringing off the hook/session interruptions from other customers scheduling or arriving.
8. Pressuring for additional tip at the end.

9. Callling ahead and being told to come in. When you get there you are told that they are very busy, come another day. I had it happen twice and haven't been back to either place.

 

[KittyHawk]

All I can say is wash your ass thoroughly before heading to an AMP to make sure you done get a brown rub down

No problem there. I detail myself before a session. I always get the TS but it's to relax and break the ice if it's my first time with a provider.

 

[SoStrong]

My biggest pet peeve is when they leave the room during a session multiple times to attend to something else or another monger that arrived. Hocking loogie sounds coming from the other room or bathroom. Rufusing big d cause they are lazy or don’t like using lube. Dirty floors, damp table covers or just generally unclean rooms. Girl working while sick with head cold and coughing. Drafts or temp too hot or cold. Zero bj skills and excessive teeth scrape. Constant text alerts and phone calls during session. Rushing the session for new monger. Just to name a few…..

 

[Lovthstuf]

Here is one to add and I am sure after I describe it, all of you guys are going to take note of it in the future.

Table Shower. they go in with soap and hand to make sure the crack is clean and then they continue washing you from neck to toe with the same said soap and hands.

All I can say is wash your ass thoroughly before heading to an AMP to make sure you done get a brown rub down.

Please at least save my crack for last!!!

 

[Hopeful]

Every single damn one of these things I have encountered and am in agreement with all. The abrupt stopping of manual activity when they see results is particularly annoying and I tell them that so that they know why the tip is smaller. jt mobile's issue really got me laughing, as it does when providers do their acting for me. I always tell them that they needn't do the oohing and ahhing for me, which sometimes gets them chuckling and that's more fun anyway. It's already as artificial a situation as it needs to be for me. The worst is when you experience so many of these issue in ONE visit, and I have, but one time only.

 

[Lexaloe]

Agree with all above. We pay serious money for these experiences. Want good value.

My peeves (in no particular order)

1. Places with poor sound insulation.

2. Providers with front (or back) odors. Cleanliness is next to godliness.

3. Wet rug as you are walking to shower area. I get it. That’s what the flip flops are for but still . . . squish, squish

4. Commenting on size to avoid the deed . . . . Occupational hazard, Mr. Happy’s come in all shapes and sizes.

5. Waiting for a while when you just called and told to come right over or have an appointment

6. Providers without condoms. It’s like having to bring a book to the library. I know some of you gents bring your own, but that’s a little to much and too risky for me.

 

[AutomaticSlim]

Did I miss any of yours?

For me by far, it's the fake moaning and "oh yeah, oh baby" crap. Especially when they get loud.
I'd really wish they'd just be quiet.
My last session I came very close to shushing the girl.
I think I am going to start doing that going forward. It annoys me that much.

 

[Chicagoboy]

Two things that irritate me are the asking for tip mid session then they count it in front of you. Also the "you make me cum!" When their pussy is dry as a bone.

 

[Jaggi]

Using or overusing cheap oils.
While most oils I have no skin reaction to, some shops use low quality oils that irritate my skin as if they were applying vinegar to an open wound.

 

[Driver]

Most ladies in the spas are just too old. Sad state of affairs when guys are asking when a 70 year old is coming back to the spa.

 

[Tikelegacy]

Any water whether it’s on her skimpy dress or her hair. For some reason, I hate the feeling of her wet dress brushing up against me during TS or massage

 

[SoStrong]

Yep it’s BAD. That’s why I rarely go amps anymore. Not into grannies. I think it’s far worse post covid. These days 50 something’s are the new young.

 

[Tikelegacy]

I haven’t stepped into an AMP in 2+ years. I’d rather see indies or agencies

 

[AutomaticSlim]

Most ladies in the spas are just too old. Sad state of affairs when guys are asking when a 70 year old is coming back to the spa.

Honestly there are plenty these days that have younger ones (in their 20s -- mostly Japanese).
Obviously you'll be spending more, but they are out there if you really want them.