I actually asked my ATF if she could do anything besides work in a massage parlor, what would she do, she remained silent, then her initial response was, she doesn’t have another skill to do something else without having to be trained enough to earn a good wage, then she said society looks down on this industry, not sure why she included this. She seemed a bit troubled thinking about my question. She again answered after several minutes, she said she didn’t know. I guess she hadn't considered anything else.
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If you could ask her just one question
- Thread starter kgmspa
- Start date
It’s a little deeper than compartmentalize. I was at a late night dinner one night with the girls from this K-spa. A new girl had started that evening, FOB, never having had sex with anyone other than her husband before. She’d gotten a particularly rough time from this guy who forced oral sex on her then abused her because she didn’t know how to do it. The girls were giving her technical advice, then moved to talking about coping with the sex. It ranged from mentally checking out, to focusing on the technique as a way to avoid thinking about it as making love. Nobody was a sex addict amongst these 7 girls. This led to a hilarious discussion about how to give men a good enough time to make them tip well and come back, yet not get too tired, extend the time, or get mentally invested in the customers. The girls “go to” moves for making the customer come, were the best part, and since I’d been with all these girls, I could provide commentary on which worked and which didn’t.
I guess my point is some people who hate their jobs, check out and do a mediocre job, others micro focus on the task at hand and achieve excellence and some level of satisfaction that way. And maximize their income.
I guess my point is some people who hate their jobs, check out and do a mediocre job, others micro focus on the task at hand and achieve excellence and some level of satisfaction that way. And maximize their income.
With questions come emotions. I personally have become much more selective in the questions asked because I have lived thru both the positive and negative effects those questions provoked.
I would ask her What would you like to talk about to make your day better (or at least the hour I am with you).
I would ask her What would you like to talk about to make your day better (or at least the hour I am with you).
I understand exactly what you are talking about, you still have to pay attention to the subject matter. If it is positive, I will smile, laugh, hum, shake my head, tap them and/or reply to re-enforce the positive energy. If it is negative, you gotta give the negative feedback. I will start pinging them for specific requests or attention on a muscle group. I will start saying too hard/too soft, too hard to throw off their rhythm some they focus on massage. I will ask them an unrelated question. Negative energy is no good for you or her so get her out of it as quickly as possible. I have even told them to lay on the table, and relax. A positive relaxed provider is a good provider. I tense, concerned, upset provider is a ticking time bomb.
I hit the 90/10 rule with this. 90% of the providers I run into are positive, when hit the negative provider period, you should recognize it and either correct it or bail on it. Most bad reviews come from the guys who do neither.
I hit the 90/10 rule with this. 90% of the providers I run into are positive, when hit the negative provider period, you should recognize it and either correct it or bail on it. Most bad reviews come from the guys who do neither.
Very true, most of the time if they start getting negative, I find they want to vent for a little while but don’t want to dwell on it. So, I listen and then they move on. A way to get them to autocorrect is to start asking questions about their negative experience or whatever has upset them. They don’t really want to talk about it too much beyond what they have said.
It seems as if business is down these days, which is giving many too much idle time, which leads to more bickering among coworkers.
One who I like, started using the hour I was paying for to complain. I told her, I’m willing to listen to you and I care, but not for the hour I’m paying you. When she wants to talk or complain she invites me out for a meal. She tells me where to meet her and she pays. Sounds fair, right?
It seems as if business is down these days, which is giving many too much idle time, which leads to more bickering among coworkers.
One who I like, started using the hour I was paying for to complain. I told her, I’m willing to listen to you and I care, but not for the hour I’m paying you. When she wants to talk or complain she invites me out for a meal. She tells me where to meet her and she pays. Sounds fair, right?
..."A lot of asked and unasked questions get answered over the course of time. I’ve found that they WANT you to know, and they do tell you, but not in a way that is easily understood. At least not right away. Over time, they will tell you but be prepared to listen and not interrupt. And, think on what they say and be grateful they told you what they did. Don’t follow up with a lot of clarifying questions...."
.... Very insightful advice EL II... It takes time, trust and the ability to be a good listener to build a rapport with these Ladies... I agree with your assessments about the marriage, divorce and BF status...most of these relationships are Green card driven and are actually peripheral in the Gals lives...
....Besides the obvious language issues communicating with Providers can be very puzzling at times... It's important to note that they are from a different culture and to try to understand the nuances of their world..
...it also should be noted that they don't often ask questions directly and very often a casual observation can be an important question in disguise... Pay attention to them and their observations and they will not be as inscrutable as they appear...
Xooz
.... Very insightful advice EL II... It takes time, trust and the ability to be a good listener to build a rapport with these Ladies... I agree with your assessments about the marriage, divorce and BF status...most of these relationships are Green card driven and are actually peripheral in the Gals lives...
....Besides the obvious language issues communicating with Providers can be very puzzling at times... It's important to note that they are from a different culture and to try to understand the nuances of their world..
...it also should be noted that they don't often ask questions directly and very often a casual observation can be an important question in disguise... Pay attention to them and their observations and they will not be as inscrutable as they appear...
Xooz
Yes, yes, yes ! Over time, they will not be as inscrutable as they appear. What happens is as you get to know them, understand them and love them, you are able to read them and find out what you want or in some cases don’t want to know. You may find out by their actions, or by what other spa workers tell you, or thru actual conversations. As you come to know and understand them, you will find that you really don’t want to know what you are finding out. We tell ourselves that it can’t really be true and we get in deeper and deeper and deeper until it is too late and then we blame them. When it was really us who dove deeper. It was all there for us to see, we saw it but ignored it, preferring what we wanted to what was real. They do love us, as much as they can given their obligations, commitments and existing relationships, but unfortunately, often that’s not enough for us.
“.it also should be noted that they don't often ask questions directly and very often a casual observation can be an important question in disguise.”
This is we need to be very astute. Depends on how long I’ve known them, but if I’ve known them a long time, and they start asking about certain things I get nervous. I’ve found they have great memories. You might mention something in passing, but they will bring it up months later and frame what you said in a serious comment or discussion.
“.it also should be noted that they don't often ask questions directly and very often a casual observation can be an important question in disguise.”
This is we need to be very astute. Depends on how long I’ve known them, but if I’ve known them a long time, and they start asking about certain things I get nervous. I’ve found they have great memories. You might mention something in passing, but they will bring it up months later and frame what you said in a serious comment or discussion.
Anybody that’s ever been to an AMP knows that asking questions makes most providers suspicious, ask to many questions and they’ll tell you to leave. Something I learned over time about providers is, many don’t care to include their personal life/details while in a session, providing is their job, not something they’re doing instead of a more rewarding career, it’s amazing how these lovely women can disengage from normal, personal life all the while making us feel like king.
Some great dialog here on this topic. I wish I could have a conversation which would include several questions where I could be completely fluent in Mandarin, or where they could be completely fluent in English. I think it would help unravel some of the mystery , but they are still women, so who knows. A more practical question I’d ask is why do you feel the need to have a boob job? Your body and breasts are beautiful as is they are so be confident in what you have.
