100% happily married, will be 30 years this summer, and we've dated since almost ten years before that. She likes to do it only when she wants to, and that's not all the time, in fact, not often anymore. Her body her choice, oh well. I nuzzle up to her when she gets in bed, kiss and ST her, poke her between the cheeks, and more times than not, I get "OMG get that fscking thing outta there."
She encouraged me to go to provider the first time so many decades ago, and even now I call or text her on the way to or the way home, telling her about it. She got the cancer the year after we were married, and with her drive for getting banged dropping off, we discussed in an honest and open way, with me being open and up front that I could not go on in a marriage without sex or with a monthly scheduled appointment. With my wife. Now, when I text her a message about my visit, or call to give her the details, that gets her in the mood and I usually am in for a great surprise when she gets home from work at hospital. YMMV, lol
Everyone's situation is different, but being honest and upfront is the way to happiness, and this is true in all your endeavors. But you have to do it early, I understand if you've been married 20 years with kids and intertwined finances, that wouldn't be the time for demanding one of those "hall passes". Like they say, "closed mouth don't get fed".