Damn man, that sounds serious. Not judging or anything, more curious, don't you have any female friends? You should try and go out and socialize. I know we're not suppose to right now, but if it's messing with you that much, maybe go see your friends or something. As long as you're not out in public, going buck wild with no mask on. Go to a friends house or call up the guys and have a beer or two at someone's place. Just stay safe and healthy.