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Confidence and age
- Thread starter Bigblackman
- Start date
It's easier with age to pull off the subtle art of not giving a fuck. Not a hostile manifesto, more like an understanding of the inevitable in life and accepting it. That creates confidence. Confidence comes from knowing that we suffer, we're not special, we own our shit...And as we age confidence comes from knowing that death is not the end of the world.
One advantage that older men have is that we know ourselves, our abilities and liabilities. Most things that we undertake at this point in life are done with that frame of mind. Things that I do I don't always have to explain, justify or rationalize. And not worrying about what others think all of the time. It's a bad look for an older man to ask for affirmation at every particular juncture.
And in this deviant subculture this mature confidence has its own kind of sexy, believe me, you young pups.
One advantage that older men have is that we know ourselves, our abilities and liabilities. Most things that we undertake at this point in life are done with that frame of mind. Things that I do I don't always have to explain, justify or rationalize. And not worrying about what others think all of the time. It's a bad look for an older man to ask for affirmation at every particular juncture.
And in this deviant subculture this mature confidence has its own kind of sexy, believe me, you young pups.
self confidence grows with accomplishments. Older men typically have self confidence because there was more time for them to attain accomplishments in professional and personal endeavors.
It absolutely does not mean younger men cannot be confident. I was one of those men but I still was missing something. The first 20 years of adult life were absolutely amazing but their was still a second half of adult life worth of accomplishments as well as avoiding pitfalls!!! Those pitfalls are downright scary at 40.
Once hit the big 60 and you now have 40 years of accomplishments. If you did many thing right, you will have a big, loving healthy family. You will have amassed enough resources to live out your life without one more single accomplishment. So at this point, you have history and financial independence. It now dawns on you that you ONLY have 20 good years left to live life to the fullest. The pitfalls increase but so should your urgency for you to actually LIVE in that time.
Bunkering down for two years because of covid would really be a difficult thing for a man like me to do. (10%) of my remaining useful life. I did take on quite a few of those safety related efforts but avoiding family, friends and co-workers was something I absolutely did not do. The really sad thing about our society is that there is still a residual covid social distancing and I am hopeful it gets better for all of those younger generation behind me.
It absolutely does not mean younger men cannot be confident. I was one of those men but I still was missing something. The first 20 years of adult life were absolutely amazing but their was still a second half of adult life worth of accomplishments as well as avoiding pitfalls!!! Those pitfalls are downright scary at 40.
Once hit the big 60 and you now have 40 years of accomplishments. If you did many thing right, you will have a big, loving healthy family. You will have amassed enough resources to live out your life without one more single accomplishment. So at this point, you have history and financial independence. It now dawns on you that you ONLY have 20 good years left to live life to the fullest. The pitfalls increase but so should your urgency for you to actually LIVE in that time.
Bunkering down for two years because of covid would really be a difficult thing for a man like me to do. (10%) of my remaining useful life. I did take on quite a few of those safety related efforts but avoiding family, friends and co-workers was something I absolutely did not do. The really sad thing about our society is that there is still a residual covid social distancing and I am hopeful it gets better for all of those younger generation behind me.
Even at 40 I have your mindset about age. Time is ticking. It goes faster and faster. I know a woman who is 90, still totally with it, who talks about the 1940’s like it was last month.
As far as confidence; I felt it has come with knowledge, maturity, and learning what is really important. No doubt I enjoy accomplishments and am still driven, but I accomplish things for me and not for others. Whereas in my 20’s I probably wanted to show off to others and toot my own horn. Now I realize how foolish that looks. I laugh at those with huge ego’s who feel they need to prove their greatness on a regular basis. I know guys over the age of 70 who are still burdened by endless insecurities and needing to prove their worth. It’s a sad state to be in at that age.
Covid was a wake up call for sure that time is valuable . Last two years are a blur and I often feel like it’s still 2020.
As far as confidence; I felt it has come with knowledge, maturity, and learning what is really important. No doubt I enjoy accomplishments and am still driven, but I accomplish things for me and not for others. Whereas in my 20’s I probably wanted to show off to others and toot my own horn. Now I realize how foolish that looks. I laugh at those with huge ego’s who feel they need to prove their greatness on a regular basis. I know guys over the age of 70 who are still burdened by endless insecurities and needing to prove their worth. It’s a sad state to be in at that age.
Covid was a wake up call for sure that time is valuable . Last two years are a blur and I often feel like it’s still 2020.
confidence regarding what, specifically? i find it different depending on what the topic is. What I spent my life doing professionally, it was strong to begin with and grew with knowledge gained through experience. Confidence in other areas, not so high initially but grew for the same reasons. yet I never have and never will have confidence singing…never will.
I'm a shy older guy...went to a store to return something. I saw this nice looking older lady eyeing me up as I walked to the line. As the line moved forward, she turned sideways, I did not look at her but I could tell she was checking me out. Finally I thought "f" it. I stared at her till she looked again, we gazed at each other for a good 10 seconds as I smiled with a twinkle in my eye. She left the line...LOL!
